Showing posts with label Ray Lewis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ray Lewis. Show all posts

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Ray Lewis calls out Tom Brady's toughness, even though Brady played with no fear against murderer Ray Lewis


In Saturday night's Patriots-Texans game, Jadeveon Clowney was not penalized for what seemed to be a late hit on Pats' QB Tom Brady. Clowney began the tackle shortly after Brady released the football, but probably should have been called for roughing the passer as the tackle extended long after the ball was out, with Clowney eventually dragging Brady to the ground.

Brady made little effort to hide his feelings, yelling at the refs with such anger that he fell to the ground again.

And maybe the forceful lobbying worked, as later a roughing call was finally called on Clowney. Be that as it may, Brady has a well-deserved reputation as someone who gets angry about calls and non-calls failing to go his way. He's seen as a complainer, because that's what he does to refs on the field.

And so what? Seriously, how is this a criticism? The NFL has bad, inconsistent officiating. Tom Brady gets angry at bad officiating. Fans at home who yell at their TV about bad officiating, complain about Tom Brady yelling at the ref about bad officiating.

It doesn't make sense.

What baffles me most of all is that by yelling and complaining, it somehow makes him less tough. He's seen as a whiner and a baby. Ray Lewis, for example, Tweeted this last night.



As if Brady doesn't know what football is, what the game entails, and that hard contact is part of the game.

It's funny for Ray Lewis to call out a player for lack of toughness, when on the football field Brady has been fearless, even when facing people who have participated in murder. Such as Ray Lewis.



If you don't like the complaining to refs, fine. That's kind of silly because NFL officiating is horribly inconsistent and overly obsessed with defining things that can't be defined while simultaneously ignoring the spirit and intention of the rules.

But Brady's complaining has nothing to do with toughness or lack thereof.

Photo Credit: USATSI

Friday, January 16, 2015

Ray Lewis was right about NFL rules

Ray Lewis made a great point about the NFL and its over-reliance on rules. But his point was lost because he pissed Patriots fans off.

There are two topics that are guaranteed to piss off New England fans: SpyGate and the Tuck Rule. Start talking about these, even in passing, even as a joke, and Pats fans will flip out.

And I don't know why. I'm a Patriots fan, and I don't care about either topic. In 2001 the rules gave the Pats a break and bailed Brady out of a game-losing fumble. So what? The Raiders still allowed the game-tying and game-winning drives. The Patriots still beat the Steelers then the Rams. And yes, the Patriots filmed opposing signals from the sideline. So? If you're dumb enough to think doing so made any significant difference, then you should be mad at your own teams for either not noticing it and blowing the whistle on the Pats, or for not doing it themselves.

We in New England normally don't care what Ray Lewis says or thinks, it's just funny to hear him talk. Just imagine him dressed as Abraham Lincoln, with a beard and a stovepipe hat, giving the Gettysburg Address...

Four score, and SEVEN years ago, OUR fathers... Now we are engaged, in a GREAT Civil War... this nation UNDER GOD, shall have a new birth, of freedom. And that government of the PEOPLE, by the PEOPLE, for the PEOPLE, shall not perish, FROM THE EARTH!!!! WHO'S HOUSE IS THIS? OUR HOUSE!!! WHO'S HOUSE IS THIS? OUR HOUSE!!! 

This is Robert E. Lee we're talking about, it's a chess game!

We all have a good laugh when Ray gets going.

But when he mentioned the Tuck Rule earlier this week, people in New England lost their minds.

In his recent remarks about how overly litigious the NFL has become, Lewis made the mistake of dwelling on the Tuck Rule. He argued that Tom Brady and the Patriots would be unknowns without the obscure rule. And he chose to do it the week after his former team was eliminated by the Pats. So his message was lost. Obscured, or obstructed, if you will.

And that's unfortunate because it was a good point. Rules were once meant to govern and control the game, now they define them. Rules used to focus on the clock and on formations and on player conduct and safety. People have been throwing and catching footballs long before rules existed to define when throws begin and end, when catches begin and end. But now the elemental parts of the game are being defined by rules. The basic parts that come together to make a game - throws, catches, tackles - are becoming complicated sequences of events. Dissecting a catch is like dissecting the Magic Bullet Theory in JFK. (fun fact: Arlen Specter, a nemesis of the NFL, came up with the Magic Bullet Theory when he was a junior prosecutor)

Throwing and catching are intuitive things. The NFL has turned them into complex, difficult to understand, even more difficult to explain concepts.

Football is something you're supposed to enjoy while relaxed, maybe even while having a few beers. You shouldn't need a philosopher and a lawyer in order to explain what a catch is to fans.

The Tuck Rule was a bad rule. It tried (and failed) to define what a throw is. But we all know what a throw is. We don't need rules to define it.

We don't need rules to define catches either. Rules for in and out of bounds are fine. Rules about clocks and formations are fine (although, not to John Harbaugh). Rules to define basic things that human beings have been doing for thousands of years? No, we don't need those.

So Ray Lewis was right.

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Super Bowl Drinking Game

It's finally here. The biggest game of the year. And here's a drinking game you can play while trying to explain pass interference to all the non-football fans in the room, and trying to sort through all the squares you have in your degenerate gambler pools. So drink up and enjoy the game.

Anytime you hear the words...
"Harbaugh" = 1 drink from a beer
"Brothers" = 1 drink
"Harbowl" = 1 drink
"Big Easy" = 1 shot of bourbon
"180 countries" = 1 drink
"Ray Lewis" = 1 sip of beer (any more than a sip and you'd probably die of alcohol poisoning)
"Ray Lewis" and "murder" in the same sentence = 52 whole beers, because it won't happen
"Antler" = 1 drink
"Deer" = 1 drink
"Controversy" = 1 drink
"Retire" = 1 drink
"Miami" = 1 drink (lots of players from the U in this game)
"Playmaker" or anything about how exciting Colin Kaepernick is = drink for 7 seconds
"Chris Culliver" = 1 drink
"Apology" = 1 drink
"Media day" = 1 drink
"Art Modell" = 1 drink
"Baltimore Colts" = 1 drink
"Cleveland Browns" = 1 drink


Anytime this is on screen...
Roman numerals = 1 drink per numeral
Anything New Orleansy = 1 drink
A bllimp shot of a dome = 1 drink
Alex Smith on a bench = 1 drink
Alex Smith wearing a baseball hat = 1 drink
Jerry Rice's stats = 1 drink
Joe Montana = drink for 16 seconds
Steve Young = drink for 8 seconds
Brian Billick = 1 drink
Ray Lewis screaming = 1 drink
Ray Lewis crying = 1 drink
Ray Lewis praying = 1 drink
A Bible verse = drink for as many seconds as the chapter (so John 3:16 would be 3 seconds)
A promo for what's on after the Super Bowl = 1 drink
Roger Goodell = 1 drink
Jonathan Vilma = 1 drink
Goodell and Vilma hugging = drink a quart of tequila, because it won't happen


Anytime this happens...
It's mentioned that the 49ers let the Ravens use their practice facility = 1 drink
Colin Kaepernick runs for a 1st down = 1 drink
Kaepernick kisses his arms = 1 drink
A Raven leads with their helmet = 1 drink
Bernard Pollard injures someone = 1 drink
Bernard Pollard injures a Patriot = 1 drink (it could happen)
Beyonce does that authoratitive walk with her hips = 1 drink
You actually watch the halftime because of Beyonce = 1 whole beer per song
You pretend to accidentally change the channel to Puppy Bowl = 1 drink
Boring car commercial = 1 drink
Commercial that tries really hard to be funny but isn't at all = 1 drink
You hold in a piss = 1 drink per play (or commercial) that you hold it in
You temporarily root against the team you actually want to win so you can win a square = 1 drink

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Hunter S. Thompson Would Have Enjoyed the 2012 NFL Season

I miss Hunter S. Thompson. I miss his writing. He decided to shoot himself in 2005, at the age of 67, in his fortified compound in Colorado. And I respect that decision. But I think he missed one of the more engaging, ugly, and intriguing NFL seasons in recent memory.

What would Hunter have to say about replacement officials? A devoted gambler, the tremendous influence that these amateur flag-throwers had on games might have driven him insane. Or thrilled him, adding even more randomness and chaos to an already difficult to predict maelstrom of variables.


Thompson lived in San Francisco for a period, and was once addicted to betting on the 49ers. He probably would have enjoyed the rise of Colin Kaepernick to prominence. An exciting, playmaking, tattooed star taking over as frontman of an already successful band that hadn't quite broken through to super-stardom. Kaepernick took over from a competent, but predictable lead singer. Alex Smith was the guy that sounds okay in a small club. Kaepernick is a rock star that can command an entire stadium.

The rampant PED usage by NFL players probably wouldn't have bothered Hunter. He used plenty of substances himself. One of his more famous quotes is: "I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." If LSD and ether helped Hunter write (or at least influenced the experiences he had that he would eventually write about), I don't think he would mind players who use adderall or deer antler to play football. Football is already an unnatural act, and football players are already freaks of nature. Why not use chemicals to augment that freakishness?

He might mind the concussions. Back in the early 2000s he bemoaned the number of QB injuries there were in the NFL. It was an epidemic. And now QB injuries are fewer, but repeated skull bashing has created a generation of NFL players whose brain tissues have been reduced to ground hamburger. I think he'd have a problem with that. From his writings, such as a piece he wrote after Dale Earnhardt died, he seemed to have an ethical line that sports should not cross. Violence was fine, so long as there was no blood, no permanent injury. And once that line was crossed, sport became disgusting. Stadiums became Roman Colosseums, fans became voyeuristic sadists, and games became crimes.


Then there's the New York Jets: an endless source of writing material. They'd be pitiable if they didn't try so hard to be unlikable. I think Thompson would thoroughly enjoy the dysfunction of the Jets. Everything from butt fumbles to Tim Tebow to Rex Ryan's tattoos to snacks. The Jets are almost too cartoonish to write about, actually. It's like doing a thesis paper on the shortcomings of Wile E. Coyote's bird-catching tactics, it's too easy to point out the mistakes.


And finally there's the rise of the rookie QB. I think Thompson would have welcomed this fresh blood infused into the League. A League which has become somewhat repetitive  On Sunday the Super Bowl will have no Tom Brady, no Peyton Manning, and no Ben Roethlisberger for the first time since 2002. Think about that. A decade of football with 1 of 3 QBs always making an appearance in the Big Game. That's tedious. New faces are needed on the game's biggest stage.

RG3 might be Thompson's favorite. He would have reveled in the absurdity of the accusations that Griffin isn't Black enough. He would have loved to see football thrive in the Capital. He would have loved to see Daniel Snyder finally learn that you can't buy success, you have to cultivate, and harvest it from the Draft.

The 2012 NFL season would have offered Hunter S. Thompson a feast of intrigue and barbarity. The greed, the stupidity, the rises, the falls, the inspirational, and the abhorrent.

I'm not sure if there's a Heaven. But if there is, I think Hunter S. Thompson will be up there on Sunday, watching the game, making prop bets with Louis Pasteur, mocking the halftime show with Leo Tolstoy, and going shot for shot with Teddy Roosevelt.

Mahalo, Hunter. You're immortal.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Patriots-Ravens Drinking Game: AFC Championship Edition

Here we are, again. Another AFC Championship. We're spoiled here in New England. Anyway, here is your AFC Championship drinking game...

Anytime a commentator says...
"AFC" = take 1 drink from a beer
"Bulletin board material" = 1 drink
"Revenge" or "vengeance" or anything similar = 1 drink
"Rematch" = 2 drinks
"Belichick era" = 1 drink
"Brady era"= 1 drink
"Ray Lewis" = 1 drink
"Retirement" = 1 drink
"Fired up" = 1 shot
"Double overtime" = 2 drinks
"Tuck rule" = 1 drink
"Aqib Talib" = 1 drink


Anytime this is on screen...
Lamar Hunt Trophy = 1 drink
Highlights from Week 3 = drink until the highlight reel is over
Highlights from 2011 AFC title game = drink until the reel is over
Highlights from 2009 AFC Divisional playoff game = drink until the reel is over
Rob Gronkowski getting injured = 1 drink
Gronkowski in person = 1 drink
Ray Lewis = 1 drink
Ray Lewis yelling = 1 drink, 1 shot
Ray Lewis crying = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Graphic with Brady and other great QBs (Montana, Bradshaw, Unitas, etc.) = drink for 12 seconds
Graphic with Belichick and other great coaches (Shula, Landry, Lombardi, etc.) = drink for as long as the graphic is up there
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Any discussion of Joe Flacco not being properly respected = drink for 5 seconds, then each time such conversation occurs, add 5 seconds to the drinking, so drink for 5, then 10, then 15 seconds, and so on.
Joe Flacco throws a pick = drink for 5 seconds, then 5 more the 2nd time (so 5, then 10, then 15, and so on)
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink, bonus points for eggnog or White Russians
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots allow a 20+ yard pass play = drink for 20 seconds
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of poultry
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return


If this happens...
Patriots win = drink a glass of champagne
Ravens win = drink grain alcohol and take Ambien until you are blind or asleep


Enjoy the game, and please get lubed up responsibly!