Friday, May 14, 2010


You have to appreciate the zealous enthusiasm Canadiens fans show for their team. But they sometimes go too far beyond sports fandom and it just rubs me the wrong way. It pisses me off. So whoever wins tonight's Game 7, either the Bruins or Flyers, I hope they go on to throttle the Canadiens. I hope that those cheese-eating, wine-swilling sons of surrender monkeys up North get swept and embarrassed. Twatreal fans are a bunch of babies and pussies, just like their teams.

Wednesday, they had 21,000 fans packed into the Bell Centre to watch the Canadiens play in Pittsburgh. That's pretty cool. Then they all took the streets and celebrated. Still fine, but also pushing it a bit. It's the 2nd goddamned round of the playoffs. Then they started rioting, and looting.

Canadiens fans and Quebecois identify with their team as a sort of National Representation. Quebec isn't technically its own country, but its inhabitants (Les Habitants) are kind of like Southerners in the US. They're part of our country, but they're also part of their own sub-country. A nation within a country, like the Welsh in Great Britain, or Bavarians in Germany, Catalan in Spain, and so on. So they feel like the Canadiens represent them as a people. Hence the nickname: Habs (which is also what the descendants of French settlers are called). And that's all well and good. But what do they do to celebrate their Provincial Team's victory, what should be a glorification of French Canada? Attack and steal from the businesses of other French Canadians!

Fuck that shit!

Imagine if USA won the World Cup, and us Americans celebrated by burning the flag.

And then there's how those classy Montreal fans treat our national anthem...

Compared to how we here in Boston treat the Canadian anthem...

Even Philadelphians, who boo everything, don't disrespect their anthem...

All I can really say to these Quebecois cunts is to just get over yourselves. You riot after winning a 2nd round series. You riot after winning a 1st round series in 2008. You wanted to murder Kyle McClaren for what he did to Richard Zednick. I remember Montreal papers fabricating bullshit stories about Zednick being comatose and/or having a broken vertebra after that hit.

And why is it that playoff games played on Canadian ice see about 800% more debris throwing? A bad call goes against the Blackhawks, and people boo. But against the Flames, and beer cups, hot dog wrappers, all sorts of rubbish gets tossed onto the ice.

But most Canadians are tolerable. It's just the French Canadians, specifically the ones that wear a CH on their chest.

So let's say tonight the Flyers are up 4-1 with 2 minutes remaining, I hope the Garden starts chanting "Beat the Habs!" As much as I hate the Flyers, Philadelphia, Philadelphians, really the entire Commonwealth of Pennsylvania; I don't wish them any particular physical harm, just emotional misery. Montreal and their Canadiens, on the other hand... Well, let's just say I would love to see Montreal destroyed by a blizzard, or see the St. Lawrence River flood, then freeze over, encasing all the Qebecois and Habitants in an icy mass grave, sort of like the Egyptians in The Ten Commandments, but colder.


Cleveland was never really in this game. They hung around in the neighborhood for awhile, but slowly slipped away. It's hard to blame LeBron, who scored 27 points, had 19 boards, and 10 assists. If you need a guy to score 40 points per game to win, you just don't have a good team.

And that's what this came down to. The Celtics have a better T-E-A-M, team. The Celtics are like the Beatles, and the Cavs are like the Wings. Sure, Paul McCartney's a genius, and the rest of the Wings were decent, but that's not going to sell 1.2 billion albums for ya. It takes a great team to win a title, and the Cavaliers simply aren't a great team. They have one insanely great player, with decent teammates, but that's insufficient.

I'll admit to being wrong. All season long, I doubted, even mocked those that suggested the Celtics would "turn it on in the playoffs." They've done exactly that, and it's gone very well for them so far.

Back to Game 6, Rondo led the way for the green with 21 points and 12 assists. All series, he's presented a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't proposition for the Cavs. Focus on him, and the Big Three make you pay. Ignore him, and he'll make you pay. Play him tight and he'll pass. Play him loose, and he'll drive to the hole.

KG had 22, Pierce had 13, Perkins had 6. Ray Allen only had 8, and was 0/5 from beyond the arc. But that's the whole point of being a TEAM. Ray Allen had a bad game, offensively, Pierce was so-so, but Rondo and KG made up for it. As did the bench. Sheed had 13 and Tony Allen summoned 10 points of offense. There was no let up for the Cavs.

And now it's Orlando, the team that eliminated the Celtics last year. I remain less than optimistic, but you have to concede that for the C's to advance this far is an achievement of note.

And you know when you drive by some homeless people, and you sort of thank some higher power for all that you have. Well as we pass by Cleveland, let's be thankful for all we have. Even the Bruins. Because to be a Cleveland fan just sucks.

I believe the Eastern Conference Finals start Sunday afternoon.