Patriots vs Eagles Drinking Game: Super Bowl Edition

Patriots in the Super Bowl again. Feels like a sequel to Groundhog Day where the protagonist over and over lives the same football season every year. Patriots start out as favorites, meet adversity, get dismissed by pundits, win a few games, Pats haters whine about something, ESPN makes outlandish claims, Pats win two playoff games, two weeks of media garbage, concluded with a thrilling football game.

History will be made on Sunday. No player has ever won 6 Super Bowls. No player wearing an Eagles jersey has ever won a Super Bowl. One of those things will happen Sunday. With this drinking game, you too can make history. You too can be the GOAT of Sunday evening drinking and Monday morning hangovers. There are no days off when it comes to abusing your liver.

So get lubed up, do your job, and we're not done (drinking).

Anytime a commentator says:

"Super" = take 1 drink of beer

"Bowl" = 1 drink, bonus points for hitting a bowl

"Fifty" = 1 drink

"Two," "too," or "to" = 1 drink

"Minneapolis" = 1 drink

"St. Paul" = 1 drink, say a prayer

"Twin cities" = two drinks

"Minnesota" = 1 drink

"Concussion" = finish your beer, slam can/bottle against skull

"Protocol" = 1 drink, then go inside a tent for 5 minutes

"Rob" = 1 drink

"Gronk" = 1 drink

Name that ends in "-ski" = 1 drink, eat some Polish kielbasa

"History" = 1 drink

"GOAT, greatest, best, etc." = 1 drink

"Tom" = 1 drink

"5-time" = drink for 5 seconds

"6-time" = drink for 6 seconds

"Champion" = 1 drink

"Bill" = 1 drink

"Malcolm" = 1 drink

"Brandon" = 1 drink

"Nate" = 1 drink

"Steven" = 1 drink

"Cris, Chris, etc." = 1 drink

"Al" = 1 drink

"NBC" = drink for as many seconds as your local NBC station (e.g. 7 seconds for channel 7)

"Here's a guy" = finish your beer

Anytime this is on screen:

Roman numeral = 1 drink per numeral/letter (so LII is 3 drinks, VIII would be 4)

Lombardi trophy (real or image of) = 1 drink per trophy

Super Bowl logo (any year) = 1 drink per logo

Vikings logo = 1 drink per horn (bonus points for drinking mead)

Ice or snow = 1 drink (bonus points if drinking cocktail with ice cubes)

Bill Belichick not talking = 1 drink

Bob Kraft talking = 1 drink

Josh McDaniels holding tablet or sheet = 1 drink

Matt Patricia = 1 drink, put pencil behind ear, first person whose pencils fall out drinks entire beer

Ernie Adams = 1 shot of gin

Green Man = 1 drink per man

Dog mask = 1 drink per dog

Roger Goodell = finish beer, throw it at TV

Highlights from previous Super Bowls = drink during entire highlight

Replays of Gronk concussion = 1 drink, 1 shot

Carson Wentz on sideline = 1 drink

Wentz highlight = 1 shot

Any kind of injury report or list = 1 drink per injured player

Anytime this happens:

Penalty = 1 drink per penalty yard

Touchback = 1 shot of liquor

Kickoff/punt return = drink during entire return

First down = 1 drink of beer

Turnover = finish your beer

Field goal = 3 drinks

PAT = 1 drink

Missed kick = 1 shot

Brady points out the "mike" linebacker = 1 drink, bonus points if drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade (but only if you're a girl and/or weigh less than 160 pounds, if not it's negative points)

Brady says "alpha milk" = 1 drink, bonus points if it's a White Russian

Brady throws pass to a non-WR = 1 drink

Patriot besides Brady throws a pass = 1 shot

Brady gets pissed at himself and/or others = 1 drink

Gronkowski catches pass = 1 drink

You're worried Gronk is hurt = 1 drink, 1 shot

Gronk actually is hurt = 1 drink, 1 shot, enter alcohol abuse protocol

Gronk scores = finish your beer and Gronk spike it (bonus points for glass)

Danny Amendola gets the ball in a non-receiving way (run, throw, return) = 1 drink

Amendola makes a clutch catch = finish your beer

Dion Lewis or James White gets the ball in a non-running way (catch, return) = 1 drink

Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink

Slater downs the ball inside the 20 = 1 drink for each yard inside the 20 (5 yard line = 15 drinks)

Slater lines up at WR = 1 shot

Bernard Reedy is on the field = entire beer

Kenny Britt catches a pass = finish beer

Dwayne Allen thrown to = finish beer

Patriots go no huddle = 1 drink at first snap, 2 at second snap, 3 at third, etc.

Patriots try a trick play = 1 drink

Patriots successful with trick play = 1 drink, 1 shot

Patriots score TD on trick play = whole beer, 1 shot, 1 glass of wine

Eagles player acts like they're flying = 1 drink

Eagles fumble the ball = 1 drink

LeGarrette Blount runs someone over = 1 drink, bonus points for hitting a blunt

Jay Ajayi runs 10+ yards = 1 drink, bonus points for smoking a jay

Chris Long makes a tackle = 1 drink

Justin Timberlake exposes a body part = 1 drink per part

You hold in a piss during the game AND commercials = 1 drink per play, 1 drink per commercial

A commercial tries to be funny but fails = 1 drink

You flip over to Puppy Bowl = 1 drink per puppy on screen

So enjoy the game. Then enjoy the ambulance ride, then the hospital visit, then the morgue. Your funeral procession can be like your own personal championship parade for winning this drinking game. The hearse is like a duckboat.

Patriots got the big score and the big stop when they needed to

When was the last time we saw a Patriots team score when they needed to score at the end of a playoff game, AND get a stop when they needed a stop? Actually, let's give the Patriots' defense credit for 1.5 stops, holding the Ravens to a field goal the drive before Brady and the offense drove for the game-winning touchdown.

In the first Super Bowl against the Giants, the Pats got the score, but not the stop at the end.

In the 2006 AFC Championship game against Indy, the Pats couldn't score touchdowns in the 4th quarter to win the game. They couldn't get stops either.

So as frightening as this game started, both sides of the ball ultimately did their job.

The game-winning drive was vintage Brady. He distributed the ball to 6 different receivers. He ran for a first down. And he threw a beautiful pass to Brandon LaFell for the touchdown. Danny Amendola made the biggest play of the series on 3rd and 6, breaking a tackle, and extending the ball forward to secure the first down.

The previous drive, the defense made a goal-to-go stand to hold Baltimore to 3 points. Cris Collinsworth correctly said "The difference between a field goal and touchdown here may be the game." It was.

On Baltimore's next drive, the Ravens moved the ball, but not in the big chunks they wanted to. Time was ticking away. And a Joe Flacco jump ball was finally hauled in by a Pats DB. Live by the chuck, die by the chuck.

It's unfortunate that the Patriots were in a position where they needed both a score and 1.5 stops to win. The Ravens dominated the game for the first 10 minutes, and I was getting flashbacks of past playoff embarrassments at the hands of the Ravens and Jets.

But this time the Pats had Rob Gronkowski. He made 2 big plays on the Patriots' first scoring drive: a 16 yard reception on 3rd and 8, and that big 46 yard gain. Gronk finished with 7 catches for 108 yards and a TD. And who knows how much his presence on the field, and the attention he drew from the defense, helped other receivers get open.

I've often criticized the Patriots for trying to be too clever on offense. In the 3rd quarter they had just the right amount of cleverness. The Ravens couldn't keep up with who was an eligible receiver and who was ineligible. Vereen was ineligible when Brady threw to Hoomanawanui. But the play before, Hoomanawanui was the ineligible one. You didn't hear it on TV, but the ref announced "Number 47 is ineligible, don't cover 47." Then Hooman was eligible on the next play, and Vereen was announced ineligible. The Ravens got confused, and John Harbaugh threw a hissy fit. Harbaugh called it deception, but it was lack of attention. To quote Robert the Bruce's diseased father in Braveheart "You let yourself be deceived."

That drive ended in a touchdown. And we all remember the trick play a few minutes later, Brady to Edelman to Amendola. It was the whitest touchdown in the NFL since the color barrier was broken in 1946 by Kenny Washington and Woody Strode. It probably aggravated Harbaugh too, since it was another example of deceptive play. Harbaugh is probably lobbying the NFL to outlaw play-action as well.

The Patriots won the second half 21-10. They've been an excellent second half team this season. Since the Chiefs debacle, the Patriots have outscored opponents 204-104 in the second half, allowing an average of 8 points, and scoring an average of 15.7. Going forward, it would be nice if the Patriots didn't NEED an amazing second half in order to win.

The Patriots outscored the Colts 28-10 in the second half of their Week 11 meeting. And that's who they'll play in the AFC Championship game on Sunday.

Photo Credit: Jim Rogash/Getty Images

Patriots win was ugly, had good personality

Ugly wins are wins. This was just about as ugly as you could get. No protection for Brady, who\ made a very poor decision and threw a pick. Inconsistent pressure on Geno Smith. Stupid penalties. No offensive movement for most of the game. Ugly, ugly, ugly. But a win, win, win.

And by winning the Patriots advance to the Divisional Round of the playoffs, with a chance to clinch the #1 seed pending the Broncos/Bengals game.

As unattractive as this game was for the Patriots, some big plays gave it a good personality. The Pats rarely pressured Smith, but when they did they forced an interception, and sacked him twice on big third down plays when the Jets were threatening to score. One sack pushed the Jets back 10 yards before they attempted a 52-yard field goal. That field goal was tipped by Vince Wilfork, and the Patriots kept the lead.

Special teams once again factored into a victory, both the blocked field goal and a 39-yard punt return by Danny Amendola at the start of the 2nd quarter that eventually led to Gronkowski's touchdown.

Speaking of Amendola, this was by far his best performance of the year. Brady targeted him 11 times and he caught 8 passes, both team highs, for 63 yards. He had 8 catches in his previous 6 games combined, and only 68 yards. A third of his production this season came Sunday afternoon.

When he got hurt last year and Edelman stepped in and excelled, Amendola found himself without a role in this offense. That's not an excuse, because it speaks to a lack of versatility on Amendola's part, as well as his difficulty staying healthy. Nevertheless, it's unfair to just dismiss him as a complete failure, because if not for Edelman being a great slot receiver, Amendola would have been a good one. When charged with that task, he's done well.

One thing that this game made clear is that the running backs will only do as well as the offensive line does. All the clamoring for Jonas Gray to get carries, all the lobbying made by fans and pundits to run the ball more, it's based on how well the line has played, not how good the RBs are. Jonas Gray had a great game against Indy. But he did it behind an offensive line having an even better game. On Sunday the line struggled, and so did the RBs.

And that point also should make your o-line concerns more prominent. It's the biggest worry this team has going into the playoffs. Brady can't pass without protection. Blount, Gray, and Vereen can't run without holes. This team can't move the ball if the line can't win battles in the trenches.

Concerns aside, the Patriots won the bye, and can clinch home-field advantage if Cincinnati beats Denver Monday night. When the Patriots squeezed by the Jets 27-25 in October, and were about to play a bunch of games against tough teams, did you imagine that they'd be on the verge of clinching the #1 seed?

Hopefully Cincinnati gives us an early Christmas present.

Photo Credit:
Andrew Millis/NJ Advance Media for NJ.com

Brandon LaFell Is the Opposite of Danny Amendola

The Patriots signed Brandon LaFell, formerly of the Carolina Panthers, to a three year deal.

What I like about this signing is that LaFell's strengths are the same as Danny Amendola's weaknesses.

LaFell is big. He's 6' 2" and 208 pounds, which is 3 inches taller and 25 pounds larger than Amendola.

Lafell stays healthy. He's played in 14+ games every year he's been in the League. He's played 60 games in 4 years and started all 16 last year.

Danny Amendola is a player who comes with lots of "ifs." IF he can stay on the field, IF he can avoid injury. The only if with LaFell is "If he continues to be what he's been."

He's caught 36+ passes in all 4 of his seasons. He's caught for 600+ yards in each of his last 3 seasons. In the last 2 years he's averaged about 3 catchers per game for 43.5 yards.

His numbers are far from eye-popping. He's clearly not a game-changer at wide receiver. If this were baseball, I'd say he's like a #3 or #4 starter in the rotation. An innings eater. Or maybe a middle reliever. You don't win because of him but he does help you win.

And that's where he currently fits in on the Patriots roster. Let's just assume you can't rely on Amendola to stay healthy. The WR depth chart goes: Julian Edelman, LaFell, then Kenbrell Thompkins and Aaron Dobson. With LaFell in there, there's a less severe drop off from Edelman to Thompkins and Dobson. That means less pressure on those sophomore receivers, and someone besides Edelman that Brady can target.

He's an innings eater. He's a receptions eater.

I still think the Patriots could use more help at wide receiver, but the market is drying up. It's getting close to last call and the Patriots seem to be considering going home with psychopath Kenny Britt. I typically don't mind low-risk/high-reward signings like Britt would be, however I think adding uncertainty to an already very uncertain position might not be very sound. Not without finding another pass catcher with more reliability on and off the field. If you had a group of running backs with fumbling issues, would you address that issue by signing another one with butterfingers?

Then again, Britt is 6' 3." And he might be Building 19 cheap.*

*For those who don't know what Building 19 is, it used to be a really cheap store. Cheaper than Wal-Mart cheap

Patriots Make Everyone Happy and Sign Darrelle Revis

The Patriots and cornerback Darrelle Revis have reportedly agreed to a one-year deal worth $12 million.

To anyone who said that the Patriots should have franchised Aqib Talib and paid him $11.8 million for one year, do you wish to recant and repent? I'll give you a few moments...

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To anyone who completely freaked out yesterday and acted like they had PMS because Talib got signed by the Broncos, I'm going to give you a few moments to contemplate how foolish you were to get so overly emotional on March 12th...


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Let's also not forget the so-called "experts" who confidently declared that Revis would demand top dollar, probably costing $16 million a season. And that once Revis saw what Talib got, Revis would want a similarly large and lengthy deal. What actually happened was that Revis took a pay-cut to play for the Patriots. And the deal lasts one season. Let's think about how smart these pundits, who spend 365 days a year trying to figure out the Patriots, actually were...

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And now let's move on. Idiots.

I can't say I love the $12 million cap hit, however it's just for a year. And in terms of guaranteed money, the Patriots are paying less than half of what the Denver Broncos paid Talib. So the Pats get a better player, who is less injury prone, for less guaranteed money. They pay more per year, but both Revis and the Patriots have flexibility for 2015. Flexibility is everything.

I'm thrilled with this acquisition. They got Revis at less than what anyone expected. They've actually improved at a position despite losing their most important defensive player at the same position. How often does that happen? In any sport. Imagine a hockey team losing their starting goalie, or a baseball team their Ace pitcher, only to bring in someone else and improve at the position in less than 24 hours.

There's still more work to be done. The Patriots NEED wide receivers. Right now, their #1 WR under contract is Danny Amendola, and that's alarming. As much as I like signing Revis, by signing him it's now more difficult to sign the absolute best available receivers. So, foolish overly emotional Patriots fans, please remember this. Keep your expectations grounded when it comes to big name receivers.

Apart from receivers, the Pats also still need a second tight-end who can occasionally catch, a pass rusher or two, maybe another CB for depth.

Sun Tzu said in The Art of War that "Every battle is won before it's fought." Similarly, Super Bowls are won before they are played: in the off-season, in training camp, in practice. This acquisition helps the Patriots win the battles they'll find themselves fighting in the autumn and winter. At the same time, the off-season isn't over yet, and it's just one phase of the year.

I'm excited to see Revis in a Patriots uniform. But Super Bowls are played in February, not March. The 2014 NFL Year has only just begun. There are many more days left.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack

Tom Brady Needs Better Tools, and the Patriots Need a Better Tom Brady

Tom Brady needs more and better tools. By the same token, Brady needs to do his job with those tools. Brady didn't do his job this season. The Patriots should give Brady better pass catchers for next season, but Brady must throw better than he did this season.

The Patriots need more and better targets for Brady. That's obvious. Last year they planned/hoped to have Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Danny Amendola, Julian Edelman, and long shot rookies Kenbrell Thompkins and Aaron Dobson. Those plans fell apart due to arrests and injuries. The Patriots' season ended with Austin Collie as the second most effective receiver on the field, Michael Hoomanawanui being targeted multiple times, and Matthew Slater being thrown to for the first time all year. That's just not good enough.

The season also ended with Brady missing Edelman and Collie. Also not good enough.

There's a wealth of talent on the wide receiver market. And size. The Patriots need to look for size. Size matters.

The Patriots need receivers that are matchup problems for opponents. As effective as Edelman is and as a healthy Amendola can be, they don't give defenses headaches. They are who they are and covering them is pretty straightforward. When someone like Gronkowski is on the field, however, the defense is forced to focus on playing against him. That leads to opportunities for everyone else. And Brady is a master at exploiting those mismatches. Guys like Gronkowski bring their own production and also boost the production of others. The Pats need another guy like that.

Which is why the Pats need a big, strong receiver. It will make everyone more productive because defenses will be forced to adjust to the threat. And then you're also no longer overly dependent on a tight-end who is playing physical on every snap, especially on running plays. Gronk was targeted 67 times in his 7 games. He caught 39 passes. Most of those in tight coverage, most of those plays ending with gang tackles or hard shots to his legs. The less wear and tear on him, the better.

I think Aaron Dobson works as a simple, vertical player. Obviously Edelman excels at the underneath stuff. Amendola is serviceable so long as he gets favorable matchups. And he'll get those matchups if the Patriots get that power receiver. And then Edelman will find gaps in coverage. And Dobson will sometimes find himself in a favorable one-on-one matchup on the outside and get open for deep bombs. Defenses will be forced to worry about underneath, over the top, up the seams, on the sides, guys like Shane Vereen coming out of the backfield, and of course the run. Matchup difficulties, baby. Give the defensive coordinator a migraine.

Getting a big receiver helps Brady and the offense so much. The thing is, Brady must help them back. "Do Your Job," became a Patriot mantra this season and at times Brady didn't do his job. His job is to find open receivers and send them the ball. His job was sometimes more difficult because of what he had to work with. But how many times did we see him completely miss open receivers?

The poor throws to Edelman and Collie against the Broncos were the latest examples. I've heard the argument/complaint/excuse that "Brady had to be perfect this season," but he didn't. He just had to make one more good throw to Edelman. Then the game changes. An abstract part of Brady's job is to change the game. He's paid to be a game-changer. He didn't do any game changing against Denver.

Just think about how much flak Edelman would have gotten if he dropped a well-thrown pass there. Edelman's job is to catch, Brady's is to throw catchable balls. Who did their job with more consistency this season?

Such missed throws were not a rarity for Brady in 2013.

Remember the non-pass interference call against Carolina? That ball was deemed uncatchable because it wasn't near Gronkowski. It was underthrown. Brady threw low and short to a 6' 7" tight-end. The officiating became the story, but if Brady throws a better ball then maybe Gronk makes a catch or the refs call the penalty. Who had more impact on Gronk's inability to make a play on that ball: Luke Kuechly or Tom Brady?

I'm not trying to saddle everything on Brady. He's one of the best ever and still one of the best in the NFL. Even as he ages, his mind remains sharp, and when he makes the throws it's truly a thing of beauty. I'm blaming his play. It wasn't good enough. He didn't do his job enough. Personally I think he played a significant part of the season with an injury, and not to his hand. Regardless of the cause of his play, he must play better to take advantage of any new weapons the Patriots give him.

You can give a man the best guns and ammo on the planet. But if he misses the target, what's the point?

If the Patriots give him tools, Brady has to do his job.

Photo Credit:
Barry Chin/Boston Globe Staff

Patriots' Season Ends in Denver

Pressure. The game of football is about pressure. You pressure an opponent, they pressure you, and the clock pressures everyone. To win you must put pressure on an opponent and play well under pressure.

On Sunday the Patriots failed to put any significant pressure on Peyton Manning. For all the talk about Manning struggling in pressure situations, he never found himself in one. The defense rarely pressured him in the pocket, his receivers weren't pressured (especially once Aqib Talib left the game), and the Patriots offense didn't pressure him to put up points.

The Pats gave up 2 touchdowns and 4 field goals. That's not bad against the Broncos. That was the third fewest points they've scored this season. The Pats defense didn't allow a huge number of points but they allowed yardage and possession time. They allowed almost 0.3 miles of offense. And they couldn't make a big third down stop.

The offensive side of the ball was an even bigger letdown. Before Denver went to softer coverage in the 4th quarter, Brady threw only a handful of good passes. He overthrew Julian Edelman on what could have been a touchdown. He missed Austin Collie just before halftime on what would have been a huge gain. What happens in this game if these two plays are made?

The plays were there. The Patriots didn't make them. In the 2nd quarter on 3rd and 9, Manning threw a duck into double coverage. And if Kyle Arrington had turned around to play the ball he probably would have intercepted it. At the very least he would have broken the play up and ended the drive. Instead it was caught by Welker for a first down. The Broncos went on to score a touchdown on that drive.

While the Patriots failed to make big plays, the Broncos succeeded. On the same drive that Arrington could have had an interception, Knowshon Moreno gained 28 yards on a 3rd and 10 draw. The Broncos sacked Brady on a pivotal 3rd and 8 play the next drive, and later in the game on a 4th and 2 attempt. Last week I wrote about the timing of big plays the Patriots made against the Colts. This week the Broncos had excellent timing against the Pats.

Tom Brady had an awful game. Maybe he has an injured hand. Maybe he has the flu. Maybe he just had a bad day. Whatever the cause, the effect was a hole dug too deeply to get out of. The defense could have done better, maybe gotten off the field on a few 3rd downs, but I think the blame for this loss lies mostly with the offense. Three points in three quarters? The Pats only scored when Denver's defense eased up.

To be fair to Brady he didn't have much to work with. With a struggling running game the offense looked shabby, like the Patriots had picked people from the stands to play. Shane Vereen was the second most targeted receiver. Danny Amendola did nothing, and had a big fat drop. You're targeting Matthew Slater and Matthew Mulligan. And when receivers did beat coverage, Brady either missed them or he was sacked.

It was an anticlimactic end to what was an exciting season. I'm not as miserable as most fans are. I enjoyed the ride, not knowing where or when it would end. I didn't set my expectations high for this team. I didn't set any expectations. I had hopes and I had doubts. The Patriots did better than my most pessimistic doubts and didn't do as well as my highest hopes.

The one thing I'm disappointed in is that the Patriots didn't go out with their best fight. They went out with a fizzle, not a bang. I think there were some missed opportunities early in this game. I think the defense could have been a bit more disguised. I would have liked to see some sellout blitzes. You couldn't take out all 4 of Manning's weapons, so focus on attacking Manning. Take a risk. What's the worse that can happen? You get burnt for a touchdown, but at least the drive is short.

The off-season should be interesting. So will next season, Pats fans, so cheer up.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Joe Mahoney

Patriots Can't Finish Against Fins

It would be easy to say that the Patriots are banged up, beaten up, and even their "healthy" players aren't near 100%. It would be easy to blame a loss on all the injuries. The thing is, even with all injuries considered, the Patriots could have, and should have won this game.

They didn't win because they failed to finish drives. Offensively and defensively. They didn't do well enough in the Red Zone on offense, and on defense they failed to get off the field in pivotal 3rd and 4th down situations. This game turned on 3 or 4 plays.

The Patriots' first drive went for 83 yards and ended in a Red Zone field goal. By the end of the 2nd quarter they were finally able to put together a touchdown drive. However the defense failed to stop Miami on a 3rd and 10 with 1:23 left before halftime. a stop there and maybe Brady and the offense have a chance to score. However the defense failed to get the ball back. Then failed to stop Miami.

The Patriots defense failed to finish the drive on 3rd and long. Miami scored and kept themselves in it. Instead of going into halftime up 14-0 or 10-0, it was 10-7, and the Dolphins had hope.

In the 4th quarter the Patriots had three drives totaling 220 yards. And only one drive ended with a touchdown. Without Rob Gronkowski the Pats will struggle to score in the air in the Red Zone. And they didn't even try to score on the ground.

Gronk was 79 inches tall, 8 inches taller than Amendola, 9 inches taller than Edelman. Size matters in the Red Zone.

If you look at the raw numbers, the Patriots theoretically should have won. They accumulated more yardage, won the time of possession battle, committed fewer penalties, were better on 3rd down, rushed more per carry, allowed fewer sacks, turnovers were even. The difference was a handful of plays at key moments: Not stopping Miami on 3rd and 10 before halftime, or on 4th and 5 in the 4th quarter. Kicking Red Zone field goals instead of scoring touchdowns.

One strategic issue I had with the Patriots in the 4th quarter was just after they'd achieved a 1st down at the Miami 19 with 0:27 on the clock. The Pats took a timeout. I would have spiked the ball at that moment and saved the timeout. That would have kept the playbook open and forced Miami to defend the middle of the field, not just the edges. Once the Patriots took that timeout, all Miami had to defend was the space outside the numbers and in the end zone. And that put the Patriots receivers in position to have one-on-one physical battles, which the Patriots are not equipped to do without Gronk or big receivers. Edelman and Amendola, as brilliant as they are, are not going to outmuscle safeties and linebackers in the Red Zone.

Also the ball was still 19 yards away from the goal line. Keep the timeout and you can try to close the distance to 10 yards in the middle of the field. Guys like Edelman and Amendola are best when they have the option to dart inside and outside. They're at a disadvantage if they're forced to play on the edges and not use their shiftiness.

I'm not going to panic and go to DefCon 2 over this loss. The Patriots failed to win. The world somehow continues to spin. No other AFC team is significantly better than the Pats. The Broncos can't beat the Chargers at home. The Bengals were thrashed by the Steelers, who were dominated by the Patriots, who lost to the Bengals (the common denominator in all three of those games is that the home team won). I see little to no separation among the best AFC teams, and see that a handful of plays is the difference between winning and losing.

The Pats are beat up and injured, but they've won 10 games. They were 1 play from winning this game. I'm not too concerned. They have issues and weaknesses. Just like all the other teams out there.

Patriots play the Ravens in Baltimore Sunday evening. As well as Baltimore has been playing, they have weaknesses too. But I'm sure all week people will focus on the weaknesses the Patriots have.

Photo Credit:
Robert Mayer-USA Today Sports

Six in 'Nati (Get It? Like Cincinnati, and Also the Painfully Low Number of Points the Patriots Scored)

We should have known this type of game was possible. In the past we've seen the Patriots' offense fail to do enough to carry the team to victory. But Sunday afternoon they did NOTHING to help win the game. The defense played well enough for the team to win. The offense didn't. The offense lost the game.

The Patriots haven't been held to 6 points since 1996. That meaningless touchdown streak Brady had came to an end. The Pats were 1 for 12 on 3rd down. Brady threw 20 incompletions compared with 18 completions. The best non-defensive performers on the team were Stephen Gostkowski and punter Ryan Allen.

And I'm primarily going to blame Tom Brady. He just doesn't look sharp. Every catch seems difficult, miraculous at times. On Sunday he overthrew, underthrew, and completely missed receivers. There were occasions when Dobson didn't run the route that Brady expected, there were also occasions when Brady was horribly inaccurate when throwing downfield, especially in the middle of the field. Even when he and the receivers connect, the catches are hard and off-stride.

Smaller portions of blame go to Danny Amendola, who had a big drop in the 4th quarter (he's looking more and more like Wes Welker). Brandon Bolden dropped a few passes. LeGarrette Blount fumbled. Let's not forget all of that.

I'll also blame the play-calling. The wide receivers still don't seem to be on the same page with Brady. So maybe it's time to go with a simpler page. Especially in the 4th quarter when you're down by a score. I don't remember the offensive playbook being so complex when the Patriots didn't have Pro Bowlers running routes, back from 2001 to 2006. Maybe going back to basics wouldn't be such a bad thing.

And the Red Zone play-calling irritated me more than anything. A token jumbo package run that failed. By the way, I've been told that Blount isn't a very good short yardage back, despite his bulk. I believe that. The Pats then went from simple play to cute trickery, throwing a pass to Nate Solder. Why? The 3rd down play was a good call, it just didn't work. I would have liked to see the Patriots try that on 2nd down, then again on 3rd if it failed.

On the bright side, the defense continues to play well. They pressured Dalton, and sacked him at key times. They held Green, Gresham, and Eifert to 138 combined yards, which isn't bad at all. And they were a 4th down stop away from bringing this game into overtime, despite how Godawful the offense was playing. The defense gave Brady so many chances for a game-winning drive. Brady and the offense failed to deliver.

The Patriots host the Saints next weekend. That's kind of a big game. But as we've seen between the Pats win over Atlanta, and now their loss to Cincinnati, you're only as good as you play each week. So don't panic about this loss, and don't develop an anxiety disorder if the Saints come to town and win (and don't plan a Super Bowl trip if the Pats win). This is a week to week spot, take it one week at a time.

Photo Credit:
Marc Lebryk - USA Today

Ugly, Ugly, Ugly

Photo Credit:

AP Photo - Bill Wippert

I honestly have no idea how to start writing about this game. It would take the talent and skill of William Shakespeare to truly express, in words, how grotesquely ugly this game was for the Patriots. And yet they won. They've had ugly wins before, particularly against Buffalo, and particularly in September. And we tend to forget them so long as the next game is on the attractive side. Hopefully we'll forget this one soon, like a regrettable drunken night during which many mistakes were made.

So I'll accentuate the positive first, then address the negatives that ABSOLUTELY MUST be corrected, then finish with a conclusion like "Week 1's goodness, badness, and ugliness only matter if they extend into Week 2."

Danny Amendola earned the respect of New England in this game. He might have a fragile, injury-prone body, but he's not frail. He's not J.D. Drew. He pushed himself through pain as Brady's go-to guy, and had a huge game. Julian Edelman got the TDs, but Amendola seemed to have every big catch in every crucial situation. When Brady needed a play, he went to Amendola.

Shane Vereen started the day as a backup and finished as a starter. He ran the ball 14 times for 101 yards. And he didn't fumble. He also caught 7 passes for 58 yards. And didn't fumble. He also held onto the ball. And he didn't let the ball go. Zero was the number of fumbles he had.

The Patriots lost a lot of pass reception production when Woodhead left (which we forget about with the departure of Welker, the incarceration of Hernandez, and the injury to Gronkowski). If Vereen can provide a chunk of that production, it would take pressure off replacement receivers and tight-ends.

Kyle Arrington was the defensive star, forcing some fumbles. Without the big plays made by Amendola, Vereen, or Arrington, the Patriots lose and lose badly. Really, really badly.

By the same token, without all the mistakes Buffalo made, the Patriots lose and lose badly. All the penalties and turnovers killed Buffalo's momentum whenever it was starting to build. Buffalo did their best to make this an easy Patriots win. The Pats did all they could to make it difficult.

Ball control issues plague Stevan Ridley and have for years. It's one thing when Brady fumbles a QB/Center exchange. That's a one in a million miscue that could happen to anyone at anytime. Ridley has a trend of fumbling, and history seems to be repeating itself.

The rookie pass catchers looked like rookies. Kenbrell Thompkins made a sideline catch but couldn't get two feet down. It was a catch in college, not the NFL. He also didn't realize how much space he had in the back of the end zone and went out of bounds. It was a touchdown in the CFL not in the NFL. Zach Sudfeld stumbled on a route then couldn't haul in a Brady pass, which turned into an INT. Gronkowski's giant bear claw hands (which are just as sticky as bear claws) would have enveloped the ball, Sudfeld instead batted it to a defender.

Maybe these things get better as the season progresses, maybe not. They'd better.

It's a short turnaround against the Jets. Not much time to dwell on mistakes, which maybe is a good thing. Maybe the team can get back out there on Thursday and play a cleaner game. Sort of like giving the ball to a runningback the first offensive play after he fumbles. Get back on the horse and what have you.