Ignorant College Football Picks*

Two weeks ago my picks were 4-3, and last week I was lazy and didn't make any picks. I'm back with some ignorant, uninformed picks of this weekend's games.

Virginia Tech -17.5 vs. Bowling Green
I smell blocked kicks and INT returns.

Wake Forest -7 vs. Army
The Demon Deacons aren't good, but they're at home, and Army is winless.

UConn -1 at Western Michigan
UConn has been good.

Penn State -7 vs. Temple
Rebound day for the N-Lions.

Washington State -20 vs. Colorado
CU might be the worst team in college football.

USC -16.5 vs. Cal
Don't sell USC just because they lost to Stanford.

Auburn +21 vs. LSU
Don't think Auburn will win, but it's the SEC, it's at night, should be a closer game.

Louisville -13.5 at Florida International
Why not?

Michigan +5.5 at Notre Dame
The Irish are overrated, so are Michigan, so who is the most under-overrated?

Oklahoma -14.5 vs. Kansas State
K-State is 3-0, but it's tough to go to Norman and hang with the Sooners.

Clemson +14.5 at Florida State
Kind of a big spread. I like how Clemson plays.

Arizona +21.5 at Oregon
Immediately regret this pick.

The Ravens Don't Scare Me

I'm not guaranteeing a Patriot victory. I'm sure this game will be close, and maybe the Ravens will make a few plays, Welker will drop a pass, Gostkowski will miss a kick, and Baltimore will win. Shit happens, some players execute, some players fail. They're all human.

But there's nothing about the Ravens that has me especially nervous or anxious about this game. As good as their defense is, and as much as Tom Brady has struggled against them in the past, one unavoidable fact remains...

Their quarterback is Joe Flacco.

I'm not impressed. If the Patriots can contain Ray Rice (the way they did Chris Johnson in Week 1), then the game rests on the shoulders of the man from Deleware. The guy whose QB Rating was 18th in the NFL last year, whose completion percentage was 26th, who was 24th in yards per attempt.

I'm not scared.

And with guys like Chandler Jones chasing Flacco around all day, I'm even more not scared.

Brady still struggles with Ed Reed and the Ravens' defense, so I don't expect him to throw for 400 yards and 4 TDs. But he won't have to. Because the Ravens' QB is Joe Flacco.

Patriots 24, Ravens 20

Sox Lose Again

I don't care about the result of this game. I'm glad to see Clay Buchholz doing well. He threw 7 scoreless innings, only allowed 4 hits, and was in line for his 12th win of the season.

In the 17 starts he's made since the end of May, he's averaging over 7 innings per start, and has a 2.80 ERA. There aren't many brilliant free agent starters available this off-season, so there's a strong likelihood that Buchholz will be the best pitcher on this team in 2013... IF he can stay healthy, IF he can avoid these prolonged slumps at the start of the season, IF he can be consistent.

As for this game, Andrew Bailey totally blew it. The Sox had a 4-1 lead in the 9th and lost in undignified fashion. This was an embarrassing loss (at least it would have been if people were still watching), and the Sox have had more than a dozen of these horrible, painful, inexcusable giveaway games.

Only 11 baseball games left.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

I Like How the Patriots Handle the Media

The difference between 4 Yawkey Way and 1 Patriot Place go beyond the differences between a clustered city street and an expansive suburban roadway. Fenway Park spews and leaks information like the Titanic leaked water, while Gillette Stadium is as air-tight with info as an astronaut's helmet.

Brian Waters is the latest example. For weeks, speculative theorists like The Sportshub's Michael Felger have been berating the Patriots for being cheap with Brian Waters. They had no facts to base their criticism. These weren't sharks that detected blood, Felger was more like a blind/dead/senseless vulture bumbling around for a provocative story, making up things until something he said wound up being true.

But it wasn't. The Patriots offered Brian Waters $4 million to play this year, almost triple his $1.4 million salary. But Waters wants to stay at home in Texas. And that's his right, and his choice. Waters might want to play for the Houston Texans, but the Patriots understandably would rather not help one of their AFC rivals improve.

Felger didn't get why the Pats would "nickel and dime" a Pro Bowl lineman when Brady's protection seemed so suspect in the preseason. Instead of acknowledging that he didn't know anything, Felger assumed. And people who assume make asses out of themselves. Felger was wrong. He didn't understand the Pats nickel and diming Waters because they didn't.

I think Shawn Thornton said it best...

Anyway, as unnerving and frustrating as it can be, I like how valuable the Patriots regard information. They don't talk about anything. Even when they talk, they say nothing.

They don't mind being perceived as cheap. They don't care about perception. They don't mind jagoffs like Felger flapping their jaws and spouting rubbish. Unlike the Red Sox who desperately try to control the narratives that sports media discuss.

I remember when the Pats traded Randy Moss they actually went out of their way to debunk stories that had come out about Moss's problems with the team. The Patriots defended a popular star player they dumped. That's something the Red Sox would never do.

It seems funny to me how much criticism the Patriots get in this town, even though they're the most successful Boston sports team in this century. It's because the media doesn't get juicy gossip, doesn't get the inside scoop, they get frustrated and make things up. See: Felger, Ron Borges, John Tomase, et cetera.

Fuck the media, go Pats!

Let's Start Our Own Hockey League

The NHL has cancelled preseason games in September, and it won't be long until regular season games are erased from the schedule.

But what's to stop another league in the US and Canada from starting? And if that happened, what would we want that League to look like?

Well Florida wouldn't have any teams. If I had to pick cities that had franchises, it would be the following:

Boston
New York
Chicago
Detroit
Montreal
Toronto
Buffalo
Ottawa
Philadelphia
Los Angeles
Vancouver
Edmonton
Winnipeg
Calgary
Quebec
Pittsburgh
Newark
Washington
Raleigh
Minneapolis
Denver

That's it, 21 teams. Divide them into 3 divisions of 7 teams, or don't divide them at all. Whatever. But the root problem with this NHL labor dispute is that small-market teams can't keep pace with large ones. The players want revenue sharing to remedy this problem, the owners want players to get less money. My solution is: eradicate the small-market teams in cities where hockey is seen as a weird side-attraction.

But finding billionaire hockey fans in so many cities might be tough, so let's keep the league at 16 teams, in these cities:

Boston, New York, Chicago, Detroit, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Denver, Minneapolis, Edmonton, Calgary, Ottawa, Newark, Los Angeles

Fewer teams, higher talent level, more familiarity between teams, and no Phoenix Coyotes or Florida Panthers dragging the League down.

How hard can it be? Just adopt the NHL's rules, hire the officials, hire the players. Many of the rinks are owned by cities and states, not the NHL teams that play there. Boston might be a problem, for instance, because Jeremy Jacobs owns The Garden. But offer him high enough rent rates and he'll succumb to his greedier instincts.

To be honest, the players are the attraction. All us hockey fans love the NHL because the best players play in the NHL. We don't care about franchise rights, or anything like that.

So let us start our own League. We'll call it the North American Hockey League, and we'll plunder the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto and commandeer the Stanley Cup.

So the Red Sox Will Be Below .500

For the first time since 1997, the Red Sox will finish below .500. 1997 doesn't seem like very long ago, but remember that was the year Pedro Martinez won the Cy Young, for the Expos. The Orioles won the AL East. Nomar Garciaparra won Rookie of the Year. Derek Jeter had 385 career hits. Tom Gordon was a starting pitcher. The Marlins won the World Series.

That's how long it's been since the Red Sox lost more games than they won.

Back then, Dan Duqeutte made a trade for an Ace (Pedro), and the Sox became contenders in 1998 and 1999. The Sox could use another transaction like that.

Daisuke Matsuzaka laid another egg last night. The good news was he only walked 1. The bad news was he allowed 9 hits in 3 innings. Alfredo Aceves looked just as bad, Daniel Bard looked even worse.

I sincerely hope the Sox don't keep Matsuzaka. He's slow, and he isn't very good. If the rest of the rotation had more certainty, I wouldn't mind him as a #5 starter. But with the top of the rotation in flux, Daisuke is too much of an unknown variable.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Fire Bobby Valentine Now

If Bobby Valentine is the manager of the 2013 Red Sox, I think we'll all be stunned. For a few weeks, I didn't mind that he was sticking around. What's the difference between that and a bench coach serving as interim manager?

But Bobby Valentine is doing harm to this team. His pinch-hitting of Jose Iglesias is my Exhibit A. He pinch hits for a young AAA guy with a 2-2 count because there's a man who just stole second. And in the process, he jeopardizes a prospect's confidence, doesn't do much to win the game, and magnifies his own ego issues.

The reason the Mets dropped Valentine is that he tries too hard to impact the game. He can't just sit back, do his job, and manage. He tries to do more than that. He tries to have an effect on every single aspect of the game, the team, the organization.

He tried to provoke responses with statements to media (See: remarks about Kevin Youkilis). He tries to get youngsters motivated by putting them down (See: remarks to Will Middlebrooks). He tries to boost pitchers' self-esteem by leaving them in games. He's always trying, always failing, always reaching beyond his job description. He's not a psychologist, not a self-esteem guru, he's a friggin' baseball manager.

Bobby Valentine feels like it's his responsibility to do everything. He feels like the role of manager is the most important job on a baseball club.

It isn't.

Managers are supposed to manage. They're supposed to move players in and out of games. They're supposed to manage egos and expectations. They balance, they don't control. They're supposed to let pitchers pitch, hitters hit, and fielders field. They're not supposed to take players out of 2-2 at-bats.

Valentine is a shitty manager. There's no other way to phrase it. Every day he manages this team, he does harm to it. He infects it with his egomania, which is a mask for his lack of self-esteem.

Bobby Valentine is a psychological mess. He has Oedipal issues with his father. He's what I call an Insertive Personality, in that he feels the need to insert himself in any situation. He can't just sit back and let others do their job and succeed without his own influence. He pushes, far too much.

Most of all, Bobby Valentine is scared. He was scared of Pedroia back in April, he's scared of failure, he's scared of disappointing his father, he's scared of looking in the mirror and seeing Bobby Valentine.

Fire him and send him to a shrink.

My Favorite Brick at Fenway Park

A friend sent me this picture he took of a brick at Fenway Park. I would pay good money for this piece of masonry.