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Sunday, October 06, 2013

Patriots-Bengals Drinking Game

In honor of the game's host city, Cincinnati, a.k.a. The Nati, massive bonus points will be awarded for drinking Natty Light/Ice during this game. God bless you, you sad, drunken mess. Here are the guidelines for this week's game:

Anytime a commentator says...
"Patchwork" = take 1 drink of beer
"Rookie" = 1 drink
"No-name" = 1 drink
"Amendola" = 1 drink
"Trust" (when talking about a Patriots WR and Brady) = 1 drink
"Comfort" (same condition as above) = 1 drink
"Wes Welker" = 1 drink
"Chad" = 1 drink
"Johnson" = 1 drink
"Ochocinco" = drink for 85 seconds
"Corey Dillon" = drink for 28 seconds
"Hole" = 1 drink
An abbreviation for Michael Hoomanawanui's last name = 1 drink
A joke about the difficulty of Hoomanawanui's name = 1 drink

Anytime this is on screen...
A tiger statue or other facsimile of a tiger = 1 drink
An actual tiger = 1 whole beer
Iso-shot of Aqib Talib covering someone = 1 drink
The Ohio River = 1 drink
Image of Rob Gronkowski = 1 drink
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Kraft talking to someone = drink the entire time he's talking
Bill Belichick's sock(s) = drink an entire beer and a shot

Anytime this happens...
You get frustrated at a Patriots WR making a mistake/drop = drink a shot
Tom Brady gets frustrated at a Pats WR = drink beer for 12 seconds
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = Drink 1 White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots WR runs wrong route = 1 drink
Patriots WR drops pass = 1 drink
Brady throws to a tight-end (excluding Gronk) = 1 shot of liquor

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