Patriots-Jets Drinking Game: Christmas Eve Edition

Ho Ho Ho!!! Merry Christmas!!! And what better way to celebrate the holidays than to imbibe some Christmas spirits while watching the Patriots (hopefully) ruin yet another Christmas for the Jets. By playing this game you will ensure that you will be given a massive hangover as a present from Old St. Nick, and perhaps some severe liver damage or a trip to the hospital for a stomach pump. 

Here's a drinking game to play while watching the Patriots steal Christmas from the Jets, Grinch style. And similar to the Grinch, if you play this game your liver will grow three sizes this day...

Everytime a commentator says:

"Happy" or "Merry" = take 1 drink from a beer

"Holidays" or "Christmas" = 1 drink

"Hanukkah" = take 8 drinks

"Rivalry" = 1 drink

"New" (as in New York and New England) = 1 drink

"AFC East" = 1 drink

"Holly" = 1 drink

"Jolly" = 1 drink

"Rain" = 1 drink

"Snow" = 1 drink

"Brandon" = 1 drink

"Malcolm" = 1 drink

"Marshall" = 1 drink

"Jones" = 1 drink

"Tis" = 1 drink

"The season" = 1 drink

"Season's greetings" = 1 drink

Anytime this is on screen:

Video of the Jets losing = 1 drink

A Santa hat = 1 drink

Santa = 1 drink, 2 cookies, glass of milk

Snow (fake or real) = 1 drink

Christmas tree = 1 drink

Wreath = 1 drink

Ugly Christmas sweater = 1 drink

A fireplace = 1 drink per log

A player or coach's family = 1 drink per family member

Christmas lights = 1 drink

Candle = 1 drink per candle (lit candles only so watch those Menorahs)

Reindeer = 1 drink per reindeer

Grinch = 1 drink

Darelle Revis = 1 drink (bonus points if you're drinking an island/tropical drink)

Bill Belichick = 1 drink and last person to say "Bah Humbug" has to finish their beer

Rob Gronkowski = finish your beer and spike the container (bonus points if it's glass)

Robert Kraft = 1 drink

Robert Kraft talking to someone = drink the entire time he's talking

Anytime this happens:

The Jets do something stupid = 1 drink

Cyrus Jones does something stupid = 1 drink

Cyrus Jones isn't on the field at a time he had been in the past = 1 shot of liquor

Cyrus Jones is actually on the field = entire beer + 2 shots of liquor

Touchback = 1 drink

Kickoff return = drink during entire return

Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink

Brady throws to Edelman = 1 drink

Gostkowski misses a kick = 1 shot of liquor

A runningback catches a pass = 1 drink

LeGarrette Blount runs the ball = 1 drink + 1 hit from a blunt

Malcolm Butler breaks up a pass = finish your beer

Devin McCourty makes a big hit = finish your beer

Patriots go no huddle = drink each snap

Tom Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (bonus points for drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade but only if you're a girl, negative points for guys)

Brady says "Alpha milk" = 1 drink (bonus points if you're drinking a White Russian)

So get lubed up, enjoy the game, Merry Holidays to all and to all a good night!!!!!!

What questions would you ask Marshawn Lynch?

Marshawn Lynch answered almost every question he was asked by media on Sunday with "Thanks for asking."

Earlier in the season he answered reporters by repeating "Yeah."

Not exactly the loquacious type, is he?

As a Bill Belichick fan, I am all for wasting the media's time. It's funny how some members of the media, when presented with guys like Lynch who make their job difficult, will work themselves into a moral outrage over what Lynch is doing. They'll say that Lynch is being disrespectful to the fans, or creating a distraction, or committing some other uproarious sports sin. Somehow not talking to the media, something quite trivial, becomes an egregious wrong.

Even funnier than that outrage is that the reporters still ask Lynch serious questions. "Can you describe the 79-yard run?" (by the way, that's media talk for "I can't come up with a good question, but can you do my job for me and give me a quote/soundbyte about a big play?") That's a stupendously awful question, asking a guy to describe something you saw for yourself. But I digress.

If I were a reporter, I would ask less serious questions. Such as...

"Do you believe in Santa, and if so, what do you want from him for Christmas?"

"Open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?"

"Turkey, or ham?"

"Follow up, paired with what wine?"

"Is Elf on the Shelf too creepy for kids?"

"People have described you as a 'bad man,' does that mean you'll be getting coal for Christmas?"

"Favorite reindeer not named Rudolph?"

"Favorite classic kids Christmas special: Rudolph, Charlie Brown, or the Grinch?"

"Besides Bill Belichick, who in the NFL is most like the Grinch?"

"Besides Pete Carroll, who in the NFL is most like Rudolph?"

"How would you react to meeting an Irishman named Sean Mar?"

"Are you thinking about a career in media after your playing days are over?"

"Follow up: If you were interviewing yourself, what would you ask yourself?" (this is getting into Inside the Actors Studio territory so I'll wrap it up)

"What is your favorite one-word response to media questions?"

So, what questions should reporters ask Marshawn Lynch? What would you ask him?

Photo Credit:
Getty Images

Game of Thrones Christmas Carols

Like Game of Thrones? Sick of holiday music? Let's make Christmas songs more interesting by giving them a Game of Thrones twist.

Disclaimer: I've read the books, but seen only 1 season of the show, so some references might be obscure or meaningless to watchers of the show, a.k.a. The Show's Watch.

It's the Most Winterfell Time of the Year

Tyrion the No-Nosed Reindeer - Then one foggy eve, Tywin came to say: 'Tyrion with your mind so bright, won't you be my Hand tonight.'

I'm Dreaming of a Wight Christmas

We Five Kings

The First Tyrell

Silent Night's Watch

Greyjoy to the World

Littlefinger Boy - Little Drummer Boy

Starkin' Around the Weirwood Tree - Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Oh Come, Oh Come, Khal Drogo

Theon Merrily on High - Ding Dong Merrily on High

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

It's the Most Bronn-derful Time of the Year

Reek the Halls - Deck the Dreadfort with toes and fingers...

We Wish You a Merry Daenerys

Shae Ride - Oh it's lovely weather for a Shae ride together with you... (seems very appropriate, given her profession)

Khal All Ye Faithful

Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor - Here Comes Santa Claus

Joer to the World

Here We Come Naharis-ing - Here We Come A-Wassailing, Daario Naharis

Selyse Navidad

Winter Is Coming to Town

Silent Knight - About Ser Illyn, a.k.a. The King's Justice, a.k.a. the knight who can't talk and cuts people's heads off

Asha Maria - Ave, Maria

Oh, Weirwood Tree

I Saw Three Dragons Come Flying in

Frosty the White Walker/Frosty the Other

I Saw Mommy Kissing Uncle Jaime - With the follow-up I Saw Mommy Kissing Her Little 'Cuz (Lancel)

The Best Six Christmas Movies of All Time, Period.

Before I get into the list, let me explain a few things. First, none of the clay-mation Christmas movies are listed here because so many were made that their Holiday magic became diluted. I love The Nightmare Before Christmas but I consider it more of a Halloween movie. Charlie Brown does not make an appearance. And there's only one Muppet movie on this list. If this were a top ten, they'd be there. But this is only for the best of the best. For the movies that evoke the most emotion, the most cheer, that capture the unique Holiday spirit that provides warmth in the coldest season of the year.

These are the Best Six Christmas Movies of All Time. Period.

#6: Bad Santa
This was going to be a top five list, but you can't not include this new classic. It follows the rules for Christmas movies: a sour character that learns the true meaning of Christmas, a hopeful Character that will never give up on Christmas (or the sour character), redemption, rebirth, renewal, dark moments, glorious moments, a greedy villain with no respect for the season, and in the end friendship, family, and love triumph over all.

But this movie also adds alcohol, sex, profanity, Bernie Mac, and John Ritter. It's also hilarious. The recipe for this movie is like your grandmother's recipe for strawberry shortcake, and you've mixed vodka with it.

#5: How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
Although not technically a feature film, the Grinch is able to pack so many ups and downs in a 25 minute span. It's iconic, which all great Christmas movies need to be. It has a sad and dark moment, which all great Christmas movies need to have. There are cheerful characters (the Grinch's dog) conflicting with grumpy ones (the Grinch). And in the end it's all about heart, redemption, forgiveness, and a new start in the light after living the dark. Birth and rebirth are significant Christmas themes.

#4: The Muppet Christmas Carol
Charles Dickens' classic has been adapted and remade and remade and remade within an inch of its life. However the Muppets give it a unique twist while staying true to the story. Kermit as Bob Cratchit, the old guys from the balcony as Marley and Marley, the songs, and of course my cocaine as Scrooge. I mean Michael Caine.

The Muppets don't interfere with the classic story as it unfolds, they add to it. They don't try to tweak it or rearrange it or sanitize it. They just play along.

#3: Scrooged
Another adaptation of A Christmas Carol. Whereas the Muppets left Dickens' story alone, this movie brought it to the twentieth century. Bill Murray plays TV executive Francis Cross, who has lost the meaning of Christmas, gets the ghost visits, et cetera. Murray is the key to this movie's greatness. Scrooge's 19th century greediness is modernized to a believable 20th century workaholic's greed. A story created by Dickens, acted out by Bill Murray, you can't do better than that. And the end the movie makes you get all emotional. You can't not get emotional when the little kid finally... Well, I won't ruin it if you haven't seen it.

#2: Home Alone
Both one and two. These movies came out as part of an onslaught of family movies. And they have exceptionally strong staying power. I loved these as a kid. And now as an adult I enjoy both the Holiday when-I-was-a-kid nostalgia they trigger along with the things I didn't quite get as a kid. Example: "He said if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man. Whatever that means." Didn't understand that joke as a kid, it cracks me up now.

These movies also feature outcasts that are warmly welcomed into the Christmas community, which is something all great X-Mas flicks have, from Bad Santa to Scrooge. There's also some seriously dark moments mixed perfectly with hilarious ones. The plots of these films are well constructed, the actors are great, there's a perfect blend of humor and drama, and in the end love and family and friends triumph over greed.

#1: It's a Wonderful Life
The recipe for a Christmas movie can't work without sappiness as an ingredient. And nothing is sappier than It's a Wonderful Life. It really doesn't get cornier than this. And that's why it is so powerful.

Jimmy Stewart has the uncanny ability to act like a jerk at times and make you think he's the nicest guy in the world, like when he verbally abuses his kids and then berates their teacher over the phone. But you still love him. And just like Culkin carried Home Alone, Murray carried Scrooged, and Thornton carried Bad Santa, Stewart quarterbacks IAWL and makes it fun to watch. We like him. Even though the movie has racist moments. Even though the bad guy is disabled, which is an old device to make audiences dislike and distrust bad guys. Even though the female characters are token and stock and act only relative to male characters. Even though George Bailey invented subprime lending. You can't help but love this movie.

That's why I picked it as #1. Because on paper it's shallow and has so many flaws. Nevertheless it draws you in and gets you on George Bailey's side anyway. And you love watching it. I can't not watch it if it's on. It's like the best friend you don't have much in common with but love hanging out with. It's like family.

So that's it. No question about it. The best six Christmas movies, beyond a reasonable doubt. All I have left to say to you readers out there is...

Patriots-Ravens Drinking Game: Christmas Cheer Edition

Only a few days until Christmas. Many people have already started their holiday drinking. Here's a drinking game to play during this afternoon's Patriots/Ravens game.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Rivalry" = take 1 drink from a beer
"Foes" = 1 drink
"AFC Championship" = 1 drink
"Revenge" or "vengeance" = 1 drink
"Rematch" = 2 drinks
"Hoomanawanui" = finish your beer
"Injury" = 1 drink
"Ray Lewis" = take a shot of liquor
"Holidays" = 1 drink
"Season" = 1 drink
"'Tis" = 1 drink
"Merry" = 1 drink
"Christmas" = drink for 10 seconds
"Happy" = 1 drink
"New Year" = 1 drink
"Balmy" = drink an entire beer
"Winter" = 1 drink
"Rain" = 1 drink
"Thunder" = 1 drink
"Lightning" = 1 drink
"Suggs" = 1 drink
"Bulletin board material" = 1 drink
"Ho" = 1 drink per ho


Anytime this is on screen...
Highlights from previous Patriots/Ravens games = drink until the highlights are over
Rob Gronkowski getting injured = 1 drink
An injured Patriot on the sidelines or in a suite = 1 drink
A video, list, or graphic of Patriot injuries = 1 drink per injured player
Anything related to the weather = 1 drink
Chandler Jones and his brother Arthur Jones = 1 drink
Something stupid Terrell Suggs said = 1 drink
Cheerleaders dressed in Christmas attire = 1 drink
Anyone dressed as Santa or an elf = 1 drink per costume
Bill Belichick and The Grinch = finish your beer
A fireplace = drink as long as it's on the screen
A player or coach wishing happy holidays/merry Christmas = 1 drink
Bill Belichick giving season's greetings = drink a whole beer
A member of the broadcast crew wishing HH/Merry Xmas = 1 drink
A stocking = 1 drink per stocking
Christmas ornaments = 1 drink per ornament
Reindeer = 1 drink per antler point
Fake snow = 1 drink per flake
Robert Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink the until he's done talking


Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady gets frustrated at himself = 1 drink
Brady gets frustrated at a receiver = 2 drinks
The Patriots fail to score a TD in the Red Zone = shot of liquor and half a beer (just a shot for a field goal)
A Patriots tight-end is thrown to = drink for 10 seconds
A Patriots tight-end catches a pass = drink for 30 seconds
Stevan Ridley carries the ball and doesn't fumble = 1 drink
Ridley fumbles = 1 shot
Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink
Slater catches a pass = half a beer
Dont'a Hightower looks lost or gets beat in coverage = 1 drink
Hightower makes a tackle on a rushing play = 1 drink
Announcers mention that Chandler Jones and Ravens' defensive lineman Arthur Jones are brothers = 1 drink
Brady says "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink from spiked eggnog
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink until return is over


Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, Happy Saturnalia, Happy New Year, and get lubed up responsibly.

Minnesota Loves Giving Gifts to Boston

It's the time of year for giving, and that's what the Minnesota Vikings did for the New England Patriots on Sunday. Minnesota's 23-6 thumping of the Houston Texans made it so if the Patriots win next week, they can secure a first-round bye if Houston loses or if Denver loses. Essentially, the Vikings more than doubled the chances of the Patriots receiving a bye, considering the Texans face the Colts, while the Broncos face the Chiefs. Houston is more likely to fall to Indy than the Broncos are to fall to KC.

This isn't the first time that Minnesota has given Boston a tremendous sports gift. Old friend Kevin McHale shipped Kevin Garnett to the Celtics as an early Christmas present in 2007. That worked out pretty well.

The Twins released David Ortiz just before Christmas 2002, and he was signed by the Red Sox the following January. Ortiz has hit 343 homeruns and knocked in 1,088 RBI for the Sox since then.

It's nice that there's such generosity between Minnesota and Massachusetts. It wasn't always so heartfelt and nice.

Merry Christmas, Minnesota. And thank you.

Park Street Station on Christmas

Why not try to spread holiday cheer on the T?



The MBTA was not so cheerful about the prank. The employee who programmed the scrolling marquee to declare the holiday greeting was written up by his bosses, but was not suspended or fired. I think even to be written up for it is a bit Scroogelike.