Thursday, December 23, 2010

F-E-E-T FEET FEET FEET


In case you haven't heard, there's been some foot fetish videos unearthed, that star a woman who looks remarkably like Rex Ryan's wife. And they include the voice of a man, sounding similar to Ryan, remarking how beautiful the woman's feet are, even asking to smell them.

I haven't seen the video, and I don't really want to. To me, the most devastating proof that Rexy's involved is his response to questions over the videos:

"It's a personal matter."

Wow! Has Rex Ryan ever answered a questions as if he were an adult? This is Mr. Reality TV. He's not denying it. He's not saying "it's a prank." And we're still waiting to hear his special teams coach accuse Bill Belichick of having a foot fetish.

This is just a funny story to me. And it's kind of stupid. Why, while you're a coordinator for an NFL team, are you and your wife posting weird feet videos on the internet?

The opportunity for humor and bad puns is endless. They stretch for miles and miles (5,280 feet). Some examples:

Rex Ryan's favorite goddamned snack is fruit by the foot.



Some people ask Dr. Ruth for sex advice, Rex goes to Dr. Scholl's.

COLLEGE BOWL PICKS/PREVIEWS: PART 3*

It's almost Christmas. That means a nice mishmash between obscure bowls, and those middle class bowls that actually have history and meaning. Here are the previews for three of those upcoming Bowls.

Sunday - 8:00 PM - ESPN
Little Caesars Bowl - Detroit, MI
Florida Int'l Golden Panthers vs. Toledo Rockets
Toledo has a slightly more impressive record, and they're playing in the heart of MAC-country. I'm picking Toledo. I can't find a picture of a hot Toledo girl, so here's William Shatner singing "Rocketman."



Monday - 5:00 PM - ESPN2
AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl - Shreveport, LA
Air Force Falcons vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
If you hate the forward pass, this game is for you. Air Force was 117th in passing this year, Tech was 119th. Conversely, Air Force was 2nd in rushing (317.9 yards per game), and Tech was 1st (327 per game). So this will be like watching football in 1890. I'm picking Air Force.

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Tuesday - 6:30 PM - ESPN
Champs Sports Bowl
#22 West Virginia Mountaineers vs. NC State Wolfpack
The first bowl game between BCS conferences is a nice matchup. WVU nearly won the Big East, and NCSU vied for the ACC Atlantic title. Don't expect many points, and expect WVU and the #2 defense in the country to propel the Mountaineers to victory.



Tuesday - 10:00 PM - ESPN
Insight Bowl - Phoenix, AZ
#12 Missouri Tigers vs. Iowa Hawkeyes
Iowa stumbled down the stretch, and struggled mightily against good teams. Missouri, on the other hand, held their own. They even beat Oklahoma. I'll take Mizzou.



More picks after the Holiday and the weekend. Merry Christmas!