Thursday, October 10, 2013

NFL Will Force Teams to Do Hard Knocks

The NFL owners agreed on a new policy regarding the League's HBO reality show Hard Knocks. If no team volunteers to be the subject of the behind-the-scenes show, the NFL will simply pick a team to be featured. And that team will be required to be the show's subject. Teams that will be exempt from selection include those with new head coaches, teams that have made the playoffs in the previous two seasons, and teams that have been on the show in the previous 10 seasons.

It sounds unfair to force a team that doesn't want to grant that kind of access to do it. I also think the playoff provision is unfair. Why should playoff teams be free of such scrutiny but the struggling teams be forced to deal with it?

What I would do if I ran a team is volunteer to get it out of the way. Then I'd get creative. I'd hire screenwriters from the best soap operas, acting coaches, makeup people, special effects gurus, the whole nine yards. I would make a complete mockery of the series and show fake stories about fake issues. I'd give the cameras enough artificially generated meat to sink their teeth into so they didn't pay attention to what was really happening within the team. Fake fights, fake confessionals, fake incidents, fake rivalries, fake enemies that become friends, fake friends that become enemies.

It would be like Wag the Dog meets the NFL.

Either that or I would volunteer and make the most boring show on in the history of television. I think if somehow the Patriots found their way onto the show, and fans rated it as the most boring season in series history, that achievement would satisfy Bill Belichick more than any of his Super Bowl titles.

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