Monday, December 10, 2012

Patriots-Texans Drinking Game: Monday Night Football Edition

Have a case of the Mondays? Then have a case on Monday. Here's a drinking game for tonight's Pats/Texans game...

Anytime a commentator says...
"Christmas" or "Holidays" = 1 drink from a beer
"Season's greetings" = drink beer for 10 seconds
"This guy" = 1 drink
"Here's a guy" = 1 drink
"Look" = 1 drink
"He's a football player" = 1 drink
"Potent" = 1 drink
"Balanced" = 1 drink
"High-percentage" = 1 drink
"Control their own destiny" = 1 drink
"Milkman" = 1 whole beer


Anytime this is on the screen...
Playoff scenarios = 1 drink
Graphic with Patriots/Belichick's record in December games = 1 drink
Most consecutive games with TD pass graphic = 1 drink
People shopping = 1 drink
Quincy Market = 5 drinks (because "Quincy" comes from the Latin word for 5, fun fact)
Santa = 1 drink
Christmas lights = 1 drink
Blinking Christmas lights = 1 drink per blink
People ice-skating = 1 drink
People ice-skating at Patriot Place = drink whole beer
People singing carols = 1 glass of wassail, or cider, or eggnog
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Jon Gruden makes Mike Tirico giggle = 1 drink
Jon Gruden laughs at himself = 1 drink
Jon Gruden praises a body part of a player = 1 drink
Jon Gruden repeatedly gushes on and on about one player = drink every time he's mentioned, and drink for as long as Gruden rants
Jon Gruden refers to someone by a nickname you've never heard before
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink of eggnog or a White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of Texas beef
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return

Get lubed up responsibly.

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