Patriots-Rams Drinking Game

Here's a drinking game to play as the Pats play the Rams in London.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Cheers" - take a drink of beer
"Cheerio" - 2 drinks
"Tallyho" - entire beer
Anything about the New England Patriots being in old England - 1 drink
A British word we don't use (example: calling an elevator a lift) - 1 drink
"Tea time" - 1 drink, do so with pinky in air
"Scotland" - shot of scotch
"Ireland" - shot of Jameson or a Guinness
"Harry Potter" or anything from the Harry Potter series - 1 drink by anyone who has read them or seen the movies, 7 drinks for anyone who hasn't
Anything about hurricanes - 1 drink
"Kurt Warner" - 1 drink
"Marshall Faulk" - 1 drink
Mention of Marshall and Kevin Faulk being cousins - drink for 33 seconds

Anytime this is on the screen...
Highlights from Super Bowl XXXVI - drink for 36 seconds
James Bond - drink for 007 seconds
Abbey Road (that street from The Beatles album cover) - 1 drink
London Bridge - 1 drink
Tower of London - 1 drink
The Queen - 1 drink
Any member of Royal Family - 1 drink
Soccer match - 1 drink
Rugby match - 1 entire beer
Cricket - 1 drink and some tea
Parliament and/or Big Ben - 1 drink
A pub - 1 drink from a warm beer
A Beefeater (those guards that don't move) - 1 shot of Beefeater gin or vodka
Paul McCartney - 1 drink
Richard Branson - 1 drink
Bob Kraft - 1 drink
Bob Kraft and Richard Branson - 1 drink and a virgin Bloody Mary
Bob Kraft talking - drink the entire time he talks
Weather map - 1 drink
Person in Halloween costume - 1 drink
Jack o lantern - 1 shot of Jack Daniels or a Jack and Coke
British food - 1 drink, then vomit

Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady says "Alpha Milk" - 1 drink
The Patriots go no huddle - 1 drink per snap
The Rams get a 10+ yard reception - 1 drink (please call a taxi)
Patriots first down - 1 drink
Brandon Lloyd is targeted but doesn't catch the ball - half a beer
Sebastian Vollmer's European roots are discussed - 1 German beer or a shot of Jägermeister
Zoltan Mesko's European roots are discussed - 1 drink, if you have Romanian beer you win the game automatically
Kickoff touchback - 1 drink
Kickoff return - drink until the return is over
Gronkowski spikes the ball - 1 drink
Gronkowski scores and DOESN'T spike the ball - whole beer and a shot
Vince Wilfork sack or tackle for a loss - 1 drink
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers turnover - 1 whole beer
Vince Wilfork returns turnover for TD - 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 turkey leg

Get lubed up responsibly.

Why There Will Never Be an NFL Team in London

There hasn't been much talk about the NFL moving a team to London this week, but it's always been a topic of discussion when this game is played. There will never be an American football team based in London and here's why:

Time/Distance
Because of the time zone difference, you can't have night games in London unless they start at 1:00am local time. So no Thursday, Monday, or Sunday night football. A 4:25pm game would have to start at 9:25pm in London. No night games in London or when the London team is on the road.

There's also the considerable jet lag teams would suffer flying to and from Britain. Because of this, the London team itself would probably have the best home-field advantage in the NFL. And would struggle the most on the road. Especially West Coast games. San Diego is 5,500 miles and 8 time zones from London.

Lack of Rivals
The Packers have the Bears, the Giants have the Eagles. The Patriots have the Jets. Who would be London's rival? The Patriots would be closest, at about 3,200 miles. And Washington was burned by the British in 1814. Somehow I don't think much animosity has carried into the 21st century.

Exchange Rate
Due to the cap, players in London would get paid the same amount as their counterparts in the States. Due to the exchange rate, their money would be worth less. $100 equals £62.23. And something that costs £100 costs $161. So players would effectively have less money to spend on houses, cars, strippers, et cetera. So if Darnell Dockett wanted to tweet a picture of $100k, it'd be £62,230 in British notes.

Brits Don't Like the Game
They prefer rugby for a physical sport. And of course soccer is king. While most Americans view soccer as boring and devoid of action, the Brits like that it doesn't pause (how many pauses are in a football game? well over a hundred), and the game can change in an instant. Scoring is rare in soccer, which makes it tense, and one goal could decide the game. Many Brits see our football as slow, hiccuping action, and they don't like the pads.

Having an NFL team in London would be like having a hockey team in the Arizona desert. Thankfully, the NFL isn't as dumb as the NHL.

Why the NFL Will Never Succeed in Britain

For the fifth straight season, a pair of NFL teams met each other in London's Wembley Stadium. And once again the game sold out. But don't expect a Super Bowl in London, certainly don't expect an expansion franchise across the pond, and don't expect American football to be any bigger in the UK than soccer is in the US. The Brits simply do not like it.

Why? Firstly, they have soccer. They obsess over soccer. They have their own leagues, plus they follow leagues in Spain, Italy, and Germany. Then they have international games. Soccer is their fall sport. It's as big as college football in Alabama.

Some of the British enjoy physically violent sports. Which is why they have rugby. And unlike American football, rugby has more flow to it. Our football stops after every play. Add TV timeouts and a 60 minute clock takes over 3 hours to run. The British don't like that. They like sports with few stoppages.

There are British fans, and NFL games are broadcast in England and get decent ratings. But if the NFL really wants to expand, they need to look beyond places that speak English. They need to go to Germany.

Germany was the only place where NFL Europe enjoyed any measure of success. Germany has already produced NFL talent. Germans don't have much rugby. Culturally speaking, Germans would like the start-stop format of NFL games. Their national soccer team is usually best at set-piece plays that are pre-planned. Germany has already embraced North American sports like basketball and hockey. They have no anti-US bias in what sports they follow. They already have a 14 team pro league in Germany.

Maybe the NFL should consider playing a game in Berlin or Munich (Oktoberfest) or in the Rhine-Ruhr region. Germans are very large people, they love sports and physical fitness, they love beer, and they love organized violence. Football is designed for Germany.