Jermaine Cunningham Suspended for PEDs

The Patriots will lose the services of Jermaine Cunningham for 4 games. He was suspended by the NFL for an unspecified violation of banned substance policies blah blah blah. He took something illegal, got caught, now he's got 4 weeks off.

This was part of a wave of PED suspensions announced by the League. Many of them for adderall. I'm glad Ithaca College didn't make their students take piss tests because I wouldn't have passed Modern Western Civilization without adderall.

Maybe they'll put an asterisk on my transcript.