The Army-Navy Game: the only thing about college football worthy of respect

I love watching college football. The crazy plays, the surprises, the suspense, the atmosphere, future NFLers playing alongside future insurance salesmen.

However, I do not respect college football. What the Army-Navy game has, the rest of college football lacks, and the absence of those things is why I have lost my respect for big time college football.

Army and Navy make respecting history a priority. Texas doesn't play Texas A+M anymore. Nebraska doesn't play Colorado or Oklahoma. The Notre Dame-Michigan rivalry is on hiatus, possibly returning in 2020. These historic rivalries are no more. Because of conference affiliations and money. History is a big part of college football, but respect for history is not a primary concern. It takes a backseat to revenue streams and endless conference realignments.

The Army-Navy game is top priority for both schools. Navy won't end the series because of an agreement to play ACC opponents 5 times a year. Army won't suspend the series because they join the Big XII. Army and Navy respect history and make that respect a priority.

The student-athletes are student-athletes. The academies are tough schools to get into. And they don't make exceptions to those who are gifted on the field but can't do the work in the classroom. The US Military Academy and the Naval Academy are schools first, and the schools support football teams. Unlike the big college football programs like Alabama and Oregon, which are teams that carry the school.

There are more important things than football on the campuses at West Point and Annapolis. The same can't be said about Tuscaloosa or Eugene or Norman or Ann Arbor.

The money doesn't control the programs. There won't be a non-profit "charity" that buys Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo a $3.1 million house. He does make $1.6 million a year, but there are 60+ college coaches making more than him. Army coach Jeff Monken makes $700,000, 93rd in the country.

There is money involved in both programs and in the game. CBS pays to broadcast it. These teams will gladly go to bowl games when eligible. But the money isn't the driving force behind every decision, as it is with other programs.

The programs don't allow the good of the football team to become a priority over basic human decency. Unlike Penn State, where football was more important than the safety of little boys. Unlike Florida State, where football (and baseball) was more important than finding the truth.

The programs don't put winning ahead of following the rules. USC, Ohio State, North Carolina, Miami, Oregon, Cam Newton, Reggie Bush. Recruiting violations, players making money, all happens under the noses of blind athletic departments. Even holier than thou Notre Dame took part in Manti Te'o's lying about his sick girlfriend, after he and the school learned he'd been duped and she didn't exist.

Moral corruption is as necessary to a big time college football program as state of the art locker rooms and training facilities.

Blissful ignorance is a prerequisite to be an administrator in the athletic department of a big time college football school. Deference to athletic departments and their ignorance is a prerequisite to be a high-ranking university official at these schools.

Finally, the biggest reason I don't respect big time college football but do respect the Army-Navy game is what happens after school. With the big time programs, even those who don't make the NFL have it made. A former Nebraska linebacker will get a cushy job at a car dealership in Lincoln because he had 100 tackles as a sophomore. Who cares if he doesn't meet his quota, he was the reason the Huskers beat CU (back when they played CU, now I guess Maryland would be Nebraska's rival?)

Meanwhile, an Army tackle will get a job commanding a platoon on a mountain in Afghanistan, a Navy cornerback will get a job as a Marine protecting an embassy in Iraq.

Cadets and Midshipmen face death, loss of limb, loss of peace of mind. Former Sooners and Tigers and Ducks and Wolverines face getting their drinks paid for by alumni and no student loan payments. They face NFL contract negotiations. They face reporters approaching them 5 years after they graduate, asking about the violations that were finally discovered at their schools.

Graduates (if they do actually graduate) of the big time programs live in a country made for them. While Army and Navy grads risk their lives to MAKE that country for all of us.

Go Army. Go Navy. You've already beaten big time college football in everything that matters.

Ignorant College Football Pics*

Be advised, this post includes pictures of scantily clad women showing school pride, among other things.

Last week my picks were 7-7, bringing my season total to 40-34-1. Here are my selections for this weekend's games:

Louisville -3.5 vs. Cincinnati
Tight race atop the Big East. Nobody cares.

Texas -19 @ Kansas
Longhorns should roll in Lawrence.

South Carolina -13.5 @ Tennessee
Cocks should repeatedly violate the Vols.

Arkansas -6 vs. Ole Miss
Home field advantage.

North Carolina -7.5 vs. NC State
I finally believe in the Tar Heels. So they'll probably lose.

Maryland +2 @ Boston College
BC hasn't beaten an FBS team.

Duke +27.5 @ Florida State
Has the looks of a scare game, FSU wins but doesn't cover.

Texas Tech +7.5 @ Kansas State
Tech's only loss was to Oklahoma. And they crushed WVU just like K-State did.

Oklahoma State -7 vs. TCU
TCU will learn how hard the road is in the Big XII.

Wisconsin -6 vs. Michigan State
Tough to win in Madison.

USC -6.5 @ Arizona
Why not?

Georgia +7 vs. Florida (Jacksonville)
Yes. Upset in Jacksonville.

Ohio State +1 @ Penn State
Rare time I'll be rooting for OSU, so they'll likely lose.

Vanderbilt -32.5 vs. UMass
The Minutemen are struggling to adjust to FBS.

Syracuse +2.5 @ South Florida
Vomit.

Michigan +2 @ Nebraska
Interesting divisional races in Big Ten.

Oklahoma -11.5 vs. Notre Dame
When they win, OU tends to win by a decent margin.

Mississippi State +24 @ Alabama
The Bulldogs are a legit threat to win the SEC West and Bama might be thinking a week ahead to LSU. Could be close.

Oregon State -3 @ Washington
I like Beavers.

Patriots-Seahawks Drinking Game

So here's a drinking game to play during today's game. Every time certain words, phrases, or images are shown you have to drink a certain amount.

Anytime a commentator says...
"high octane" = 1 drink from a beer
"no-huddle" = 1 drink
"Oregon" = 1 drink, then 2 drinks the second mention, 3 the third, and so on (in tribute to the absurd number of push-ups the Oregon Duck mascot has to do when the Ducks score)
"Bill Parcells" = half a beer
"2007" = 1 drink (in reference to Patriots only)
"USC" or "Southern Cal" = 1 drink
"guru" = 1 shot
"replacement refs" = 1 drink

Anytime this is on the screen...
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink as long as he's talking
Pete Carroll as Patriots head coach = drink as long as the clip or image is on the screen
Bill Belichick pulling something from his sock = 1 drink


Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady yells "alpha milk" = 1 drink
Patriots get a rushing first down = 1 drink
Patriots allow a passing first down = 1 drink
Devin McCourty gets beat on a pass = 1 drink (even if it's incomplete)
Devin McCourty interception = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork touchdown = 1 whole beer
Gronk spikes the ball = 1 drink
Gronk doesn't spike after TD = 1 whole beer
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink until the return is over

1 drink for every play the Patriots run, 1 for every 10+ yard pass play they allow.

Get lubed up responsibly.

Ignorant College Football Picks*

Two weeks ago my picks were 4-3, and last week I was lazy and didn't make any picks. I'm back with some ignorant, uninformed picks of this weekend's games.

Virginia Tech -17.5 vs. Bowling Green
I smell blocked kicks and INT returns.

Wake Forest -7 vs. Army
The Demon Deacons aren't good, but they're at home, and Army is winless.

UConn -1 at Western Michigan
UConn has been good.

Penn State -7 vs. Temple
Rebound day for the N-Lions.

Washington State -20 vs. Colorado
CU might be the worst team in college football.

USC -16.5 vs. Cal
Don't sell USC just because they lost to Stanford.

Auburn +21 vs. LSU
Don't think Auburn will win, but it's the SEC, it's at night, should be a closer game.

Louisville -13.5 at Florida International
Why not?

Michigan +5.5 at Notre Dame
The Irish are overrated, so are Michigan, so who is the most under-overrated?

Oklahoma -14.5 vs. Kansas State
K-State is 3-0, but it's tough to go to Norman and hang with the Sooners.

Clemson +14.5 at Florida State
Kind of a big spread. I like how Clemson plays.

Arizona +21.5 at Oregon
Immediately regret this pick.

College Football Picks: Week 4*

Last week my picks were 2-5. On the season, I've made 20 picks, and have a record of 7-12-1. So things haven't been going very well. Factor in a 10% vigorish that the loser typically pays in a sports bet, and I'm averaging a -31.5% return on investment with these bets. That means for every $100 I theoretically wager, I'd get back $68.50 and lose $31.50. That's not good.

So I would advise that you look at my picks, and do the opposite.

This is a big weekend in college football. There are three huge conference games that could go a long way to determine BCS berths. #14 Arkansas is at #3 Alabama. #7 Oklahoma State is at #8 Texas A&M. #11 Florida State is at #21 Clemson. And here are my picks:

NC State +7.5 @ Cincinnati
I still have faith in the Wolfpack, and think very little of the Bearcats.

Syracuse -2 vs. Toledo
Why not? If Cuse loses, then I'll still be quite happy.

Boston College -9 vs. UMass
I'm tempted to take UMass on this one, but BC has got to be pissed, their defense should stop anything the Minutemen can muster, and Montel Harris might be back.

Florida State +2.5 @ Clemson
One team coming off a big loss, another coming off a big win. I think FSU is slightly underrated at the moment, and the opposite is true of Clemson. I'm sure Jenn Sterger agrees.

Arkansas +12.5 @ Alabama
In my preseason SEC preview, I picked Arkansas to win the West because they'd match up well with Alabama. When you're wrong most of the time, it's best to stick with your first pick. That way, at the most, you can only be wrong once.

Texas A&M -3.5 vs. Oklahoma State
OSU is good, A&M is better, and playing at one of the best home stadiums in the game.

LSU -5.5 @ West Virginia
I have a feeling like LSU might get worn down with their tough schedule. But until it happens, I can't not pick them.

USC +2.5 @ Arizona State
Why not?

College Football Summary: Week 1

Week 1 rarely teaches us much, and by the time November comes, we usually don't remember nor care what happened. That's why it's kind of smart for some programs to schedule big non-conference games in Week 1. A win gives them momentum and can solidify their spot in the rankings (and get them TV games later in the year). A loss can be forgotten by the time the rankings really matter.

Here's what we learned about the 2011 season:

1. ROBERT GRIFIN III (RG3) IS FOR REAL, SO IS BAYLOR

This is an important year for Baylor. The Big XII is on the verge of disintegration, which will leave Baylor's fate up in the air. If they can win some games, make some noise, and get to a decent bowl game, then they can have some decent options for which conference they want to go to next. I'm thinking they might replace TCU in the Mountain West.

Anyway, RG3 threw for 359 yards and 5 TDs, he also ran for 38 yards, and caught a pass for 15. Not bad at all.

2. NOTRE DAME IS OVERRATED

It's shocking that people would rank Notre Dame higher than they belong. Absolutely baffling. If the Irish can't handle USF in their own backyard, how will they handle trips to Ann Arbor and Stanford, as well as visits from Michigan State and USC?

3. LSU IS VERY VERY GOOD

The SEC West is wide open. LSU just joined Alabama and Arkansas as the leading contenders. They dominated Oregon in a semi-neutral location (Baton Rouge is 450 miles from Arlington, Eugene is 2,000 miles away). It's almost impossible to go undefeated in the SEC, so having a big win like that already in the bank can help give the Tigers a national title berth, even with 1 loss or perhaps 2.

4. OREGON CAN'T WIN BIG GAMES
The Ducks weren't terribly outplayed, but they made huge mistakes at the worst points of the game and at the worst spots on the field. 4 turnovers, 12 penalties, and another loss to an SEC defense. The Ducks fly high when they're much more talented than their opponent, but when they face equal talent, they have yet to demonstrate the character it takes to win big games.

5. ONLY ONE TEAM CAN WEAR SILLY UNIFORMS

Speaking of Oregon, only they can wear silly threads and look cool. That's because their uniform was ridiculous to begin with. Forest green with lime green writing? Why not modify that? But when teams with traditional colors and standard uniforms try to copy Oregon's creativity, it never works out. Georgia's uniforms were so ugly, that they even failed at being ugly. Maryland's looked like a nightmare, Boise State's were ugly AND boring. Every team will try to imitate the Ducks, but only Oregon is Oregon.

6. USC'S DEFENSE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING POSITIVE
It's hard to be impressed by a 19-17 home win over lowly Minnesota, but USC did something in this game that they notoriously failed to do in 2010: their defense made a big play at the end, instead of choking down the stretch. In the Pete Carrol days, USC won with their defense. Their current incarnation might not be as athletic or as dominant, but at least they apparently no longer will cost the Trojans any games.

7. LIGHTNING SUCKS

Lightning seemed to effect about half of the games this weekend. It was a rare set of circumstances with several large weather systems covering the country. As the season progresses, and the weather cools down, lightning will stop being a factor.

8. IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG YEAR ON CHESTNUT HILL
The Eagles amassed 479 yards of offense, including 375 from QB Chase Rettig. But the BC quarterback couldn't get the ball into the endzone, and the eagles lost to a mediocre team that had a backup QB under center. Now BC travels to Orlando to play UCF, who won 11 games last year. A loss to UCF, and the Eagles can kiss bowl eligibility goodbye.

College Football Preview: Pac-12*

The Pac-10 grew to the Pac-12 by adding Utah from the Mountain West and Colorado from the Big XII. And even though these states are nowhere near the Pacific, the Pac-10/12 has always been a geographically dispersed conference. You've got teams from Washington and Oregon playing against teams from Arizona and southern California. So adding Utah and Colorado isn't too absurd.

Here's the alignment of the Pac-12, divided into two divisions:

North:
Oregon
Oregon State
Washington
Washington State
Stanford
California

South:
USC
UCLA
Arizona
Arizona State
Utah
Colorado

Teams will play 9 conference games (5 within the division, 4 from the other division). The Championship Game will be on December 2, and will be played at the home of the team with the best conference record.

1. Stanford Cardinal

Andrew Luck is the best player in the Pac-12, and perhaps the country. He'll have to play behind a rebuilt offensive line and a new group of WRs, but the Cardinal have some quality tight-ends, and they can run the ball. Last year, Stepfan Taylor ran for 1,137 yards and scored 15 times.

Their defense is good, and I think it's good enough to allow the offense to keep pace with Oregon when they meet in November (in Stanford, CA). Meanwhile, Oregon's defense will have trouble with Luck and the Cardinal's offense.

Stanford will beat Oregon head-to-head.

Key Games:
11/29 @ USC
11/12 vs. Oregon
11/26 vs. Notre Dame

Prediction: 12-1, Pac-12 North winner, Pac-12 title game winner, National Title contender

2. Oregon Ducks

It's hard not to be dazzled by UO's talent at the skill positions. RB LaMichael James ran for 1,731 yards and 21 TDs. QB Damon Thomas threw for 2,881 yards and 30 TDs. The Ducks averaged 47 points and over 530 yards of offense per game. There's little reason to think that their offense won't score at will.

However, their defense was only solid last year, and it's lost some key pieces. Only 5 starters return. While they'll be able to roll over most teams on their schedule, this one slight weakness will keep them out of the Pac-12 title game, and out of the BCS title game.

Key Games:
9/3 vs. LSU (in Arlington, TX)
11/12 @ Stanford
11/19 vs. USC

Prediction: 11-1, 2nd in Pac-12 North, National Title contender

3. USC Trojans

QB Matt Barkley (26 TDs as a sophomore) and WR Robert Woods (65 catches, 792 yards as a freshman) are rising stars in Hollywood's football program. However, unlike the Pete Carroll days, defense is no longer a strength at USC. The Trojans allowed 400.1 yards per game last year, and there doesn't seem to be many signs of improvement on that side of the ball. Thankfully for USC, they're in the South Division.

Key Games:
10/22 @ Notre Dame
10/29 vs. Stanford
11/19 @ Oregon

Prediction: 9-4, Pac-12 South winner, loss in Pac-12 title game

4. Utah Utes

It will be a challenge for Utah to rebuild after losing so much talent, even though the Utes won 10 games last year. Hiring Norm Chow as offensive coordinator can't hurt. And QB Jordan Wynn shows some promise. But they still need to replace their RBs. They also struggled against good defenses, which they'll see plenty of in the Pac-12.

Prediction: 8-4

5. Arizona State Sun Devils

ASU is good on the ground, bad in the air, on both sides of the ball. They have several good RBs, and 4 offensive linemen return. But the QB situation is still a mystery. On the other side of the ball, a good D-line and all 3 LBs returning bodes well for run stopping. The Sun Devils must also find a way to slow down opposing passing games. They were 101st against the pass last year.

Prediction: 8-4

6. Arizona Wildcats

If Arizona wants to reach a school record 4th straight bowl, they'll need QB Nick Foles to continue to excel. He threw over 3,000 yards and 20 TDs last year. The offensive line protecting him has 1 combined start among them, and the rushing game was awful last year. The defense was solid last year and should be just as good in 2011. Despite a tough start (games against Stanford, Oregon, and USC), the Wildcats should go bowling.

Prediction: 7-5

7. Washington Huskies

It's impossible to replace the likes of Jake Locker, but at least Washington has a 1,000 yard back and a 1,000 yard receiver. Their defense can rush the passer, and their DBs also know what they're doing. With the QB talent Washington will face in the Pac-12, those are two very nice defensive assets.

Prediction: 7-5

8. California Golden Bears

The Bears were 73rd in scoring offense last year, have no clear QB, no experienced RB, and little depth at WR. However, they possess one of the best defenses in the Pac-12. It won't be good enough to carry their feeble offense, but it might allow them to win one huge upset game.

Prediction: 6-6

9. Oregon State Beavers

QB Ryan Katz along with some good receivers should improve the passing game. That will be a necessity because their running game will struggle with little talent in the backfield and a suspect line. The defense is a big mess. Losing Jacquizz Rodgers and Stephen Paea has put the Beavers on life support until more talent can arrive.

Prediction: 5-7

10. UCLA Bruins

The Bruins had a shamefully bad passing offense, 116th in the country. They were also -11 in turnovers. Thankfully for them, the defense is likely to improve. Rick Neuheisel replaced his coordinators, and seems to know that he's the next to be replaced if things don't turn around in Westwood.

Prediction: 4-8

11. Colorado Buffaloes

I know why CU wanted to join the Pac-12, to get some exposure in big West Coast markets and to return to the national stage (instead of being dominated by Texas, then ignored when they play Missouri). But I don't know why the Pac-12 wanted Colorado. The Buffaloes have lost 18 straight outside of their state. They can run the ball well, which won't do them any good because the defense is so bad (especially against the pass) that they'll just be running down the clock for their opponents. Their schedule is also quite dumb. 13 games in 13 weeks, including road trips to Honolulu and Columbus, OH.

Prediction: 3-10

12. Washington State Cougars

Both the offensive and defensive lines are pushovers, which is too bad because the Cougars have a good QB, a couple of WRs, and some decent RBs. It won't matter though because they'll lose the game in the trenches.

Prediction: 1-11

PUNISH THE CONFERENCES

USC got stripped of a title, Ohio State's Jim Tressel quit, these are just the latest stories of minor corruption in big time college football.

What pisses me off is that the conferences don't get punished. The Pac-10 got $17 million for USC's appearance in the Orange Bowl that year. Why don't they have to surrender that money? If the National Title was ill-gotten, wasn't the bid to the title game?

You might ask me why I'd want to punish U-Washington for something that happened at USC. But why does some teammate of Reggie Bush get punished for what Bush did? For how many of Bush's teammates was that achievement the pinnacle of their life? Bush gets his NFL salary, his NFL endorsements, but now his former teammates have "vacated" their title. What the hell does Bush care about Wikipedia listing USC's title as vacated?

Punish the conferences for violations like this. Then the conferences will actually try to police their own schools. And the Pac-10 benefited from Bush's presence just as much as USC did. Why should the NCAA have to watch all 120 programs? How come we never hear about the BigTen uncovering some scandal within their own conference? Because they're not looking. Why would they look?

All the power in college football is held by the conferences. The conferences concocted the BCS, not the NCAA. The conferences get all the money and decide where it goes. They get rewarded for their teams' successes, so why not also hold them responsible for their violations?