Lester, Beckett, Buchholz, Doubront, Bard. That will be what the Red Sox rotation will look like to start the season. And maybe Jordan's Furniture should give away free stuff if that rotation looks the same in September. Or even May.
You'll notice the absence of Alfredo Aceves. Rumor has it that Andrew Bailey is injured and when asked about that injury, all Bobby Valentine could do was place a finger to his lips and pretend to gag. Which I guess is the same as Bill Belichick saying "we can't comment on that player because we don't fully know that player's status at this time."
Aceves could go to the bullpen while Bailey recovers, possibly assuming the closer's role.
This rotation is unique. A career #2 pitcher as the #1, a guy who's been an Ace in the past and has also sucked in the past as a #2, a recovering back injury in the #3 spot, a puzzling quadruple-A pitcher in the #4 spot, a converted reliever who struggled as a minor league starter as the #5 pitcher, and the closer's role filled by a guy who has performed decently as a starter.
All with Bobby Valentine using gestures and jokes to talk about the team.
Even if this rotation proves disastrous, it will at least be interesting and entertaining to see the disaster unfold. It's like a Michael Bay movie. Only Bay is more willing to spend money.