Monday, March 01, 2010


I had a feeling during the 3rd period. A good, warm, comforting feeling. As Canada hit the post twice in the opening minute, as Sidney Crosby bungled a free and clear breakaway, I felt like the US was being helped, Angels in the Outfield style. Then Zach Parise seemed to confirm this feeling, tapping in a rebound to tie the game with 24 seconds left.

But reality set in. The US had expended all their fuel in a desperate 3rd period, and had nothing left in the tank for overtime. Sidney Crosby got the goal, and will get the glory, but it was only a matter of time before some Canadian beat Ryan Miller, who was as exhausted and spent as Brian Rafalski, and Ryan Suter. I'm having trouble finding a box score with Time On Ice listed, but Raflaski and Suter easily contributed 30 minutes in this game.

As I said, Crosby will get the glory. He has such a boring, vacant personality. He makes Bill Belichick look like Chad Ochocinco. He should really do volunteer work at insomnia clinics and help those people get to sleep.

He's so individually overrated in what is a consummate team sport. And how much do our Northerly neighbors wash his balls? If he were caught raping ducks, the Canadian branches of PETA would laud him as an animal lover. Canadian history books would record him as a civil rights leader who pioneered inter-species unions.

Not to take away from Canada, who won this Gold Medal fair and square, but they nearly lost to Switzerland. They were 1-1 against the US. If not for their 7-3 toppling of Russia, the luster from their Gold Medal would really diminish. And they executed all of this mediocrity on their home soil, on a North American sized rink.

So I guess what I'm saying is that Canada barely limped away with what they were supposed to leisurely stroll away with. They needed overtime to beat a country that features hockey as its 4th sport at best. But if I were Canadian, I'd probably be celebrating it too. What else is there to celebrate up there? 3 more months of winter?

Now to the game. The US shot itself in the foot a few times. That's to be expected from such a young team, in such a big game. The first Canadian goal came from a silly Erik Johnson giveaway in front of Ryan Miller's net. And then there were the countless Offsides calls that stopped US rushes in their tracks.

But there's a great deal to look forward to in 2014. Patrick Kane is 22. Ryan Kesler is 25. Ryan Suter is 25. Zach Parise is 25. Bobby Ryan is 22. Phil Kessel is a douche. The US finished 8th in the 2006 Olympics. They've won Silver in 2010. And they'll once again contend for Gold in '14.