Sunday, January 27, 2013

Pro Bowl Drinking Game

It's Pro Bowl Sunday. The Pro Bowl is probably the least interesting of the major sports' all-star games. Which is saying something because they're all kind of lame. Here's a drinking game to play while you subject yourself to the least interesting game of football of the year.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Aloha" = take 1 drink from your beer
Anything Hawaiian = 1 drink
"Harbaugh" = 1 drink
"Harbowl" = vomit, then 1 drink
"first-time" = 1 drink
"ballot" = 1 drink
"vote-getter" = 1 drink
"replace"/"replaced"/"replacing" = 1 drink
"Ed Hochuli" = 1 drink
"fullback" = 1 drink
"Patriots" = 1 drink

Anytime this is on screen...
Someone wearing a Hawaiian shirt = 1 drink for each shirt on screen
Someone wearing a lei around their neck = 1 drink for each lei on screen
Someone wearing a hula skirt = 1 drink for each skirt
Someone wearing a coconut as clothing = 1 drink for each half coconut
Someone doing the hula = 1 drink
Someone doing something Hawaiian = 1 drink
Palm trees = 1 drink per tree
Any graphic, image, or clip with Hawaiian music being played = drink until the music stops
A beach = 1 drink
A surfer = 1 drink per surfer
A pig with an apple in its mouth = 1 whole beer per pig
Manti Te'o = drink an entire invisible beer

Anytime this happens...
Ed Hochuli explains something = drink during the entire explanation
A defensive player blitzes = drink 30 cans of beer
Something interesting happens = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
You rewind your DVR to re-watch a play = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
You rewind your DVR to watch a hot girl in a bikini = 1 drink
You change the channel = 1 shot
You look to see what else is on TV = 1 drink
You wish it were Puppy Bowl Sunday = 1 drink
You question your life because you're watching the Pro Bowl = 1 drink