Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Ochocinco Signs With Dolphins

Normally, if an ex-Patriot signed with a divisional rival, I'd be slightly concerned that the player in question might pass on some intelligence about the workings of their former team. Such information exchange is customary when players find themselves facing their former employer.

However, with Ochocinco, I don't think we need to worry about him giving the Dolphins the Patriots' playbook.

The Dolphins are short on receivers, so acquiring Ochinco makes sense. He's not young anymore, but he's still talented, and still willing to work his ass off. Effort was never a question in Foxborough, just comprehension. And if the Dolphins can teach an old dog old tricks, then this will work out for them. The problem with Ochocinco was teaching him new tricks.

And good luck to him. Obviously I don't want him to do too well against the Pats, but it's impossible to not like the guy and hope he does well. Especially against the Jets.

Patriots play the Dolphins on December 2nd in Miami, and host the Dolphins December 30th.

Massachusetts Town Bans Profanity in Public

Middleborough, MA has concocted a law that would fine people $20 for using obscene language in public. Use of such language had once been a criminal offense in the town, but obviously the hassle and expense of giving someone a trial over swearing made it a law that was never enforced. Now police can simply issue someone a $20 ticket for swearing in public.

This is fucking bullshit. And there are no other words to describe it. In this country, you're free to say whatever you want in public. Even if it makes people uncomfortable.

Personally, I try to watch my mouth in public. And I never swear at work, or when children are present. But the idea that I might be fined $20 if I say something like "Kobe Bryant is a fucking scumbag," really pisses me off. What also pisses me off is that cops in Middleboro will have discretion over what is considered obscene and what isn't. So I might not even be able to say "What pisses me off..." I think giving police more power over citizen's day-to-day lives is a terrific idea. And so did the British in 1775.

I think people who swear loudly in public are jerks. But it's their right to say what they want. So long as they're not threatening people, they should be left alone. Making someone uncomfortable is not a threat. I'd rather make it legal to slap teenagers for being punks than for it to be illegal to swear.

The town of Middleborough (who still haven't figured out how to spell their town's name in 343 years) believes this law will put a stop to young people swearing in public. That's apparently become an epidemic in this town. And these kids might stop swearing because of this law. And I'm sure none of them engage in more seriously harmful practices like doing drugs, binge drinking, having unprotected sex, or playing lacrosse. I'm sure swearing is the darkest vice these Middleboro kids are involved in.

But hey, if Middleborough wants to try to be Pleasantville, go right ahead, fuckers. I've never stopped in your town before, I've only driven by it on 495. And now I'll never stop there for fear of getting a bullshit ticket because I said H-E-double hockey sticks.

Jiminy Cricket, way to tell our Founding Fathers to go darn themselves, you gosh darn scalawags!

Euro 2012 Update

France 1, England 1
I didn't catch any of this game, and I'm glad I didn't. England are typically overrated and a bunch of spoiled brats. As much as I dislike France, I'm glad they deprived England of any glory. Both these teams can go to hell.

Ukraine 2, Sweden 1

I think Sweden (and many people) thought that Kramer's assessment of the Ukraine was true, at least in a soccer sense. And the Ukraine took our board and smashed it. Any country that requires a "the" before its name shouldn't be taken lightly (examples: THE United States, THE People's Republic of China, THE Soviet Union).

Today's games:
Greece vs. Czech Republic
This game will likely determine who is the second team to advance from Group A.

Russia vs. Poland
The Russians were impressive in their first game. The Poles will have the crowd on their side. This is a massive game for both these teams. I see some favorable officiating and a draw.

Jerry Sandusky Hired the Worst Lawyer Ever

I think you can tell a lot about an accused criminal based on the attorney they choose to defend them. If it's Johnny Cochrane, they're probably guilty. If it's some no-name, hard-working lawyer, there's a good chance they're not guilty. If it's a sex crime case and they hire a pervert, it's a good chance they're guilty because they have no idea that some sexual acts are wrong and perverse.

Two typical traits of pedophiles are that they don't appreciate that what they're doing is harmful (they see it as playing), and they tend to gravitate toward people with similar sexual scruples (or lack of scruples).

That's a picture of Joe Amendola, Jerry Sandusky's defense attorney. The woman is Amendola's ex-wife. She was named Mary Iavisile. She worked in Amendola's law office when she was 16. Amendola represented her in an emancipation trial, which is the legal separation of a child from their parents. Amendola then got her pregnant, then married her, then divorced her.

This is the man representing Sandusky. He not only had sex with an employee, he had sex with a 16 year old girl. As I said, pedophiles tend to gravitate toward people with similar sexual scruples, or lack thereof.

Amendola is also a moron. He's the one who arranged Sandusky's interview with Bob Costas. That interview pretty much convicted Sandusky in the public's eye. Amendola had his creepy client face an expert interviewer. Because in Amendola's own immoral mind, Sandusky hasn't done anything wrong. But this is what the public saw:

And as Sandusky's trial has started, Amendola's incompetency has continued. If I weren't so convinced Sandusky is guilty, I'd feel bad that he has such a moronic lawyer defending him. Amendola went after one of Sandusky's accusers, trying to throw some curveball questions to him, but all that did was give the accuser a chance to hit some homeruns off Amendola. Here's an example:

Amendola said that Sandusky treated a man known as Victim #4 "like a son."

Victim #4 responded "He treated me like a son in front of other people. Aside from that he treated me as his girlfriend."

Sandusky even wrote letters to Victim #4. And Amendola, fully displaying his obliviousness to the immorality of pedophilia, asked Victim #4 to read them out loud. To Amendola, these letters portray Sandusky as a mentor and a father figure. But they sound like the emotional ranting of a scorned lover.

"I know that I have made several mistakes. However, I hope that I will be able to say that I cared. There has been love in my heart. My wish is that you would call..."

"I write because of the churning of my own stomach when you don't care. I write because I still hope that there will be meaningful time when we know each other."

These are not the words of a concerned mentor. They're the words of a heartbroken old man in love with a 16 year old boy who was realizing that something was wrong with the way Sandusky had been touching him.

Sandusky doesn't seem innocent at all. Neither does Penn State University, who confirmed a story that high-ranking school officials decided not to alert authorities because they wanted to be "humane" to Sandusky. Apparently, the word "humane" has a different meaning in State College, PA because to me it doesn't seem humane to subject vulnerable young boys to the sexual advances of a dirty old man.

Anyway, good for Victim #4. Not many victims of this kind of abuse have the opportunity to face their attacker. Not many get a chance to help Justice be done.

Kings Win the Cup

The LA Kings lost as many games in this series (2) as they'd lost in their entire playoff run leading up to the Finals. The 8th seeded Kings finished the playoffs 16-4 in one of the most astounding and impressive Stanley Cup Championship runs in recent memory.

The Kings winning is good for the NHL. It's a big market, it's a first time Champion, and American goalie Jonathan Quick won the Conn Smythe. That's back-to-back Conn Smythe wins for Americans (first time that's ever happened). It was also good for the NHL that the Devils made things interesting by winning a pair of games. And it was good that the Kings wrapped up the series before the NBA Finals started and garnered most of the country's attention.

This game turned on a reckless boarding penalty. Which is ironic, considering how significant a concern head injuries have been to the NHL recently.

Steve Bernier was given a 5 minute major for boarding Rob Scuderi. Bernier made no attempt to play the puck, Scuderi was in a vulnerable position with his body facing the boards. Bernier went in full-speed and drove Scuderi's skull into the glass. It was a correct call. Bernier got a 5 minute major and was kicked out the game. On the ensuing 5 minute power play, the Kings scored 3 times.

The Devils were upset because an earlier check from behind wasn't called against the Kings. But that hit was different from Bernier's boarding of Scuderi. Very different.

The Devils made this series interesting because of their physical play. But they went beyond the rules in Game 6, and it cost them. Brodeur was repeatedly beaten glove-side high, and Dustin Brown, Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, and Drew Doughty made the Devils pay.

In the last three years, the Stanley Cup has been won by Los Angeles, Boston, and Chicago. It's not a bad thing that big market teams are doing well in the playoffs. It's a good thing. Although a Canadian team winning wouldn't be so bad either. So long as it's not Montreal, Toronto, or Vancouver.

Congratulations to the Kings.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Sox Forget to Bring Their Talent to South Beach

The best news out of this game is that Mark Melancon's scoreless 8th inning brought his ERA down to 33.00. Beckett labored in the 1st, and the offense did nothing. This was a team loss. Apart from Scott Podsednik, everyone in a Sox uniform can share responsibility for this defeat. Which is the 7th loss in 8 games for the streaky Sox.

The Sox managed 5 hits. Podsednik had 3 of them. Pedroia had a double and Ryan Sweeney hit a single. And of course, none of these hits came with runners in scoring position. That's exactly what the opposition would be expecting.

The Sox offense has been streaky this season because it's been supported by secondary players. Guys like Mike Aviles, Cody Ross, and Daniel Nava have taken up the slack as Youkilis and Gonzalez have struggled, and Ellsbury has been injured. But now reality is starting to sink in. Aviles is mired in a 2 for 17 slump (.118). He's hitting .228 in June. He was very productive in April with 5 homers and 17 RBI. He was solid in May with 15 RBI. But in June he's slowed to a crawl.

It's hard to believe that the Sox will continue to perform this poorly on offense. But I'm sure by the time they heat up, the starting pitchers will start to struggle. Then Aceves will blow a few saves. There might be a few overlapping games when starters, relievers, and hitters are all clicking. But for the most part, this team is seemingly built in layers of mediocrity to prevent any lengthy stretch of consistent play.

The 1st inning summed up the Sox' shortcomings very nicely. They had 2 on with 0 outs, and couldn't take advantage of the opportunity. Then in the bottom of the inning, the Marlins scored a run thanks to a leadoff triple. Then they did some damage with 2 outs. They took full advantage of Gonzalez's poor fielding and inexperienced throwing in right-field. They wound up scoring 3 runs in the inning. And that was more than enough.

As a sidenote, how long until John Henry and Larry Lucchino hire some dancers to shake their stuff on the Green Monster? Or maybe install an aquarium between the bullpens at Fenway? How about a petting zoo on Yawkey Way?

Buchholz faces Mark Buehrle tonight. Buehrle has struggled lately, and some of the Sox have hit well off him in the past (Ortiz has a .345 average against him, Pedroia's is .375, Podsednik's is .364), so maybe they can score a few runs.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo