Even God Felt Bad for Savannah State

The Savannah State Tigers were losing 55-0 to Florida State in the 3rd quarter Saturday when both coaches agreed to end the game due to weather. The game had already been delayed by lightning, and more storms lingered in the area. It was in essence a Mercy Rule ending from God/Mother Nature for the Tigers.

The Seminoles were up 35-0 after the 1st quarter, and had already amassed 255 yards of offense. It was a 48-0 game at half-time, and 55-0 with 8:59 left in the 3rd when the game was called.

A week earlier, Savannah State was the victim of an 84-0 pounding from Oklahoma State.

In the two losses Savannah State allowed 1,095 total yards and only managed to gain 167, a difference of more than half a mile.

But don't feel too bad for the Tigers. They were paid for being sparring partners with two heavyweight programs. A total of $860,000 to be exact. That's a nice haul for a modest athletic program's financial needs.

And Savannah State were never anywhere near the all-time record for biggest college football blowouts. In 1916 Georgia Tech annihilated Cumberland College 222-0.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Steve Cannon

Overrating the Jets

One of the big stories from Week 1 of the NFL is how Mark Sanchez and the Jets have "silenced" their critics. How after their offense struggled in the preseason they put up 48 points. How this team was a circus in Training Camp but seems to be a well-oiled machine now that the season has started.

Here's the real story from the Jets' 48-28 win over Buffalo: the Bills suck. They turned the ball over 3 times in the 1st half, then Ryan Fitzpatrick threw a pick 6 to start the 2nd half.

Everyone seems impressed with how well the Jets did, but since when are the Bills a measuring stick for the NFL? Especially a Bills team without Fred Jackson for most of the game.

Give credit to the Jets defense, and it's nice that Sanchez threw 3 TDs, but the 48 points on the scoreboard are deceptively complimentary to the Jets offense. 7 points were from a punt return. 7 were from an interception. In total, 24 were off turnovers.

So it was a good win for the Jets, but let's not get carried away. The Bills are a bad team. And they played horribly. The Jets did their job and took advantage of mistakes. But for some reason whenever that team, with that once anointed quarterback, and that jackass of a coach win a game against a bad team, suddenly there's a new force in the AFC East.

I don't think so. This team is as illegitimate as 8 of Antonio Cromartie's 12 children.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Bill Kostroun

Welcome Back, Patriots

Yesterday our TVs were once again blessed with a sports team that tries, that cares, and that wins. It's been a long summer for sports fans in New England. Welcome back, Patriots.

Yesterday's 34-13 victory illustrated three major differences between the 2011 Patriots and the 2012 edition. We saw a wide receiver wearing #85 be a reliable target. We saw a defense capable of big plays and stops. And we saw an explosive running game.

Brandon Lloyd caught 5 passes for 69 yards. It took Chad Ochojohnson three games to catch 5 passes last year. Lloyd's 5 receptions are a third of what Ochojohnson had last year, and 69 yards is exactly 25% of Ochojonson's production in 2011 (276 yards). Lloyd made one mistake and it cost the Pats a touchdown, but his other catches demonstrated his skill as a receiver and his understanding of the Patriots' offense.

How many fantasy football people will be picking up the Patriots' DST this week? The Patriots had 2 sacks, an interception, and a forced fumble plus a recovery and touchdown. Chandler Jones and Dont'a Hightower are freaks. But they also stayed at home, did their job, and let the big plays come to them. The defense completely eliminated Tennessee's running game. Chris Johnson had 11 carries for 4 yards.

The Pats outrushed the Titans 162 to 20, and the main reason behind that was Stevan Ridley, who ran for 125 yards on 21 carries (6.0 yards per carry) and a touchdown. His first career 100 yard game. He was explosive once he got past the line of scrimmage. Five of his rushes were for 10+ yards, and four were 15+.

Having a playmaking running back is something we didn't see in 2011. Having defensive weapons making an impact is something we didn't see in 2011.

But there were some things that carried over from the previous season. Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski being brilliant, for example. Both caught 6 passes, both caught a touchdown, but both didn't execute their trademark celebrations from last year. Hernandez didn't make it rain and Gronk fumbled his mega-spike.

Another carryover was a shaky secondary. The Titans did the Pats a favor every time they ran the ball or threw dink and dump passes. The defense is still vulnerable to 8-15 yard curls and other basic mid-range routes.

Hopefully an improved pass rush can help deflect attacks on this weakness. And on offense, perhaps an improved running game can chew up clock and eat up yardage so opponents won't have enough time to exploit the secondary.

In any case, I'm just glad it's football season, the Pats are 1-0, and sports are once again fun to watch. The Cardinals come to Gillette Stadium next Sunday.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Wade Payne

Incorrect College Football Picks*

I'm going to make some college football picks, but I'm not going to research them much, I won't be trying very hard, and in all honesty you shouldn't take my advice. But maybe you shouldn't take my advice so much that you should take it. Wink, wink.

Anyway, here are my picks.

Utah -6.5 @ Utah State
Why not think the Utes will win by a TD?

UConn +3.5 vs. NC State
Well the game is up here in Storrs. So go with the Huskies.

Penn State +10 vs. Virginia
I feel a rebound coming for the Nittany Lions.

Ohio State -18 vs. Central Florida
Should be a 3+ TD game.

USC -26 vs. Syracuse
This is more than a 4 touchdown game.

Texas Tech -18 @ Texas State
TTU should cover.

Nebraska -5 @ UCLA
The Cornhuskers should win this game because they kind of need to. I don't know why, they just do.

Did You Not Realize Bobby Valentine is a Horrible Manager?

If you heard Bobby Valentine on WEEI's Big Show yesterday (listen here) you heard a man whose mental threads are becoming unwound. He's falling apart. He sounds like a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I'm not surprised. I thought hiring Bobby Valentine was a bad decision, and I think every day he isn't fired is another bad decision. He's a psychological mess, and a complete joke of a manager.

How could the Red Sox not realize how stupid it was to insert a loudmouthed, divisive, cocky, harebrained manager in a clubhouse that was already in a state of chaos? It was like releasing a lion into a den of wolves then giving them all bath salts. The resulting carnage was inevitable. And foreseeable. Yet the Sox, as well as a good number of their fans, didn't see it coming.

Some thought Valentine would bring discipline to the disorder in the Sox clubhouse. What was that notion based on? He didn't have a disciplinarian's reputation with the Mets. He'd call a few players out through the media, but that was his massive ego at work, not his authority being exercised.

And being a manager in Japan doesn't require a drill sergeant type of manager. The players there are disciplined already. Keeping a Japanese clubhouse in order is like being a janitor at an OCD convention. The job is already done.

Why did the Red Sox, one of the premier franchises in the 21st century, stoop so low as to hire a manager that no MLB team wanted for 9 years? How did the team, and some of the fans, convince themselves that this guy was a Major League caliber manager? He helped create a cluster-fuck in New York, then no team wanted him for nearly a decade, and that didn't raise any red flags for the Sox?

Once again, the Red Sox Front Office thought they were smarter than everyone else.

Compounding the problem was the fact that the GM wanted somebody else to manage, but was overruled by the real power broker on Yawkey Way: Larry Lucchino. Then Bobby V tried to motivate Kevin Youkilis by calling him out in the press. One bark from Dustin Pedroia and Valentine tucked tail and ran. Lucchino and Red Sox ownership did nothing to back their man. They stayed out of the way, just like Valentine stayed out of the way when Pedroia and Alfredo Aceves were nose-to-nose this past weekend.

The ownership did nothing to support the bad manager that they hired despite the GM wanting someone else. That is a perfect demonstration of how dysfunctional things are with this team.

It's not fair to dump all the blame for this season on Valentine's shoulders. Had Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, and Clay Buchholz done their jobs then Valentine would still be secure in his.

At the same time, Bobby V's season has been one bungle after another. He tries these zany, non-traditional motivational techniques. He called out Youkilis. He made that sarcastic remark to Will Middlebrooks. He leaves pitchers in games to build their confidence. He kept Aaron Cook in a game with his leg sliced open, probably in an attempt to encourage his players.

These things are too far out, too crazy. They don't motivate, they alienate.

It's not Valentine's fault that the ownership gave the players an audience when they whined about minor issues. But part of being a manager is to be respected and the players don't respect him. And neither do I. His cocky swagger masks an encyclopedia of psychological issues. Which wouldn't be a problem in and of itself except that his issues affect how he manages. And he's just not a good manager.

He deflects and redirects criticism instead of ignoring/absorbing it like Terry Francona did. He tries to use the media as a motivational tool instead of treating them as outsiders. He's inconsistent with how he treats players. He irritates and divides the clubhouse.

And ultimately, he can't get out of his own way.

Liverpool FC Sucks Too

Liverpool lost 2-0 to Arsenal on Sunday. They've played 3 games and remain winless, losing twice and drawing once. It's Liverpool's worst start since 1962, and the team currently sit in 18th place. The fans are blaming the struggles on the team's lack of a forward striker. They're mad at John Henry for not shelling out the cash to buy a forward before the transfer window closed (there are only certain times during the year that players can change teams, the next window is in 4 months).

In response to the criticism, John Henry does what he and Larry Lucchino have done to Red Sox fans: write an open letter.

You can read it here. Basically, he blames the previous regime, claims he didn't want to overpay for mediocre talent, that he wants Liverpool to be a long-term contender not just improve slightly in the short-term, blames the previous regime again, and ends by saying "our ownership is not about profit."

My favorite line was "Contrary to popular opinion, owners rarely get involved in sports in order to generate cash." Apparently Mr. Henry never met Jeremy Jacobs, or any owner of an NFL team, or saw Eight Men Out. Just ask an NFL referee how unconcerned with profits owners are.

Liverpool fans are upset because they thought new ownership would infuse their team with new cash so they could compete with the Manchester Uniteds and Chelseas of the world. Sorry, mates, but Henry isn't an oil tycoon looking to supplement his ego by spending money improving a soccer team and winning trophies.

He bought Liverpool because it had an old, cherished yet undervalued and underexploited brand. But the jawless Henry bit off more than he can chew (which isn't difficult for a man whose mouth is so small). The competition and the spending in European soccer is too much for him to handle. He's a slow, aging predator that's trying to compete for food with sharks.

I do love the open-letter strategy. Who is naive enough to be suckered in by such an artificial attempt to bond with the fans?

I think there's a basic template for the Fenway Sports Group open-letter. Here's what it looks like:

1. Paragraph about understanding and feeling the fans' frustrations
2. Point out positive performance of certain players (e.g. Cody Ross)
3. Mention the talent that's remained with the team
4. Compliment and support current GM/managers
5. Explain to the simple-minded fans why our strategy is ingenious, even if they don't understand it, and even if on-field results have yet to manifest how smart we are
6. Blame the past for present and (most importantly) future difficulties
7. Use the word "ethos"
8. Say: "It will not be easy, it will not be perfect, but there is a clear vision at work."
9. Allude to the history of the team and the desire to return team to glory
10. Promise to be better

In the open-letter, mention at least 5 players and 1 front-office person or field manager. And use as many 1st person plural pronouns as possible.

Who else wants to beat the tar out of John Henry? He's a cocky, smells-his-own-farts, overly talkative prick. He doesn't know anything about baseball or soccer. He's some Midwestern carpetbagger that doesn't give a damn about Boston or Liverpool or the Red Sox or Liverpool FC. He uses these teams to build himself an ego and earn himself enough money to buy another team.

My open letter to John Henry:

Dear John,
Go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,
Rob

The Red Sox Are at Rock Bottom

I hope everyone had a fun Labor Day weekend. Speaking of which, watching the Red Sox has become a labor. After yesterday's 4-1 loss in Seattle, the Sox have dropped 7 in a row. They're 9-22 since the start of August. 9-22. That's .290 baseball. They've been outscored 60 to 16 on this West Coast trip.

The rotation has deteriorated to the point that it's hard to call some of these guys starters. They're more like low-grade middle-relievers that happen to be the first pitcher on the mound. Aaron Cook has nothing. Felix Doubront has nothing. Daisuke Matsuzaka has had a few brilliant moments, but more painful ones. Clay Buchholz hasn't been bad, hasn't been good.

The offense doesn't exist. Dustin Pedroia is red hot (and collected his 1,000th career hit yesterday) but the rest of the lineup is a hole-ridden patchwork of underachieving disappointments and role players that have regressed to the mean. Jacoby Ellsbury is hitting .262. Ryan Lavarnway isn't showing any of the power he showed last season.

If you're able to watch this team without drinking, or using the broadcast as some sort of drinking game (take a sip every time Bobby Valentine smiles, pound a beer every time Don Orsillo giggles uncontrollably. take a shot when Jenny Dell mispronounces something), you must have the patience of a saint. Or you're a masochist.

This team sucks, blows, stinks, and sucks.

Jon Lester faces Blake Beavan, who is a cartoon creation of Mike Judge. Thankfully the game starts at 10 so you can fall asleep or pass out without enduring another 9 innings of torture.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Patriots Prune Roster, Cut Branch

The Patriots made some surprising cuts today as they trim their roster down to 53. They let go of Deion Branch, backup QB Brian Hoyer, veteran lineman Dan Koppen, and UMass DB James Ihedigbo.

Cutting Branch surprises me, especially after the Pats parted ways with Donte Stallworth and Jabar Gaffney. Branch seemed to have the #3 WR spot to himself, behind Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd on the depth chart.

Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if this were some way to reduce Branch's guaranteed money or something. Cut him, then sign him back. The Pats do stuff like this. If Branch really wasn't up to the Pats' standards, why wait until today to release him?

I'm surprised to see Hoyer cut. The Patriots might want to replace him with a veteran. If Brady gets hurt and misses an extended portion of the season, the Pats are essentially sunk. But if it's just a few games or half a game, then a veteran is preferable.

Does the release of Dan Koppen mean that Brian Waters is back? If Waters isn't back, the Patriots need Koppen. So maybe this cut signifies that they don't need him because Waters will play.

I don't fully understand these moves, but I have faith in the Patriots and Belichick.