Wednesday, March 06, 2013

BREAKING NEWS: Wes Welker to Retire

Disclaimer: This isn't in any way true, nor is it even rational speculation. But everyone else in New England is reporting all sorts of stuff about Welker, from he and the Patriots being close to signing a deal, to Welker having "mild disdain" for the team and how negotiations went last year. This story is based on nothing.

Wes Welker is done with football. The rampant speculation out there in the Boston Sports Media is a mere screen for the truth: that Welker will be moving on from the game. He will be testing free agency in the world outside of sports, and attempt to find employment utilizing his Management degree from Texas Tech.

While this decision seems shocking, it does make sense. Once or twice I've seen Mr. Welker at Toby Keith's Bar and Grille in Foxborough, not playing football. On those occasions, he was not playing football, and yet seemed happy. It follows that he can be happy without playing football at all.

Professional football is also a very limiting business. There are only 32 franchises to choose from, in 31 markets. Welker's Management degree can provide him with opportunities in any city in the country. In the world, actually. How many times can you visit Orchard Park, NY until you get sick of it and want to travel across Europe or Southeast Asia? Welker might particularly enjoy Asia, where his height of 5' 9" would be above average (in China men have an average height of 5' 5.5" and in Japan it's 5' 7" and Indonesia's men are an average height of 5' 2"). Welker can finally be the tall guy in the room.

Finally, no matter what football team Welker could play for, there's very little room for advancement. He's hit his ceiling in the football industry as Starting Player. It would take years for him to rise above that position and enter Coaching ranks, and next to impossible for him to reach the level of CEO or President or Owner. I think Welker would rather start his own business, where he can run things the way he wants to run them. He can decide which direction to go instead of running routes in a playbook written by someone else.

So good luck, Wes. Enjoy your retirement.

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