Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Remembering Why We Hate the Montreal Canadiens

The Bruins, after a lengthy break that felt like a mini-Lockout, are back in action tonight, playing the hated Habs in Montreal's Bell Centre. It's been a long time since these two rivals met, so I thought we could all remind ourselves why we hate the Montreal Canadiens.

#1 Their Fans
It's hard to find a whinier, more entitled fanbase in the Western Hemisphere. They called the police after Zdeno Chara checked Max Pacioretty. They moan when one of their players dives and a penalty isn't called. Their biggest criticism of former head coach Randy Cunneyworth was that he couldn't speak French, not that the team was 18-23-9 during his tenure. The Quebec Culture Minister got involved in that situation, and groups called for a boycott of Molson products until a French-speaking replacement was hired. Remember, the players can all speak English, Cunneyworth just couldn't do press conferences en Fran├žais.

Oh, and they sometimes boo The Star Spangled Banner.



#2 How They Play the Game
They play a different type of hockey in Montreal. It's more like European soccer. Players collapse at the slightest touch, hoping to draw a penalty. It's disgusting.

Now all teams have a player who has occasionally embellished a trip or a slash in order to get a Power Play for his team. What's different in Montreal is how blatantly they go about it.



Diving is a part of the hockey culture in Montreal. And while they're criticized for it, the NHL rarely does anything about it.

#3 P.K. Subban
He's a talented player. But there's so much not to like about this guy. He's one of the worst and most obvious floppers on the team. You see him play the game with such strength, then he acts like he's being helplessly thrown around.





This next play sums up Subban nicely. He goes from tough guy to turtle in 0.3 seconds.



There aren't many players on this team that are worthy of respect. They're not all diving diva douches like Subban. And Milan Lucic's old pal Michael Komisarek has moved on to Toronto. But looking at their roster and the only players I have any measurable respect for are Brian Gionta and Carey Price.

I hate the players, the coach, the team, the fans, the city, the Province.

I can't wait for tonight.

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