No more Boston 2024 (thank God)

Boston Mayor Martin J. Walsh doesn't want to put taxpayers in the position to pay for cost overruns. That unwillingness to make Boston's citizens the insurance policy for Boston 2024 has resulted in Boston's bid being dropped completely. And thank fucking God for that.

The organizers of Boston 2024 were so sure of their budgeting estimates, that they were willing to put the people of Boston's money on the line to pay in case costs surpassed expectations. That's money that could go to schools, police, fire, public works, snow removal, pothole repair, instead going to pay for a velodrome. Which is a steeply banked bicycle race track. Which nobody has any use for, which is why we don't already have one.

The benefits of hosting the Olympics would have been shared among a select group of rich individuals and companies. It would be a bonanza for Suffolk Construction. Bob Kraft would get a cheap soccer specific stadium for the Revs. Everyone publicly pushing for the games to be here would have seen their wallets fatten, whether through business deals or just the paychecks they get working for the Boston 2024 organization. And if costs exceeded expectation, the people would have paid. While the beneficiaries still got paid the same.

After watching the Olympic debate on Fox 25 last week, my anti-Boston 2024 sentiment went from a small controlled fire to a raging inferno. Steve Pagliuca could not give straight answers to simple questions. Daniel Doctoroff was a smarmy jerk. Every question raised by the media or by people against Boston 2024 was dismissed as "hyperbole," or "inflammatory," or not answered at all.

And the T wouldn't benefit directly from the Olympics. There are no Boston 2024 funds allocated to improving it. The T needs to be fixed on its own, BEFORE 2024. The commuter rail and subway lack modern, functioning equipment. Routes and systems need to be updated. The amount of economic production lost due to public transportation issues is unacceptable for a major city. And we should focus on remedying these problems before taking on the challenge of catering to the Olympics.

The Boston 2024 plan was built by optimistic businessmen who stood to gain from Boston hosting. And if their optimistic cost and revenue estimates didn't come to fruition in reality, the people were going to pay. And that's wrong. You can't have one group of people enjoy the profit while another group takes the risk.

So bon voyage, Boston 2024. To translate intoto Bostonian: Go fuck yourselves.

Blizzard of 2015 might cost Gillette Stadium a future Super Bowl

While the Patriots went through the circus of Super Bowl Media Day, Winter Storm Juno dropped 22 inches of snow on their home in Foxboro. Other areas of Boston were covered by more than 30 inches. There were travel bans, the T shut down, schools closed, offices were closed, and events were cancelled.

Last year the success of the Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey gave added hope to the prospect of Gillette Stadium hosting the big game someday. But if such a proposal is made in future hosting bids, people might point to Juno as a reason to avoid hosting the game in New England.

As much as I'd love for the Super Bowl to be played on Route 1 in Foxboro, you can't ignore the potential for severe weather to impact the event. And not just the game. The week leading up to the Super Bowl is a massive event in and of itself. Media Day, all the corporate hospitality parties, it's a circus. Moreover, teams need practice facilities, and they need to be able to travel to practice.

A Boston/Foxboro would, similar to the Super Bowl in NY/NJ, would be spread out. This means it would be reliant on people being moved from one place to another. Something that snow can make difficult, or even impossible.

The plan for a Boston/Foxboro Super Bowl would require people to stay in hotels in Boston, Providence, maybe even Hartford. One strong snowstorm could bring the whole show to a standstill. The corporate sponsors would have to cancel or reduce their events. The media could find themselves stranded in Connecticut on media day. Teams could find their practice facilities under 18 inches of snow.

Snow paralyzes transportation. And a Boston/Foxboro Super Bowl would be more dependent on transportation than any Super Bowl in history.

Now imagine the worst-case scenario: the storm hits on the weekend and impacts the game. Traffic getting into and out of Gillette Stadium is bad enough. Playing football in snowy conditions can be fantastic drama. But that's assuming that the team buses can even make the trip from whatever hotel in Quincy the teams stay at to the Stadium.

The Super Bowl is a monster with many moving parts. A snowstorm could paralyze that monster. All those moving parts generate money, which makes the monster attractive. But movement can be very difficult in New England in late January and early February.

So Juno might cost Boston/Foxboro a future Super Bowl. Then again, money has the power to shorten memories.

Photo Credit: John Wilcox

Clusterfuck 2024

You know that excitement and anxiety you feel before a big winter storm hits? That's what I feel like thinking about the impending Boston Olympics. There's a Nor'easter coming, and it's forecast to slam Boston in summer 2024.

Sullivan's Tap near the Garden, with its long bar, could host the fencing. The Gold's Gym next to Fenway could host the weightlifting. The beach volleyball could be held in Revere. We could have diving off the Tobin. Cycling on Brookline Ave, during rush hour. The 100 meter dash at Park Street, running between the Red Line and the Green Line. Hurdles over the panhandlers in Harvard Square. The balance beam on top of the Citgo sign. Water polo on the Fenway concourse when it floods.

Can you imagine the Opening Ceremony? Dropkick Murphy's played on repeat, Dennis Leary saying stuff quickly and bitterly, Rene Rancourt singing the anthem, and wall to wall Wahlbergs.

Do you watch the Summer Olympics? How much? All of it, or just some basketball, gymnastics, and of course beach volleyball? Well, Boston, prepare yourself to not only watch the games, but have all of them shoved in your face on a daily basis. You'll be drowning in the sweat of athletes. You'll have to be a judo blackbelt to fight the traffic. You'll have to be as flexible as a 75 pound Romanian gymnast to go through this ordeal without suffering a mental breakdown.

Boston's infrastructure can barely handle the strain of the daily commute. And it only takes one problem - such as a breakdown on 93, or a stopped train on the Red Line, or a fallen wire on the Commuter Rail tracks - for the whole house of cards to collapse.

Boston's bid for the 2024 Olympics hinges on public transportation to move spectators, officials, and participants around the city. There will be no centralized Olympic Park. Everything will be spread out, mostly at facilities attached to the city's universities. Fencing will be at MIT, field hockey at Harvard Stadium, rowing in Lowell. Yes, Lowell.

The innovative plan requires that large amounts of money are donated to schools for buildings that will be used for the Olympics, then become part of the university. UMass Boston, for instance, wants to build new dorms. These buildings could be used as an athletes' village before being converted for use by college freshman to pass out in after drinking 4 Smirnoff Ices.

It would be a reinvention of how the Olympics are played and paid for. Which scares the hell out of me. I love innovation, but figuring out new ways to do things means making mistakes. Mistakes cost money. The people who want the Olympics here can quote prices all they want. But we here in Boston know better than anyone that estimates mean nothing.

Seriously, how can you estimate an accurate cost for something that's never been done before?

When considering the Olympics, you shouldn't try to weigh costs vs. benefits. You need to look into who will profit, and who will pay. Weigh the takers vs. the payers. Suffolk and other contractors will profit. And I'm sure the unions doing the work won't ask for more money or anything. The people on these committees will all make a tidy salary. Cops will rack up the overtime with security details (you pay for that). Someone might get a new soccer stadium out of the deal. Hotels will clean up. Local businesses will make some money. There will be part-time work available for a short period. And the State government will be able to tax all of this (the construction, the wages made by workers and cops, hotel rooms, sales tax).

Just remember, every dollar made comes from somewhere.

Frankly, I'm not sure Boston could handle the strain on its infrastructure, even if it is improved. Imagine Marathon Monday, every day, for weeks. Now imagine you had to get to work on that day. Imagine you had to get from A to B, but on the way were the crowds from the archery and the high hurdles trying to get to their events.

What's the worst that could happen? An already antiquated and overused Green Line could break down, delaying events, making people late for work. Or worse, a train could derail. At the very least, public transportation will become a massive pain in the ass, as opposed to what you feel riding the T normally: numbness with the occasional acute flare up.

I'm not sure Bostonians want to deal with that. But if they do, then go for it. All I know is that if I'm living in Boston in 2024, then I'll rent my place during the Olympics and take a vacation.

Patriots-Falcons Drinking Game: Sunday Night Football Edition

Before we go over the rules of the drinking game, I have a thought on tonight's football game: Don't get overly enthusiastic about a win, or overly depressed by a loss. Think of the football season as a semester in college. It's still early. This game is a good test for the Patriots, but it's just one test. In school you don't get an A just by acing one test. Nor do you flunk by getting just one F. This is a midterm exam, not a final.

To the lubing up...

Anytime a commentator says...
"Dome" = 1 drink from a beer
"Dome team" = 2 drinks
"Loud" or "Noisy" = 1 drink
"Wes Welker" = 1 drink
"Vick" = drink for 7 seconds
"High octane" = 5 drinks
"No huddle" = 1 drink
"Length" (when referring to armspan) = 1 drink
"This guy" or "Here's a guy" = 1 drink
"Test" = 1 drink
"Early" = 1 drink
"Matty Ice" = drink a scotch on the rocks
An abbreviation for Michael Hoomanawanui's last name = 1 drink

Anytime this is on screen...
Matt Ryan's regular season stats = drink for 2 seconds
Matt Ryan's playoff stats/record = drink for 20 seconds
Matt Ryan playing for Boston College = drink for 2 minutes
An angry Tom Brady = drink for 12 seconds
Healthy Rob Gronkowski = 1 drink
Sidelined Rob Gronkowski = finish beer, spike empty can Gronk style
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Kraft talking to someone = drink the entire time he's talking
Bill Belichick's sock(s) = drink an entire beer and a shot

Anytime this happens...
You yawn = mix Red Bull with liquor, 1 drink for the first yawn, 2 for the second, and so on
John Gruden makes himself laugh = 1 drink
Gruden makes a homoerotic remark about a football player's body, or a part of his body = 1 drink
Gruden compares a player's body or part(s) to an inanimate object (e.g. a fire hydrant) = 1 drink
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots WR runs wrong route = 1 drink
Patriots WR drops pass = 1 drink
Brady throws to a tight-end (excluding Gronk) = 1 shot of liquor
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of wings... Falcon wings
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Actual kickoff return = drink during entire return
Rob Gronkowski gets seriously injured = drink until you can't feel feelings, then call sports radio

Enjoy the game, and please get lubed up responsibly.

Patriots-Colts Drinking Game

So Colts/Patriots is once again relevant as a rivalry. But now it's Brady/Luck not Brady/Manning. Here's a drinking game to play during today's game.

Anytime a commentator says...
"No-huddle" or "high-octane" = 1 drink from a beer
A pun or play on words with "Luck" = drink beer for 7 seconds
A "Luck" pun involving horseshoes = drink for 11 seconds
"Guru" = 1 drink
"Peyton Manning" = drink for 18 seconds
"Turkey" = 1 drink
"Thanksgiving" = 1 drink
"Gobble gobble" = 1 shot of Wild Turkey
"Stanford" = 1 drink


Anytime this is on the screen...
Adam Vinatieri's game tying 45 yard FG against the Raiders in the snow = drink beer for 45 seconds
Vinatieri's game winning 23 yarder against the Raiders = drink for 23 seconds
Vinatieri's game winning 48 yarder against the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI = drink for 48 seconds
Vinatieri's game winning 41 yarder against the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII = drink beer for 41 seconds
A graphic with Vinatieri plus: Richard Seymour, Ty Law, Asante Samuel, or any other big name Patriot castaways = shot of cheap liquor, Mr. Boston vodka would be best
Fall foliage = 1 drink from a beer
Fall foliage from Vermont = 1 drink from a beer plus a shot of maple syrup
Cranberries = 1 drink
Cranberry bog = 1 Cape Codder (vodka and cranberry juice)
A turkey (animated, live, or cooked) = 1 drink
Pilgrims = 1 drink
Plymouth Rock = drink as much as you can in 16 minutes and 20 seconds (16:20)
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink as long as he's talking
Bill Belichick pulling something from his sock = 1 drink


Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady yells "Alpha Milk" = 1 drink
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink
Patriots get a first down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Colts go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow a 15+ yard pass play = 1 drink
Devin McCourty gets beat on a pass (even if incomplete) = 1 drink
McCourty forces a turnover = 1 shot of liquor
Vince Wilfork tipped pass = 1 drink
Wilfork recovers turnover = 1 shot
Wilfork returns turnover for TD = 1 shot, 1 beer, 1 turkey leg or mutton joint
Rob Gronkowski spikes the ball = 1 drink
Gronk doesn't spike after TD = 1 whole beer
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink until the return is over


Please get lubed up responsibly.

Patriots-Rams Drinking Game

Here's a drinking game to play as the Pats play the Rams in London.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Cheers" - take a drink of beer
"Cheerio" - 2 drinks
"Tallyho" - entire beer
Anything about the New England Patriots being in old England - 1 drink
A British word we don't use (example: calling an elevator a lift) - 1 drink
"Tea time" - 1 drink, do so with pinky in air
"Scotland" - shot of scotch
"Ireland" - shot of Jameson or a Guinness
"Harry Potter" or anything from the Harry Potter series - 1 drink by anyone who has read them or seen the movies, 7 drinks for anyone who hasn't
Anything about hurricanes - 1 drink
"Kurt Warner" - 1 drink
"Marshall Faulk" - 1 drink
Mention of Marshall and Kevin Faulk being cousins - drink for 33 seconds

Anytime this is on the screen...
Highlights from Super Bowl XXXVI - drink for 36 seconds
James Bond - drink for 007 seconds
Abbey Road (that street from The Beatles album cover) - 1 drink
London Bridge - 1 drink
Tower of London - 1 drink
The Queen - 1 drink
Any member of Royal Family - 1 drink
Soccer match - 1 drink
Rugby match - 1 entire beer
Cricket - 1 drink and some tea
Parliament and/or Big Ben - 1 drink
A pub - 1 drink from a warm beer
A Beefeater (those guards that don't move) - 1 shot of Beefeater gin or vodka
Paul McCartney - 1 drink
Richard Branson - 1 drink
Bob Kraft - 1 drink
Bob Kraft and Richard Branson - 1 drink and a virgin Bloody Mary
Bob Kraft talking - drink the entire time he talks
Weather map - 1 drink
Person in Halloween costume - 1 drink
Jack o lantern - 1 shot of Jack Daniels or a Jack and Coke
British food - 1 drink, then vomit

Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady says "Alpha Milk" - 1 drink
The Patriots go no huddle - 1 drink per snap
The Rams get a 10+ yard reception - 1 drink (please call a taxi)
Patriots first down - 1 drink
Brandon Lloyd is targeted but doesn't catch the ball - half a beer
Sebastian Vollmer's European roots are discussed - 1 German beer or a shot of Jägermeister
Zoltan Mesko's European roots are discussed - 1 drink, if you have Romanian beer you win the game automatically
Kickoff touchback - 1 drink
Kickoff return - drink until the return is over
Gronkowski spikes the ball - 1 drink
Gronkowski scores and DOESN'T spike the ball - whole beer and a shot
Vince Wilfork sack or tackle for a loss - 1 drink
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers turnover - 1 whole beer
Vince Wilfork returns turnover for TD - 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 turkey leg

Get lubed up responsibly.

Patriots-Jets Drinking Game

Here's a drinking game to play during Sunday evening's festivities. Every time certain words, phrases, or images are shown you have to drink a certain amount.

Anytime a commentator says...
"high-octane" or "no huddle" - 1 drink from a beer
"Oregon" or "Oklahoma" = 1 drink for the first mention, then 2 for the second, 3 for the third, and so on.
"Alfonzo Dennard" the wrong way (it's Duh-nard) = half a beer
Any press clipping about Mark Sanchez = 1 drink
Any press clipping about Tim Tebow = 3 drinks
"Tebow" = 1 drink
Talking about Tebow as a great human being = 1 drink
Anything to do with the number 666 = half a beer and a shot

Anytime this is on the screen...
Fall foliage = 1 shot and half a beer
Foliage from Vermont = the same as above plus a shot of maple syrup
Someone Tebowing = drink a beer for 6.66 seconds
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink as long as he's talking
Bill Belichick pulling something from his sock = 1 drink
Bible verse = a shot for the number of the chapter, and drink from a beer for the number of seconds of the verse, so John 3:16 would be 3 shots and 16 seconds of beer
Any graphic or reference to Belichick as head coach of the Jets = a beer
Any clips from Hard Knocks = 1 drink

Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady yells "alpha milk" = 1 drink
Patriots get a rushing first down = 1 drink
Patriots allow a passing first down = 1 drink
Devin McCourty gets beat on a pass = 1 drink (even if it's incomplete)
Devin McCourty interception = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork tipped pass = 1 drink
Vince Wilfork recovers turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork returns turnover for TD = 1 shot, 1 beer, 1 turkey wing
Rex Ryan is bleeped out or says something that'd be bleeped out = 1 drink
Wes Welker mentioning feet (even in a past video) = 1 drink
Gronk spikes the ball = 1 drink
Gronk doesn't spike after TD = 1 whole beer
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink until the return is over
Whenever Stevan Ridley or Aaron Hernandez carry the ball without properly securing it = 1 drink

Patriots-Seahawks Drinking Game

So here's a drinking game to play during today's game. Every time certain words, phrases, or images are shown you have to drink a certain amount.

Anytime a commentator says...
"high octane" = 1 drink from a beer
"no-huddle" = 1 drink
"Oregon" = 1 drink, then 2 drinks the second mention, 3 the third, and so on (in tribute to the absurd number of push-ups the Oregon Duck mascot has to do when the Ducks score)
"Bill Parcells" = half a beer
"2007" = 1 drink (in reference to Patriots only)
"USC" or "Southern Cal" = 1 drink
"guru" = 1 shot
"replacement refs" = 1 drink

Anytime this is on the screen...
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink as long as he's talking
Pete Carroll as Patriots head coach = drink as long as the clip or image is on the screen
Bill Belichick pulling something from his sock = 1 drink


Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady yells "alpha milk" = 1 drink
Patriots get a rushing first down = 1 drink
Patriots allow a passing first down = 1 drink
Devin McCourty gets beat on a pass = 1 drink (even if it's incomplete)
Devin McCourty interception = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork touchdown = 1 whole beer
Gronk spikes the ball = 1 drink
Gronk doesn't spike after TD = 1 whole beer
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink until the return is over

1 drink for every play the Patriots run, 1 for every 10+ yard pass play they allow.

Get lubed up responsibly.