King William Belichick, Lord Thomas Brady, and Sir Robert Gronkowski Give Rams a Good Thrashing

The Patriots finally beat an NFC West opponent, as they pounded the Rams in London.

Some were worried about this game because the Patriots have a horrible pass defense and Sam Bradford is a decent QB. But the Rams have their own problems. The Patriots took advantage of the Rams weak offensive line. The Pats drew penalties from an aggressive secondary. And the running game sliced and diced all day.

When this offense doesn't hiccup and continues to apply pressure on an opponent, it makes life easy for the defense. Whenever the Pats execute properly and take a 3 possession lead, their chances of winning escalate exponentially. When the offense stutters and stalls, opponents can claw their way back.

The offense doesn't need to put up 31+ every week, but when they have a chance to build a sizable lead, they MUST take advantage of it. Otherwise it's up to the defense, and that's not something you can depend on much. This team wins with offense.

Stevan Ridley rushed for 127 yards, 88 in the 3rd quarter alone. Both he and Shane Vereen ran for TDs.

Tom Brady had his 50th 300+ yard game, as well as his 40th consecutive game with a TD pass. Rob Gronkowski and Brandon Lloyd each caught a pair of touchdowns. Zoltan Mesko's feet didn't touch the ball until 12:24 into the 3rd quarter. The Patriots made it to the end zone on their first five drives.

That fake spike on 1st and goal was a trick play I didn't mind seeing. The timing appropriate, the risk was minimal. That's the type of trickery I want to see from Josh McDaniels. Nothing more.

Defensively, the Pats were able to tee off on Bradford, thanks to the big lead. Chandler Jones had his 6th sack of the season.

It was nice to be bored during the 4th quarter.

Bye week then the Bills are in town. So two bye weeks.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Patriots-Rams Drinking Game

Here's a drinking game to play as the Pats play the Rams in London.

Anytime a commentator says...
"Cheers" - take a drink of beer
"Cheerio" - 2 drinks
"Tallyho" - entire beer
Anything about the New England Patriots being in old England - 1 drink
A British word we don't use (example: calling an elevator a lift) - 1 drink
"Tea time" - 1 drink, do so with pinky in air
"Scotland" - shot of scotch
"Ireland" - shot of Jameson or a Guinness
"Harry Potter" or anything from the Harry Potter series - 1 drink by anyone who has read them or seen the movies, 7 drinks for anyone who hasn't
Anything about hurricanes - 1 drink
"Kurt Warner" - 1 drink
"Marshall Faulk" - 1 drink
Mention of Marshall and Kevin Faulk being cousins - drink for 33 seconds

Anytime this is on the screen...
Highlights from Super Bowl XXXVI - drink for 36 seconds
James Bond - drink for 007 seconds
Abbey Road (that street from The Beatles album cover) - 1 drink
London Bridge - 1 drink
Tower of London - 1 drink
The Queen - 1 drink
Any member of Royal Family - 1 drink
Soccer match - 1 drink
Rugby match - 1 entire beer
Cricket - 1 drink and some tea
Parliament and/or Big Ben - 1 drink
A pub - 1 drink from a warm beer
A Beefeater (those guards that don't move) - 1 shot of Beefeater gin or vodka
Paul McCartney - 1 drink
Richard Branson - 1 drink
Bob Kraft - 1 drink
Bob Kraft and Richard Branson - 1 drink and a virgin Bloody Mary
Bob Kraft talking - drink the entire time he talks
Weather map - 1 drink
Person in Halloween costume - 1 drink
Jack o lantern - 1 shot of Jack Daniels or a Jack and Coke
British food - 1 drink, then vomit

Anytime this happens...
Tom Brady says "Alpha Milk" - 1 drink
The Patriots go no huddle - 1 drink per snap
The Rams get a 10+ yard reception - 1 drink (please call a taxi)
Patriots first down - 1 drink
Brandon Lloyd is targeted but doesn't catch the ball - half a beer
Sebastian Vollmer's European roots are discussed - 1 German beer or a shot of Jägermeister
Zoltan Mesko's European roots are discussed - 1 drink, if you have Romanian beer you win the game automatically
Kickoff touchback - 1 drink
Kickoff return - drink until the return is over
Gronkowski spikes the ball - 1 drink
Gronkowski scores and DOESN'T spike the ball - whole beer and a shot
Vince Wilfork sack or tackle for a loss - 1 drink
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers turnover - 1 whole beer
Vince Wilfork returns turnover for TD - 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 turkey leg

Get lubed up responsibly.

Why There Will Never Be an NFL Team in London

There hasn't been much talk about the NFL moving a team to London this week, but it's always been a topic of discussion when this game is played. There will never be an American football team based in London and here's why:

Time/Distance
Because of the time zone difference, you can't have night games in London unless they start at 1:00am local time. So no Thursday, Monday, or Sunday night football. A 4:25pm game would have to start at 9:25pm in London. No night games in London or when the London team is on the road.

There's also the considerable jet lag teams would suffer flying to and from Britain. Because of this, the London team itself would probably have the best home-field advantage in the NFL. And would struggle the most on the road. Especially West Coast games. San Diego is 5,500 miles and 8 time zones from London.

Lack of Rivals
The Packers have the Bears, the Giants have the Eagles. The Patriots have the Jets. Who would be London's rival? The Patriots would be closest, at about 3,200 miles. And Washington was burned by the British in 1814. Somehow I don't think much animosity has carried into the 21st century.

Exchange Rate
Due to the cap, players in London would get paid the same amount as their counterparts in the States. Due to the exchange rate, their money would be worth less. $100 equals £62.23. And something that costs £100 costs $161. So players would effectively have less money to spend on houses, cars, strippers, et cetera. So if Darnell Dockett wanted to tweet a picture of $100k, it'd be £62,230 in British notes.

Brits Don't Like the Game
They prefer rugby for a physical sport. And of course soccer is king. While most Americans view soccer as boring and devoid of action, the Brits like that it doesn't pause (how many pauses are in a football game? well over a hundred), and the game can change in an instant. Scoring is rare in soccer, which makes it tense, and one goal could decide the game. Many Brits see our football as slow, hiccuping action, and they don't like the pads.

Having an NFL team in London would be like having a hockey team in the Arizona desert. Thankfully, the NFL isn't as dumb as the NHL.

Ignorant College Football Pics*

Be advised, this post includes pictures of scantily clad women showing school pride, among other things.

Last week my picks were 7-7, bringing my season total to 40-34-1. Here are my selections for this weekend's games:

Louisville -3.5 vs. Cincinnati
Tight race atop the Big East. Nobody cares.

Texas -19 @ Kansas
Longhorns should roll in Lawrence.

South Carolina -13.5 @ Tennessee
Cocks should repeatedly violate the Vols.

Arkansas -6 vs. Ole Miss
Home field advantage.

North Carolina -7.5 vs. NC State
I finally believe in the Tar Heels. So they'll probably lose.

Maryland +2 @ Boston College
BC hasn't beaten an FBS team.

Duke +27.5 @ Florida State
Has the looks of a scare game, FSU wins but doesn't cover.

Texas Tech +7.5 @ Kansas State
Tech's only loss was to Oklahoma. And they crushed WVU just like K-State did.

Oklahoma State -7 vs. TCU
TCU will learn how hard the road is in the Big XII.

Wisconsin -6 vs. Michigan State
Tough to win in Madison.

USC -6.5 @ Arizona
Why not?

Georgia +7 vs. Florida (Jacksonville)
Yes. Upset in Jacksonville.

Ohio State +1 @ Penn State
Rare time I'll be rooting for OSU, so they'll likely lose.

Vanderbilt -32.5 vs. UMass
The Minutemen are struggling to adjust to FBS.

Syracuse +2.5 @ South Florida
Vomit.

Michigan +2 @ Nebraska
Interesting divisional races in Big Ten.

Oklahoma -11.5 vs. Notre Dame
When they win, OU tends to win by a decent margin.

Mississippi State +24 @ Alabama
The Bulldogs are a legit threat to win the SEC West and Bama might be thinking a week ahead to LSU. Could be close.

Oregon State -3 @ Washington
I like Beavers.

Buffalo Bills to Get New Stadium on Waterfront?

I know this has little to do with Boston or New England, but half my family is from Western New York, so shut up and read the post.

Some crazy millionaire proposed building a 70,000 seat retractable roof stadium as part of an "entertainment complex" on the waterfront in Buffalo. This is not a proposal by the Bills, or the NFL, or the city of Buffalo, or the state of New York. It's just some guy with some money with an idea.

The guy is Nicholas Stracick, a former MLB umpire who sued Walt Disney and won a huge settlement. He accused Disney of stealing the idea for their Wide World of Sports theme park.

So this guy is insane, and this scheme is still in the backroom plotting phase. It's not a real plan.

Although it makes sense in some ways. The Bills currently play in an antiquated aluminium bowl in Orchard Park, 15 miles south of Buffalo. But the Bills are a regional team. They draw fans from Rochester, Syracuse, and southern Ontario. And a stadium in Buffalo would be easier to get to than the current one in Orchard Park.

I don't know how much of an economic boon this would be for Western New York. This millionaire wants to include a hotel and a museum in this complex. And wants the taxpayers to shoulder 30% of the $1.4 billion bill.

But for the team, it'd be good. For the NFL, it'd be good. The Bills need a new stadium, and the NFL needs the Bills to have a new stadium. Maybe this particular plan isn't the right plan, but something needs to change with the Bills and their stadium.

And good luck to the architect that has to design a retractable roof that can withstand 50 inches lake effect snow.

Carlton Fisk Charged for DUI

What happens to someone when they park their F-150 in a cornfield? Maybe an embarrassing conversation with the property owner. What happens when they are found unconscious in that F-150 with an open bottle of vodka? A citation for DUI. Even if they are Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk.

Police in New Lenox, Illinois received calls about a pickup truck in a cornfield. They found Fisk passed out in the truck, with an open bottle of vodka. Fisk agreed to go to a hospital, but refused a blood alcohol test. Police issued him a citation for DUI, and for a lane violation (yeah, seriously), and illegal transportation of alcohol. He posted bond and was released.

This comes one day after the anniversary of Fisk doing this:

Maybe he was celebrating, or maybe he misses the thrill of the game, or maybe he didn't start drinking vodka until he parked safely in the cornfield. Perhaps a voice told him "If you drink it, he will come."

Bobby Valentine Throws David Ortiz Under the Bus

Bobby Valentine didn't make easy for himself in Boston. He tried to use the media as a tool but wound up injuring himself, like a child playing with a rotary saw. He still hasn't learned his lesson.

In an interview with Bob Costas on NBC Sports, Bobby V accused David Ortiz of quitting on the team once the Sox traded Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford on August 25th.

Hey Bobby, you're lucky Ortiz was trying until August 25th. And why should he push himself in a meaningless September? Why jeopardize that Achilles? Both David Ortiz and the Red Sox need that Achilles in functioning condition next year.

And that's assuming Valentine's accusations hold any merit. Which is quite an assumption. In the same interview Valentine denied that he ever said "Nice inning, kid," to Will Middlebrooks. What's particularly insane about that is that Valentine was the one who told the media he'd said that to Middlebrooks.

Bobby V has some deep-rooted psychological issues. He thinks these lies he tells are the truth. He's like Matt Damon in The Informant!.

Valentine also mentioned that front office personnel were frequently in his office before and after games. Although he had nothing but praise and sympathy for Larry Lucchino and ownership.

In Spring Training, Valentine berated Mike Aviles for not executing a relay drill properly. Valentine had never explained the drill to the players, so they confronted him about screaming at Aviles. In the interview with Costas, Valentine alluded to this attitude from the players: "I think that is unique to that group of guys. I don’t think it’s indigenous to all of baseball, or at least I pray it’s not."

The Sox have plenty of attitude problems, but this instance was Bobby Valentine's ego getting in his own way. And the incident probably ruined any chance he'd have at being respected by the players here. Why would you respect a manager who doesn't tell you what he expects you to do, then yells at you for not doing it?

That incident with Aviles was the beginning of the end for Valentine. And ironically it was Aviles who was sent to Toronto in exchange for Valentine's replacement.

Bobby Valentine is the least credible personality in all of sports. Because what he views as reality just isn't real.

Red Sox Have New Manager, Zach Greinke Should Be Next

The Red Sox decided to be quick about finding a replacement for Bobby Valentine and they've done that. They've hired John Farrell and done so before the World Series even started. The managerial position is now in order, but that's only a small part of the problems with this Red Sox team.

Let's be blunt here. This isn't a good team. It hasn't finished above 3rd place since 2009, and hasn't won a playoff game since 2008. They had talent on paper, but that hasn't translated into success on the field. Especially with the pitching.

The Red Sox do have money. The LA Dodgers very generously took a lot of bad financial commitments off the Red Sox' ledger. How to spend it to improve the team?

I like Zack Greinke. He's not an Ace, but he's a solid pitcher that can provide some stability to a very chaotic rotation. He was 15-5 with a 3.48 ERA last year, which would have made him the best starter on the Sox.

What I like most about Greinke is innings. He can give you 210 to 220 innings. Starting pitchers who go deep into games help preserve a bullpen and prevent a weak bullpen from being overexposed.

He turned 29 this past weekend so he has a number of good years ahead of him.

This team won't become a World Series contender overnight, or in one off-season. And having Greinke as a #1 pitcher isn't enough to get you there. But Greinke would only be the #1 pitcher in 2013. In 2014 and beyond, he could be this team's #2 or even #3, behind some much better pitching. He's a foundation guy that can make a rotation deep. And deep rotations=playoff contention.