Thursday, August 11, 2005

DEMEANING A YANKEE FAN

I'm only going to do this once but I'm going to do it properly. Some guy has been posting comments on Red Sox blogs like this one and Away Team (which is actually a pretty good looking Sox site despite the political leanings of its writer).

Anyway, Here is this guy's blog. It really isn't about the Yankees very much. It is more about him saying "F the Red Sox" over and over and over again. I guess it says alot that there are Yankee fans so obsessed with their once pathetic rivals up here in Massachusetts. We've come a long way from where we were in 1997 and the Yankees haven't won since 2000 despite spending over half a billion dollars since that year.

Let's just look at a singular post.
"Hey fucker sit down it's a pop up!" Why does every red sux fans freak out whenever the ball is hit during a game, god I love how little these fans know about baseball.
I was near fenway the other day as a matter of fact, just getting a view of the enemies' home base up close. I decided to bring up the biggest lugey I had in my throat with so much mucas, and then proceeded to spit it at the green monster, while giving it the finger and the evil eye all at the same time, there season is over now!!

The thing this guy might not comprehend is that sitting in Section 41 of the RF bleachers about 500 feet from the plate, it isn't exactly easy to read that a 400 foot fly ball isn't going to be a 430 foot Homerun. Fans at Yankee Stadium do the same thing, go crazy whenever the Yankees make hard contact on the ball. It happens. Oh, and Fenway has been around for 93 years, it has had multiple fires, been rebuilt twice, and had millions of fans come and go. Your spit, whatever ghastly fluids it might contain, is probably not going to have an impact on the structure, or on the fate of the team which plays inside.

A lot of people say why do you live in boston if you complain about it so much? I love the city of Boston itself, it's her inhabitants that cast a bad light on a wonderfully crafted city. The positives of the city, wipe out the negatives of the fans.
Just try listening to at least five minutes of talk radio in Boston. You will laugh your ass off, with how these un-educated whorebags chop up the english language! And again how they all have forgotten about Manny, I laugh, ha!
And what about Manny? "Manny being Manny" even he's wearing shirts that say that, does he realize it's really saying, "Manny being a Retard"

I may be an uneducated whorebag, but I think I could come up with a better insult than that. Oh, and I've never heard a New Yorker, or Ney Jerseyan mangle words like call or Mark Clark.

FUCK YOU ROYAL ROOTERS FROM THE EARLY 20TH CENTURY!
FUCK YOU DOUCHE BAGS FROM DORCHESTER
FUCK YOU GABE KAPLER
FUCK YOU TROT NIXON, I HOPE YOU NEVER STEP FOOT ON THE FIELD AGAIN
FUCK YOU SCHILLING YOU LOUD MOUTH, GUN TOATING, STERIOD TAKING, JESUS LOVING, REPUBLICAN BASTARD!
FUCK YOU MANNY, YOU CRACK SMOKING MORON!
FUCK YOU THEO EPSTEIN
FUCK YOU JERRY REMY
FUCK YOU JOHNNY PESKY, THE PESKY POLE... STUPID!
FUCK YOU BALL GIRLS, YOU FUCKING UGLY WHORES!
FUCK YOU JASON VARITEK, STICK THAT FUCKING "C"ON YOUR UNIFORM UP DAMON'S ASS, MAYBE IT WILL TEACH HIM HOW TO TALK LIKE A HUMAN!
FUCK YOU BOSTON CAB DRIVERS
FUCK YOU MITT ROMNEY, YOU REPUBLICAN
FUCK YOU YAZ!
FUCK YOU JIM RICE
FUCK YOU DEWEY EVANS - WHAT ARE YOU LIKE 5? DEWEY??
FUCK YOU DAVE HENDERSON- WITH THAT SMILE THAT TOOK UP ALL THE ROOM ON THE TV BACK IN 1986 WHILE TRYING TO WATCH THE PLAYOFFS
Finally,
FUCK YOU FENWAY PARK - your seats are too small, you give ketchup with your hotdogs, you are falling apart, you have no parking, and you are too small, it's intimate, yeah fuck that!


You tell those Royal Rooters. Go down to the cemetary, and yell your ass off at those guys. Just don't expect a response. I hate douchebags from Dorchester too. The rest of the people from there are OK I guess. If I were a Yankee fan, I wouldn't want Trot to take the field again either. I don't think Curt will be too insulted to be called a Jesus loving Republican because I think that is kind of what he is. I guess Johnny Damon doesn't talk like a human. My questions is, what animal does Johnny talk like? A giraffe? Perhaps a hippopotamus. Wait, I've got it, a lemur. I think Dwight Evans is significantly older than 5. It'd be pretty amazing to play so well if he were only five! And the thing about Dave Henderson, I don't even comprehend what that could possibly mean. Was his mouth wicked big or something? Big teeth maybe? I like ketchup with my hot dogs, BTW.

I posted a comment on this guy's blog because at the top he says "Viva La Yankees." I mentioned that it should be Viva Los Yankees because Yankees is plural and masculine and Los is the Spanish article for plural/masculine words. Apparently I offended this guy and he deleted my comment.

Weirdly enough, on Abe's Away Team blog, he decided to post 10 links to hardcore gay porn sites (I'm assuming this from the URL) which he was able to type up in the span of 4 minutes. Although his knowledge of such websites is impressive, it just seemd to be a bit awkward to me that he would post such things on a Red Sox blog's comments.

Anyways, I expect a barrage of poorly written, profanity ridden, gay porn linking comments from this guy but I just wanted to get a few thoughts off my chest.

FENWAY DEFINATELY NOT MR. ROGER'S NEIGHBORHOOD


The photo is such a cliche. Its on ESPN.com and Yahoo every time for nearly every game. The pitcher walking back to the mound with his head down while an out of focus figure trots around the bases. It's so great though.

What the hell was Rogers doing on the mound? Why did some "impartial" arbitrator force MLB to reinstate him? How come the Rangers, who are already out of the race, didn't impose their own suspension for the remaining 7 games? It wound out that it was a good thing as Rogers started strong but wore down.

The Red Sox scored 35 runs in the series, which is the good news. The bad news is that they allowed 18. You can give up 6 runs a game if you're scoring more than 11, but I doubt that we will be able to put up such impressive numbers when Chicago comes to town.

The Man of the Game is Manny Ramirez who went 2 for 3 with a homer, a pair of walks, 3 RBI, and 3 Runs scored. No-one's noticed, but he's gotten his average up to .288. Could he possibly the American League MVP?

The Yankees, meanwhile, are back into a struggling phase. They have been a very streaky team this year. We're now 5.5 up on them with 49 games to go. They also found out that Pavano is out for at least 6 more weeks. This picture pretty much sums up their series with Chicago and will also silence anyone on any other blog saying that Yankee fans are smarter than Red Sox fans:


Should John Kerry be embrassed that Barbara Bush threw just as far as he did?

She probably knows a few of the player's names too.