Sunday, January 20, 2013

Patriots-Ravens Drinking Game: AFC Championship Edition

Here we are, again. Another AFC Championship. We're spoiled here in New England. Anyway, here is your AFC Championship drinking game...

Anytime a commentator says...
"AFC" = take 1 drink from a beer
"Bulletin board material" = 1 drink
"Revenge" or "vengeance" or anything similar = 1 drink
"Rematch" = 2 drinks
"Belichick era" = 1 drink
"Brady era"= 1 drink
"Ray Lewis" = 1 drink
"Retirement" = 1 drink
"Fired up" = 1 shot
"Double overtime" = 2 drinks
"Tuck rule" = 1 drink
"Aqib Talib" = 1 drink

Anytime this is on screen...
Lamar Hunt Trophy = 1 drink
Highlights from Week 3 = drink until the highlight reel is over
Highlights from 2011 AFC title game = drink until the reel is over
Highlights from 2009 AFC Divisional playoff game = drink until the reel is over
Rob Gronkowski getting injured = 1 drink
Gronkowski in person = 1 drink
Ray Lewis = 1 drink
Ray Lewis yelling = 1 drink, 1 shot
Ray Lewis crying = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Graphic with Brady and other great QBs (Montana, Bradshaw, Unitas, etc.) = drink for 12 seconds
Graphic with Belichick and other great coaches (Shula, Landry, Lombardi, etc.) = drink for as long as the graphic is up there
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking

Anytime this happens...
Any discussion of Joe Flacco not being properly respected = drink for 5 seconds, then each time such conversation occurs, add 5 seconds to the drinking, so drink for 5, then 10, then 15 seconds, and so on.
Joe Flacco throws a pick = drink for 5 seconds, then 5 more the 2nd time (so 5, then 10, then 15, and so on)
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink, bonus points for eggnog or White Russians
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots allow a 20+ yard pass play = drink for 20 seconds
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of poultry
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return

If this happens...
Patriots win = drink a glass of champagne
Ravens win = drink grain alcohol and take Ambien until you are blind or asleep

Enjoy the game, and please get lubed up responsibly!