Ray Lewis calls out Tom Brady's toughness, even though Brady played with no fear against murderer Ray Lewis

In Saturday night's Patriots-Texans game, Jadeveon Clowney was not penalized for what seemed to be a late hit on Pats' QB Tom Brady. Clowney began the tackle shortly after Brady released the football, but probably should have been called for roughing the passer as the tackle extended long after the ball was out, with Clowney eventually dragging Brady to the ground.

Brady made little effort to hide his feelings, yelling at the refs with such anger that he fell to the ground again.

And maybe the forceful lobbying worked, as later a roughing call was finally called on Clowney. Be that as it may, Brady has a well-deserved reputation as someone who gets angry about calls and non-calls failing to go his way. He's seen as a complainer, because that's what he does to refs on the field.

And so what? Seriously, how is this a criticism? The NFL has bad, inconsistent officiating. Tom Brady gets angry at bad officiating. Fans at home who yell at their TV about bad officiating, complain about Tom Brady yelling at the ref about bad officiating.

It doesn't make sense.

What baffles me most of all is that by yelling and complaining, it somehow makes him less tough. He's seen as a whiner and a baby. Ray Lewis, for example, Tweeted this last night.

It's Called Football Brady

— Ray Lewis (@raylewis) January 15, 2017

As if Brady doesn't know what football is, what the game entails, and that hard contact is part of the game.

It's funny for Ray Lewis to call out a player for lack of toughness, when on the football field Brady has been fearless, even when facing people who have participated in murder. Such as Ray Lewis.

If you don't like the complaining to refs, fine. That's kind of silly because NFL officiating is horribly inconsistent and overly obsessed with defining things that can't be defined while simultaneously ignoring the spirit and intention of the rules.

But Brady's complaining has nothing to do with toughness or lack thereof.

Photo Credit: USATSI

Patriots didn't play crappy game against Texans, but need to improve to beat Steelers or Chiefs

You can't turn the ball over 3 times in a playoff game and expect to win. Unless you're the Patriots and you win by 18, putting up 34 points on the #1 defense in the NFL. Tom Brady, by the way, is now 4-1 in playoff games against #1 NFL defenses. It's amazing how unamazed I am by that tidbit.

The amazing has become the typical for Brady, Belichick, and the Pats.

"Amazing" is not how I would describe the Patriots' performance last night. Brady was off for most of the game (18 for 38, 2 picks). There were times when the O-line couldn't stop the pass rush up the middle. The Pats failed to punch it in from 1st and goal on the 3. And as great as Dion Lewis looked for most of the game, you simply CANNOT fumble a kickoff return. Who does he think he is? Cyrus Jones?

The Patriots can't play 60 minutes like that and expect to beat the Chiefs or Steelers. Those teams probably won't give the ball back 3 times. And those teams will score TDs off turnovers, not field goals.

The Chiefs had the top takeaway/giveaway differential in the NFL at +16. Compare that to the Texans at 26th and a -7 differential. KC only lost the ball 17 times (8th best in NFL). They won't give you the ball back the way Osweiler did last night.

Then there's Pittsburgh, who have a much more dangerous offense than Houston's. Compare Le'Veon Bell to Lamar Miller. Antonio Brown is one of the few WRs out there better than DeAndre Hopkins. And Ben Roethlisberger is just on a different planet compared to Brock Osweiler. Comparing Big Ben to Osweiler is like comparing how great Shaq the basketball player was with how awful Shaq the actor was. And like Osweiler, Shaq the actor was paid a ridiculous amount of money considering the crappy results.

There's room for improvement, but the Pats didn't play a crappy game. The kickoff return TD was the result of excellent blocking and Lewis' agility and outright speed. Edelman seemed to disappear for stretches but finished with 8 catches and 137 yards. Most of the night the O-line protected Brady and gave him plenty of time.

Defensively, the Pats forced 3 turnovers, limited Hopkins to 6 catches and 65 yards, gave up fewer than 300 yards (285), held the Texans on 13 of 16 3rd downs (81.3%), sacked Osweiler 3 times, hit him a few more, and held on 2 of 3 Texans trips into the Red Zone.

I'm optimistic the Pats' offense will perform better. They have no choice. Turn the ball over like that again and the Chiefs or Steelers will make you pay. I also have concerns that some key players like Brady, Blount, Bennett, and Amendola are banged up and it's affecting their usage and/or performance. At least the Pats get an extra day to recover.

And ultimately what matters is that for the 11th time in the Brady/Belichick era and for the 6th year in a row, we're on to the AFC Championship game.

Photo credit: Elise Amendola/AP Photo

Patriots-Texans Drinking Game: Playoff Edition

Saturday night the Patriots host the Texans in t he AFC Divisional round. The annual tradition of Patriots football extending into mid-January continues. Hopefully the Pats aren't too overly confident in this game, but you can go ahead and get as overly confucked up as you want. And the best way to do so is to play this Patriots drinking game:

Everytime a commentator says...
"Divisional" = take 1 drink of beer
"Round" = 1 drink
"Playoffs" = 1 drink
"AFC" = 1 drink
"Home field" = 1 drink
"Seed" = 1 drink
"Gillette" = 1 drink
"Tom" = 1 drink
"Brady" = 1 drink
"Brock" = 1 drink
"DeAndre" = 1 drink
"Vince" = 1 drink
"Malcolm" = 1 drink
"Jones" = 1 drink
"Bill/Will/William(s)" = 1 drink
"Jim" = 1 drink
"Phil" = 1 drink
"CBS" = 1 drink
"Cold" = 1 drink
"Super Bowl" = 1 drink


Anytime this is on screen...
Highlights of the Patriots beating the Texans = drink during the entire clip
Highlights of Tom Brady in the playoffs = drink for entire clip
Super Bowl highlights = drink during entire clip
JJ Watt = finish your beer, do 10 pushups, then post on social media about working out
Rob Gronkowski = finish your beer and Gronk spike it, bonus points if spiking a glass container
Jacoby Brissett = drink for 7 seconds
Josh McDaniels = 1 drink
Dante Scarnecchia = finish your beer
Ernie Adams = finish your beer, 1 shot of liquor
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Kraft talking to someone = drink entire time he's talking
Vince Wilfork in a Patriots uniform = 1 drink, eat 1 slice of pizza
Wilfork on the sideline = 1 drink, 1 shot, eat 1 turkey leg
A star (including in logos, but not on helmets) = 1 drink per star


Anytime this happens...
Brady points out the "mike" = 1 drink, bonus points if drinking a Mike's Hard product (girls only), negative points for guys drinking Mike's
Brady says "Alpha milk" = 1 drink, bonus points if drinking a White Russian
Brady throws to a non-receiver = 1 drink
Brady looks pissed = 1 drink
Julian Edelman thrown to = 1 drink
Edelman makes someone miss = 1 drink
Martellus Bennett runs someone over = 1 drink
LeGarette Blount runs someone over = 1 drink
Blount runs for 10+ yards = 1 shot
Blount runs for 20+ yards = finish your beer
Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink
Stephen Gostkowski misses a FG or PAT = 1 drink, 1 shot
Brock Osweiler makes a great throw = 1 drink
Osweiler makes a terrible throw = 1 drink
DeAndre Hopkins thrown to = 1 drink
Hopkins catches pass = drink for 5 seconds
Hopkins catches a pass for 25+ yards = finish your beer
Hopkins makes an insane catch = whole beer
A team goes no huddle = 1 drink per snap
Kickoff return = drink during entire return
Touchback = 1 drink

So enjoy the game. Get lubed up responsibly. Appoint designated drivers. Be prepared to dial 9-1-1 at any time. And hopefully the Pats will be moving on to KC or Pittsburgh while you're moving on to a stomach pump and liver surgery.

Patriots' Path to the Super Bowl

The Patriots secured the top seed in the AFC playoffs Sunday, ensuring that the road to the Super Bowl goes through New England. But what kind of obstacles will the Patriots face on that road? Who will stand in their path and what kind of challenge will they pose?

Just a sidenote about this year's NFL playoffs... between the Pats, Steelers, Chiefs, Raiders, and Dolphins, you've got tons of great AFC/AFL/NFL history. These teams combine for 16 total Super Bowl wins, or 2/3 of the 24 Super Bowls won by AFC teams. The Steelers, Patriots, Dolphins, and Raiders have won more AFC Championship games (25) than all other teams combined. Think about all the great players, coaches, and teams: the Steel Curtain, the perfect 1972 season, the Black Hole, the loudest stadium, Brady, Bradshaw, Stram, Madden, Marino.

Plus there's the Texans.

Here is a list of what the Patriots will face in each round:

DIVISIONAL ROUND OPPONENTS: Oakland, Houston, or Miami
The Patriots cannot face the #2 seeded Chiefs or #3 seeded Steelers in the Divisional Round, which is good news because these are the two teams I'd least prefer the Patriots to play. If the Raiders still had a healthy Derek Carr I'd include them in that group. But they don't.

So let's start with the Carr-less Raiders. They had a great offense with Carr. They still have plenty of talent on that side of the ball, but in a playoff game against Belichick and the rested Patriots, it's hard to imagine the Raiders posing much of a threat. You never know, though. Over-confidence can be a killer. And if the Raiders make it to the Divisional Round, that means they figured out a way to win, and did so on the road. Albeit against a soft Houston team. But momentum, confidence, and a backup QB with little game film of to study... you just never know.

You would hope the Pats would take the game 100% seriously and do their job.

If it's Patriots vs. Raiders in the Divisional Round, how many times will the phrase "Tuck Rule" be uttered before and during the game? Over/under on that would be 1,000,000.5.

I don't know which team I'd prefer the Patriots to play: Houston or Oakland. There's a strong chance it will be one of these two as I think the Steelers will easily handle the Dolphins. So do you want the team with an injured QB, or the team with the mediocre QB?

The 9-7 Texans were 4-6 outside of their crappy division. One of those losses was a 27-0 blowout at Gillette Stadium against Jacoby Brissett.

Houston averages under 200 yards in the air per game. For every position they're strong at, there are others that they are terribly weak at, quarterback being the most obvious.

The last (and only) time the Texans beat the Patriots was in January 2010. That was the game Wes Welker got hurt in before the playoffs started. The Patriots are 7-1 against Houston all-time, and are in the midst of a 5-game win streak against them.

You can't not be happy if the Pats play the Texans.

If Miami beats the Steelers, then the Patriots play the Dolphins no matter what happens in the 4 vs. 5 game. Miami can sometimes give the Pats trouble, but not so much at Gillette Stadium in the Brady Era. The last time the Dolphins won in Foxboro was in 2008, when Matt Cassel was the Pats' QB. Brady has beaten Miami 10-straight times at Gillette, and is 14-1 against them at home.

But there's something unsettling about playing a team for the third time in a season. Those games can get weird. The Dolphins have seen (twice) how the Patriots can beat them. They can learn and possibly adapt. Third games can be unpredictable, which seems counter-intuitive considering there's already 120 minutes of football played between the two teams.

Over-familiarity and maybe over-confidence can be a recipe for a disappointing loss. And after all, the Pats' win in Miami this past Sunday was a few turnovers away from being very, very interesting. One or two big plays can turn an easy game into a tough challenge.

All 3 of the potential Divisional Round opponents are excellent matchups for the Patriots. There's no top tier QB to worry about. These are teams with multiple and significant flaws. The Raiders and Dolphins have limited playoff experience and the Texans only have playoff losing experience.

So the Divisional Round might be easy on paper. That is certainly not the case for potential AFC title game opponents...

AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME OPPONENTS: Steelers, Chiefs, Raiders, or Texans
The Patriots can't play the Dolphins in this round. It seems unlikely that the Raiders or Texans would get this far, but it's possible, and would be fantastic for the Pats.

What's most likely is that either the Steelers or Chiefs would come to Gillette Stadium.

I think the Steelers will be the team to challenge the Pats for a Super Bowl berth. They have the momentum, riding a 7-game winning streak entering the playoffs. They have the history and experience. They have a Super Bowl winning QB, a receiver who is almost impossible to cover, and one of the best RBs in the NFL.

It's true the Pats beat Pittsburgh on the road in October. And that means a whole lot of nothing. The Steelers were banged up and without Roethlisberger. Meanwhile Rob Gronkowski was healthy. The tables have turned since then. The Steelers have the all their black and yellow Killer Bees at their disposal now: Brown, Bell, and Big Ben.

Their defense isn't as imposing as it used to be. They were 12th in overall defense, 16th in passing defense, 13th in rushing. They were 10th in points allowed. None of this is bad, but it's not what one usually thinks of when one thinks of Pittsburgh.

And 29% of their 7-game win streak was against the Browns. They were 2-3 against playoff teams, They were 5-3 away from Pittsburgh and their best road win was against the Ravens.

So maybe the Chiefs will beat them in Kansas City.

The Chiefs led the NFL with a +16 turnover margin. They protect the ball, and they go after it on defense. Most interceptions, most fumble recoveries.

They don't have a very good offense. And their Red Zone offense isn't impressive so even against the Patriots bend-don't-break defense it will be tough for KC to put up points. Andy Reid is also one of the worst game clock managers I've ever seen. Captain Hook does better with clocks than Reid does.

Either team would be tough. For the sake of continuing a rivalry, I'd prefer the Steelers to come to Foxboro. The Patriots and Steelers are tied for the most AFC Championship game wins at 8 apiece (Denver also has 8). So the winner would claim that honor, and have a chance to add to their franchise's legacy with yet another Super Bowl win.

SUPER BOWL OPPONENTS: Dallas, Atlanta, Seattle, Green Bay, New York, Detroit
There are 2 teams in the AFC playoffs that scare me. There are 4 in the NFC. Thankfully the Pats will only have to play one NFC opponent to win it all. Just a quick thought on each possible opponent:

Dallas: I'd be worried unless Romo is still holding for field goals and extra points

Atlanta: Horrible defense and choking quarterback

Seattle: Championship caliber

Green Bay: Aaron Rodgers is 7-6 in playoff games and 3-5 since winning the Super Bowl

New York: Please, God, no

Detroit: Please, God, yes

PREDICTION:
Patriots play the Raiders in the Divisional Round and win. Then they play the Steelers and win a close game. Then the play the Cowboys in the Super Bowl and win.

Antonio Smith Accuses Patriots of Cheating

After the Houston Texans their 10th straight game, defensive end Antonio Smith indirectly accused the Patriots of somehow knowing something that they shouldn't have been able to know:

"You can tell they changed their scheme in the second half. It's miraculous they changed some things on offense that keyed on what we put on this week to stop what they were doing. They did things they never did all year before. It was a specific thing that was important to what we were going to do today, as to how we were going to call the defense. We'd not ever did it before, and they never changed like that before. It just let me know that something wasn't right.

"Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are among the best at their craft because they work so hard at their craft. But you have to be a descendant of Tones-tradamus (sic) to know what we put in this week to be able to change that fast. I got the only crystal ball in existence. I don't know what it is. Either teams are spying on us or something's going on."

That's supposed to be Nostradamus. Before saying all that, Smith was asked for an example of what the Patriots did:

"I can't tell you an example because it's G-15 classified. It's a defensive thing that we might continue to use... I'm trying to say it without giving it away. When you watch film of the team do something a certain way all the time no matter what team they play - it's been 12 games played and they always did it - and then all of a sudden it's changed? It was pretty clever and pretty suspicious."

I believe "G-15 classified" refers to a scene in Rush Hour.

Smith was asked if the Patriots offense knew what the Texans defense was going to do before they did it:

"I'm saying it seemed like it. You can't never be for sure on anything because I ain't over there in their huddle, in their locker room, but it just felt like it."

It's hard to discuss the validity of Smith's accusations without knowing exactly what he is accusing the Patriots of doing. Nevertheless, this lack of information won't stop people from speculating, and some from concluding, so let's join in the uber-hypothetical fun.

Smith seems to accuse the Pats of knowing something before they could have known it. So that would mean the Pats spied on Houston's practices, or somehow got a tip, or hacked into Wade Philips' GMail account, or planted a bug in Houston's locker room.

It's a weird accusation because the Patriots offense played like crap for half of this game. The adjustments seemed to occur in the third quarter. So did the Patriots get their illicit foreknowledge during halftime? If they knew about Houston's tactics before the game, why wait until halftime to adjust? And if they adjusted to Houston at halftime, what's so alarmingly suspicious about that?

The Texans have been a poor second half team all season. They've had a lead at halftime 5 times this year, and lost EVERY time. They blew three halftime leads in November alone, including a 21-3 lead to the Colts.

At the same time, the Patriots have made some big second half comebacks.

Smith's evidence seems flimsy at best. The Patriots adjusted to something Houston was doing, and hadn't done all season. The Patriots seemed to adjust too quickly than they should have been able to. At least too quickly by Antonio Smith's reckoning. What Houston was doing and how New England adjusted remain a mystery to us.

This won't stop rabid Patriot haters from using this to convince themselves that Belichick cheats and that the continued success of the Patriots is a moral affront to football and to America, and must be stopped at all costs. No matter how many asterisks or worn out SpyGate jokes it takes.

This also probably won't stop the Houston Texans from losing games. Smith comes across as paranoid, emotional, and just tired of losing. I can't say I blame him. Losing 10 in a row, 5 of which you led at halftime, it must wear you down. Then you try something new against a good team, it works for 30 minutes, yet you still lose. You're bound to entertain crazy theories and wild ideas.

Still, there's no crying in football.

Patriots Again Wait Until Halftime to Start Playing

The Patriots continue to dig holes for themselves, then climb out of them and finish on top. Just barely. If not for 106 yards of Stephen Gostkowski field goals, the Patriots would have fallen to 8-4.

Tom Brady's performance was the biggest difference between halves. In the first two quarters he was inaccurate. He wasn't driving the ball, he was tossing it. He lobbed a pass intended for Gronkowski that was a real turkey. It was intercepted by Johnathan Joseph. That led to a Houston field goal.

In the second half Brady found a rhythm. He spread the ball to 8 different receivers, but most of the time he targeted Gronk and Edelman (12 targets each). Amendola and Vereen were his secondary targets (5 and 6 targets, respectively).

Gronkowski's return to the lineup has turned Tom Brady into a different thrower. Gronk can catch anything near him. So many balls that would be uncatchable for other players are catchable for Gronk. NFL officials, are you paying attention?

The impact of Shane Vereen's return has been less obvious, but still important. Almost all of his catches are key plays in the drive. He finally caught his first TD of the season in this game. In 4 games he's caught 23 passes for 183 yards. All other Patriot RBs have combined for 27 catches and 178 yards. Vereen adds another dimension to this offense.

As the offense has taken steps forward, the defense has taken steps back. They're struggling to stop the run, they're struggling on third down, and now they're allowing big plays.

I'll praise the defense for stopping Houston twice in the 4th quarter. Then again, Andre Johnson helped them out with a drop. And these aren't the Broncos or the Saints. These are the Texans. And the Patriots allowed 31 points.

With no Wilfork and no Mayo, the running defense probably won't improve. And I don't know how many times I can endure seeing Dont'a Hightower wandering aimlessly around the field until I snap. Hightower just seems sluggish and casual, like he's playing a post Thanksgiving dinner game of two hand touch with his family.

The offense must continue to produce for this team to win. Sound familiar? One difference between this situation and years past is that this is a much less finesse kind of offense. Gronkowski has always been a beast. Now you add big runners like Blount and Develin. I think Edelman is tough for his size too. This is a physical offense.

The Patriots host the 4-8 Browns next week. They can clinch an AFC East title with a win and a Miami loss/tie.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/David J. Phillip

Patriots Fans Fantasizing About Ed Reed, As if this Were 2008

The Houston Texans have cut Ed Reed. Reed had been critical of Houston's coaching this past week and the Texans have been a tremendous disappointment in general.

And Patriots fans are really excited about the idea of the 8 time All Pro safety suiting up with the Pats.

But let's remember this is 2013, not 2008, as The Hub's Marc Bertrand pointed out this afternoon on Twitter.

Felger talks about Ed Reed like this is 2008.
— Marc Bertrand (@Marc_Bertrand) November 12, 2013

Ed Reed has struggled with injury this season. In Sunday's 27-24 loss to Arizona, he only played 13 of 69 defensive snaps. He has a bad hip, he's not as fast as he used to be. So if you get him you're signing a part-time player.

I still wouldn't mind giving him a shot. Then again if you're going to add him for depth, wouldn't you prefer a guy that can play as many downs as you need and do so effectively?

Reed also has something of a reputation for locker room rebellion. Last year he and Bernard Pollard became disgruntled at the Ravens' practice routines and attempted to "mutiny" against head coach John Harbaugh.

So this isn't a no-brainer. And there is some risk involved for little reward. Of course you can cut him if things don't work out.

If the Pats do sign him, let's not get overly excited about it. And if they don't sign him, let's not get overly upset by it. He's old, he's injured, he has some interesting history. He's not the Ed Reed of 2008.

Other 2008 Pro Bowlers that are available include:
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
Hines Ward
Shawne Merriman
Al Harris
Donald Driver
Torry Holt

Five years ago you'd love to have some of these guys, just like Ed Reed back then. Now all of them are gone. And Ed Reed is close to joining them.

Patriots in Final Four

Chew on these facts for a few moments. Enjoy their taste, let them digest, and fill your stomach with joy...

This is the 7th time in the Brady/Belichick era that the Patriots have made the AFC Championship game. 7 times in 12 years the Patriots have made the NFL's Final Four. And one of those years was 2008, when Brady hardly played a game.

This was Tom Brady's 17th playoff win as a starter. An NFL record.

Over the last 10 years, the Patriots are 100 games above .500 (140-40). So over that span they've averaged 14 wins per season (postseason and regular included), and 10 more wins than losses. Every season. That's absurd.

Now it's time to tone down the optimism and ground ourselves. The Patriots will be facing the Ravens, who beat the Patriots this season. The Pats will be without Rob Gronkowski. And 3 of the Pats' 4 losses this season have come against teams named after birds.

And quite frankly, the Ravens are on a mission. They've won two playoff games already. They are the ONLY team in the NFL to win 2 playoff games. Let that fact sink in for a moment.

Only two teams won road playoff games and Baltimore is one of them. Only one road team won in the Divisional Round, and it was Baltimore. Last year Baltimore came up here in the AFC title game, and now they have a better kicker.

We are spoiled by the elite up here. We expect this team to make the AFC Championship game every year, and they deliver more than 50% of the time. And we expect them to win AFC titles at home. Which they haven't failed to deliver in the reign of Belichick and Brady.

A week from now we may be anticipating yet another Super Bowl. A week from now we may be analyzing a playoff exit, and critiquing players and coaches for mistakes and shortcomings.

But overall, if you take a step back and absorb the last 12 years as a whole, it's absolutely fucking amazing what this team does. Belichick and Brady just win.

Patriots host the Ravens Sunday evening. I can't wait.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Patriots-Texans Drinking Game: Playoff Edition

It's the playoffs, and a rematch of a Drinking Game we had a few weeks ago. But that was dominated by the ever annoying Jon Gruden. So here's a new drinking game.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Foxhole" = 1 drink from a beer
"Bulletin board material" = 1 drink
"Swat" = 1 drink
"SWAT team" = 1 drink from a beer, 1 shot
"Biggest game in Texans history" = drink entire beer
"Belichick era" = 1 drink
"Brady era" = 1 drink


Anytime this is on the screen...
Highlights from Week 14 = drink during highlights
Rob Gronkowski's cast or brace = 1 drink
Iso replay of Aqib Talib covering Andre Johnson = drink during the entire replay
Iso replay of Wes Welker being covered = drink during the entire replay
Wade Phillips = 1 drink
J.J. Watt swatting a ball = 1 drink
Watt sitting on a bench = 1 drink
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Wade Phillips's remarks about Welker are mentioned = 1 drink
Dan Shaughnessy's remarks about the Texans are mentioned = 1 drink
The Texans run the ball on 2nd & 5+ = 1 drink
The Texans go play-action = 1 drink
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink of eggnog or a White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of Texas beef
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return


Get lubed up responsibly.

Minnesota Loves Giving Gifts to Boston

It's the time of year for giving, and that's what the Minnesota Vikings did for the New England Patriots on Sunday. Minnesota's 23-6 thumping of the Houston Texans made it so if the Patriots win next week, they can secure a first-round bye if Houston loses or if Denver loses. Essentially, the Vikings more than doubled the chances of the Patriots receiving a bye, considering the Texans face the Colts, while the Broncos face the Chiefs. Houston is more likely to fall to Indy than the Broncos are to fall to KC.

This isn't the first time that Minnesota has given Boston a tremendous sports gift. Old friend Kevin McHale shipped Kevin Garnett to the Celtics as an early Christmas present in 2007. That worked out pretty well.

The Twins released David Ortiz just before Christmas 2002, and he was signed by the Red Sox the following January. Ortiz has hit 343 homeruns and knocked in 1,088 RBI for the Sox since then.

It's nice that there's such generosity between Minnesota and Massachusetts. It wasn't always so heartfelt and nice.

Merry Christmas, Minnesota. And thank you.

Patriots-Texans Drinking Game: Monday Night Football Edition

Have a case of the Mondays? Then have a case on Monday. Here's a drinking game for tonight's Pats/Texans game...

Anytime a commentator says...
"Christmas" or "Holidays" = 1 drink from a beer
"Season's greetings" = drink beer for 10 seconds
"This guy" = 1 drink
"Here's a guy" = 1 drink
"Look" = 1 drink
"He's a football player" = 1 drink
"Potent" = 1 drink
"Balanced" = 1 drink
"High-percentage" = 1 drink
"Control their own destiny" = 1 drink
"Milkman" = 1 whole beer


Anytime this is on the screen...
Playoff scenarios = 1 drink
Graphic with Patriots/Belichick's record in December games = 1 drink
Most consecutive games with TD pass graphic = 1 drink
People shopping = 1 drink
Quincy Market = 5 drinks (because "Quincy" comes from the Latin word for 5, fun fact)
Santa = 1 drink
Christmas lights = 1 drink
Blinking Christmas lights = 1 drink per blink
People ice-skating = 1 drink
People ice-skating at Patriot Place = drink whole beer
People singing carols = 1 glass of wassail, or cider, or eggnog
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Jon Gruden makes Mike Tirico giggle = 1 drink
Jon Gruden laughs at himself = 1 drink
Jon Gruden praises a body part of a player = 1 drink
Jon Gruden repeatedly gushes on and on about one player = drink every time he's mentioned, and drink for as long as Gruden rants
Jon Gruden refers to someone by a nickname you've never heard before
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink of eggnog or a White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of Texas beef
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return

Get lubed up responsibly.