Email your bosses now and tell them you won't be in on Tuesday. You'll be nursing a hangover the size of Jon Gruden's ego after playing this drinking game during tonight's Patriots game against the Chiefs...
Anytime a commentator says:
"City" = take 1 drink from a beer
"Brady" = 1 drink
"No huddle" = 1 drink
"Crowd noise" = 1 drink
"Weapons" = 1 drink
"Revis" = 1 drink
"Island" = 1 drink
"Hoomanawanui" or a variation = 1 drink
"Offensive line" = 1 drink
Anytime Jon Gruden...
Says "this guy" = 1 drink
Gives a player a nickname (e.g. "the sheriff") = 1 drink
Laughs = 1 drink
Makes the other commentator(s) laugh = 1 drink
Gushes about a player's body parts = 1 drink
Forces you to mute the TV = finish your beer
Anytime this is on screen:
Andy Reid as Eagles head coach = drink the entire time he's on screen
Tom Brady on the ground (live or in highlights) = take 1 shot of hard liquor
Robert Kraft = drink entire time he's on screen
Kraft talking to someone = drink an extra 15 seconds
A player or coach using a tablet = 1 drink
Danny Amendola = finish your beer
Anytime this happens:
Penalty flag = 1 drink
Touchback = 1 drink
A kickoff return = drink during entire return
Peyton Manning commercial = 1 drink the first commercial, 2 the second, and so on
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink
You can actually hear Brady's cadence = 1 drink
Brady looks angry = 1 drink
Stevan Ridley runs the ball and doesn't fumble = 1 drink
Ridley fumbles = finish your beer
You actually see Danny Amendola = 1 drink
Brady throws to Amendola = half a beer
Amendola catches a pass = full beer
You're worried that Julian Edelman is hurt = 1 drink
Chandler Jones makes a big play = 1 drink
Vince Wilfork sacks the QB = 1 drink
Wilfork forces a fumble or intercepts the ball = 1 drink, 1 turkey leg, shot of gravy
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = full beer, full turkey dinner with all the trimmings, 12 ounces of gravy
You realize KC has a better baseball team than we do = full beer, 3 shots
Get lubed up responsibly.
Showing posts with label Kansas City Royals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kansas City Royals. Show all posts
Monday, September 29, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
It's more expensive to replace Jon Lester than to sign him
Against the Royals Sunday, Jon Lester threw 8 scoreless innings, allowing only 4 hits and striking out 8. It was his 10th win of the season for a team that's had difficulty reaching .500. Lester is 4th in the AL in ERA (2.50), 8th in WHIP (1.12), 6th in strikeouts (142), 4th in innings (137.0), tied for 5th in quality starts (15), and 8th in opposing OPS (.634).
The Red Sox are 13-7 (.650) when he pitches, 33-45 (.428) when he doesn't. This year if you have tickets to a Jon Lester game, you're 52% more likely to see a Red Sox win. Even though he's 41st in run support (3.35 runs per game). Only 3 other full-time AL starters get worse run support (Jake Peavy is one of them).
With each victory, his impending contract grows fatter and fatter.
But is he worth the years? Is he worth the dollars? What if the cost is $150 million for 6 years? What if it's more?
Wrong questions. The question isn't "Is Jon Lester worth X?" The question is "What would Jon Lester cost to replace?"
You might replace Jon Lester with another ace-like pitcher, which would require a similarly juicy contract. So unless you acquire someone better, what's the point? Or you could also replace him with a combination of pitchers and hitters that improve the team, spreading that money among several arms and bats. However, buying enough arms and bats to make up for Lester's absence would cost more than keeping Lester.
It's usually unwise to take a team that needs a complete overhaul, like the Red Sox, and do something that makes them worse. It's like being out of food in your house, and deciding to throw out your refrigerator before you go get groceries. You're giving yourself a much bigger problem to deal with.
This team's lineup is in horrible shape. Two starters in Sunday's game had averages below .200. Six had averages below .250. The 2015 Sox will need a catcher, two guys on the left side of the infield, along with a couple of outfielders. Looking farther ahead, David Ortiz turns 39 in a few months. So that bat will need to be replaced someday.
Taking Lester out of the equation would put more onus on the offense to carry this team. Which means the team would need to spend money to fill these holes in the lineup. Lots of money. The Red Sox seem to want to give young, inexpensive talent a chance to find a place in the Majors. Without Lester, however, an offense like that will be losing games 5-3 instead of winning them 3-2.
The offense needs work. Keeping Jon Lester will ensure that the cost of that work doesn't need to be catastrophically expensive in order to win.
Lester's leaving would also affect the bullpen. He's averaging 6.85 innings per start. If you assume the 9th being pitched by the closer, on average Lester's starts require a mere 0.15 innings of middle-relief work. Remove Lester from the rotation and now the bullpen is forced to use another set-up guy once a week. Add that to the cost of not signing Lester.
The most obvious area affected by Lester's departure would be the rotation. The unfortunate truth of Boston baseball in 2014 is that the Sox rotation after Lester and John Lackey is weak and unreliable. And Lackey turns 36 in October. He also has a potential payday ahead of him, or a retirement.
The Sox are 12th in team ERA this year at 3.76. Remove Lester and the team ERA increases to 3.99, 21st in baseball.
The Sox are 7th in quality starts with 58. Lester's 15 are slightly more than a fourth of those. Without them the Sox have 43, which would put them in 25th. Even if the Sox replaced Lester with a guy who had 10 quality starts at this point, the Sox would fall from 7th to 14th.
Lester lifts the rotation, balancing out the weakness and unreliability at the bottom with strength and consistency at the top.
Replacing Jon Lester with another pitcher of his caliber will cost the same as signing Jon Lester. If the Sox let Lester walk, they'll spend more money in other areas to make up for his absence. Another starting pitcher would need to be signed, the bullpen would need to be bolstered, the offense would need to be dramatically improved to make up for the weaker starting pitching.
The less expensive thing to do is to sign Jon Lester. Even if the money seems absurd, even if he's 36 at the end of the deal and the Sox are weighed down by a $25M/year salary, it will be cheaper than trying to improve the team once he's gone.
Photo Credit:
Michael Dwyer/AP Photo
The Red Sox are 13-7 (.650) when he pitches, 33-45 (.428) when he doesn't. This year if you have tickets to a Jon Lester game, you're 52% more likely to see a Red Sox win. Even though he's 41st in run support (3.35 runs per game). Only 3 other full-time AL starters get worse run support (Jake Peavy is one of them).
With each victory, his impending contract grows fatter and fatter.
But is he worth the years? Is he worth the dollars? What if the cost is $150 million for 6 years? What if it's more?
Wrong questions. The question isn't "Is Jon Lester worth X?" The question is "What would Jon Lester cost to replace?"
You might replace Jon Lester with another ace-like pitcher, which would require a similarly juicy contract. So unless you acquire someone better, what's the point? Or you could also replace him with a combination of pitchers and hitters that improve the team, spreading that money among several arms and bats. However, buying enough arms and bats to make up for Lester's absence would cost more than keeping Lester.
It's usually unwise to take a team that needs a complete overhaul, like the Red Sox, and do something that makes them worse. It's like being out of food in your house, and deciding to throw out your refrigerator before you go get groceries. You're giving yourself a much bigger problem to deal with.
This team's lineup is in horrible shape. Two starters in Sunday's game had averages below .200. Six had averages below .250. The 2015 Sox will need a catcher, two guys on the left side of the infield, along with a couple of outfielders. Looking farther ahead, David Ortiz turns 39 in a few months. So that bat will need to be replaced someday.
Taking Lester out of the equation would put more onus on the offense to carry this team. Which means the team would need to spend money to fill these holes in the lineup. Lots of money. The Red Sox seem to want to give young, inexpensive talent a chance to find a place in the Majors. Without Lester, however, an offense like that will be losing games 5-3 instead of winning them 3-2.
The offense needs work. Keeping Jon Lester will ensure that the cost of that work doesn't need to be catastrophically expensive in order to win.
Lester's leaving would also affect the bullpen. He's averaging 6.85 innings per start. If you assume the 9th being pitched by the closer, on average Lester's starts require a mere 0.15 innings of middle-relief work. Remove Lester from the rotation and now the bullpen is forced to use another set-up guy once a week. Add that to the cost of not signing Lester.
The most obvious area affected by Lester's departure would be the rotation. The unfortunate truth of Boston baseball in 2014 is that the Sox rotation after Lester and John Lackey is weak and unreliable. And Lackey turns 36 in October. He also has a potential payday ahead of him, or a retirement.
The Sox are 12th in team ERA this year at 3.76. Remove Lester and the team ERA increases to 3.99, 21st in baseball.
The Sox are 7th in quality starts with 58. Lester's 15 are slightly more than a fourth of those. Without them the Sox have 43, which would put them in 25th. Even if the Sox replaced Lester with a guy who had 10 quality starts at this point, the Sox would fall from 7th to 14th.
Lester lifts the rotation, balancing out the weakness and unreliability at the bottom with strength and consistency at the top.
Replacing Jon Lester with another pitcher of his caliber will cost the same as signing Jon Lester. If the Sox let Lester walk, they'll spend more money in other areas to make up for his absence. Another starting pitcher would need to be signed, the bullpen would need to be bolstered, the offense would need to be dramatically improved to make up for the weaker starting pitching.
The less expensive thing to do is to sign Jon Lester. Even if the money seems absurd, even if he's 36 at the end of the deal and the Sox are weighed down by a $25M/year salary, it will be cheaper than trying to improve the team once he's gone.
Photo Credit:
Michael Dwyer/AP Photo
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Jon Lester for Wil Myers?

Firstly, both these players annoy me with how they spell their names. Wil Myers's full name is William Myers. What did he do with that extra 'L?' And do his friends call him "Bil" or "Wily?" I find his name to be sily.
If this move exists, which it doesn't, the Sox should do it. Jon Lester is what he is. He's at best a 2/3 type of starter. He never took that step forward to being an Ace, and instead took several steps backward last season. His greatest strength, before last season, was his dependability. And now that's gone.
How important is Jon Lester to the long-term (next 5 years) success of this team? I don't think he's exceptionally valuable. I also think replacing him (even upgrading from him) isn't difficult.
Wil Myers is a prospect with tremendous upside and great minor league numbers (he hit 37 HRs in AA and AAA last year, with a .304 AAA average, .378 OBP, and .554 SLG). He has no Major League experience, and prospects are never guaranteed, but he's got the potential.
He could be an All-Star caliber player for 15 years to come. He can play the outfield and third base so it's easy for him to make his way into a lineup.
And perhaps most importantly, he could help the Red Sox acquire the Ace they covet. With Myers, the Red Sox can offer a trade package much more tantalizing to bad teams that have great pitchers.
So the Sox should pull the trigger on this nonexistent gun.
The deal doesn't make much sense for KC, though. They'd get Lester for one year and pay him $13 million. Then he'd hit free agency. Why would a small market team give up a blue chip prospect to rent a mediocre pitcher?
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Royal Flushed

The Red Sox failed at a number of little things last night. Catching a ball on a bounce thrown in from the outfield. That's not too hard is it?
The Sox failed at a number of large things last night. Getting hits with runners in scoring position. Failing to make Bruce Chen look like Bruce Chen.
I'm still waiting for Lester to be as elite as he claimed he ought to be viewed as. He wasn't bad last night. He could've had more help behind him. But he hasn't been an Ace this year, he hasn't even been a good #2. He's 1-3 with a 4.29 ERA and he's had 30+ pitch innings in 4 starts already. He's got to be more efficient than that.
And elite pitchers are able to pitch around bad calls and bad luck.
This was the tenth series of the season for the Sox. They've lost 7 and won 3. Close to a fifth of the season is gone and the Sox are on pace for 65 wins.
They open a 4 game series with the Indians, who lead the AL Central. Derek Lowe, who I'm told is a very respectable golfer, opposes Josh Beckett. Tee-time, I mean first pitch is scheduled for 7:10pm. I'm going to milk that Beckett story until I get cheese.
Photo Credit:
AP Photo
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Baserunners Bother Balking Bard, and the Bullpen Blows

Last night he became preoccupied with baserunners in the 2nd inning. And in that one inning he threw a wild pitch, balked twice, and surrendered 3 runs. And it could have been much worse.
He was able to get over it and move on. Which is one very promising thing I've noticed in his starts.
He kept his pitch count low, but started to struggle in the 7th. He got out of a jam thanks to some bunts, but walked two to lead off the 8th. And with no Daniel Bard in the bullpen, Valentine was forced to bring in Albers. Who gave up a 3 run homer.
Right now, especially with Cook and Matsuzaka on the DL and Buchholz struggling, the Sox need Bard in the rotation. But if these guys get healthy, I think you have to consider moving Bard back to the pen. While you get more innings from him in the rotation, what's the point of getting 7 good innings from him or any starter if the bullpen can't consistently give you 2 good innings to close the game.
Anyway, Will Middlebrooks left the game with tightness in his hamstring. Hopefully that's just a precautionary thing. He was 1 for 1 with a double, and is the first player since Enos Slaughter to start off his career with extra-base hits in each of his first 5 games.
Jon Lester faces Bruce Chen tonight. Chen is 0-4, with a few good starts and a few horrible starts.
Photo Credit:
AP Photo
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
So That's What a Sox Win Looks Like

Will Middlebrooks has impressed me as a hitter. He hit two more homeruns. He knocked in 5, all with 2 outs. That's the type of clutch hitting the Sox have been missing.
The Sox got 16 hits and walked 7 times. They combined to hit 4 homers, 3 doubles, and a triple.
Doubront pitched well enough. Although I don't know why Valentine didn't pull him after 105 pitches. This is a converted reliever, a #5 starter. As much as the bullpen has struggled this season, I'll take a fresh Vicente Padilla over a 105+ pitch Felix Doubront in any situation. What are you going to realistically get from Doubront after 105 pitches?
Valentine's pitching decisions haven't made much sense to me. I don't think he's that good of a manager.
The Red Sox need to capitalize on this trip to Kansas City. Bard faces Danny Duffy tonight. Who is Danny Duffy? He's some dude that throws baseballs for the Royals. He's not that good.
Photo Credit:
AP Photo
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