Speculating About Josh McDaniels

I love the sports media. All media, really. They all follow the same formula when "following" a story.

Step 1: Find an interesting fact. In this case, the fact that Josh McDaniels is actively refusing head coaching vacancies. But simply regurgitating facts isn't enough to justify a journalist's paycheck. We need to know why and it's the journalist's job to tell us.

After step 1, the journalist has an option, A difficult Step 2 or an easy Step 2.

Difficult Step 2: Find out why the fact is. Do research, ask questions, contact sources, dig through records. Do some serious journalism to find out why the fact from Step 1 is so.

Easy Step 2: Speculate why. Guess. It's not only easier and faster, you get to choose the most sensational guess to cover and discuss. So the story is always as interesting as possible.

Step 3: Opine. Give opinions. If you are on the speculative track, your opinions should reflect that by being strong, extreme, and inflexible. Because it's best to have a solid, immovable opinion when your facts are flimsy.

Facts and truth have little to do with journalism. At least not the journalism that anyone reads or cares about. And this lack of facts is not just true in the sports media, by the way, it's politics, entertainment, financial news. Everything. Interesting speculation and extreme opinions get more attention than simple facts and moderate opinions.

So here's my sensational Josh McDaniels speculation: I think if the Patriots win this Super Bowl, Bill Belichick will retire within a month. He'll set up his heir-apparent McDaniels with a team that still has Brady, and has a young talented defense. Belichick gets to retire but his legacy lives on.

Here's my reasonable speculation: McDaniels has already failed as a head coach. The next chance he gets will likely be his last. The current vacancies aren't with teams that have good situations. They're mostly teams mired in turmoil. McDaniels might want to wait for a more favorable situation to arise.

Here's a boring speculation: Maybe McDaniels likes it here, likes working with Bill, likes working with Brady. Maybe he tried head-coaching and it wasn't for him. Some coaches are Captain Kirks, some are Mr. Spocks. There's nothing wrong with being a Spock.

Here's my absurd speculation: McDaniels is secretly married to Jonathan Kraft, and the two of them used Gisele Bundchen to be a surrogate mother to a child conceived using DNA from McDaniels and Belichick's daughter. The pregnancy was accompanied by dark sacrifices and Satanic rituals, overseen by evil wizard Ernie Adams. The child will one day coach the Patriots, bring the world as we know it to an end, and win 8 Super Bowl titles.

Winter Classic: Red Wings 0, Maple Leafs 0

Yesterday the NHL staged its 6th annual Winter Classic at The Big House in Ann Arbor, Michigan. All those in attendance witnessed a tight game. Although neither goalie had to work much. There were 0 shots on goal. Despite the defensive nature of the contest, it was clean. There were no penalties issued.

The real winner was the NHL and the game of Hockey. Every person who went to the game had an experience to share and fondly remember. All the fans who participated at events at Comerica Park also had a good time, and will associate the NHL and hockey with fun and enjoyment.

The NHL finally figured out how to put on a good show. When the first Winter Classic was played in 2008, the League had no idea how important of an event it would be. And it's a decent TV draw. On a day when many people stay at home and watch television with friends and family.

The Winter Classic is part of the Hockey Fan Experience. From the fans who go to the game, to those who watch it on TV. It's become a vital event for the game and for the NHL.

And if the NHL ever grows a brain, or a new league replaces it, they should do everything in their power to avoid cancelling any and all future Winter Classics.

Patriots Don't Let Opportunity Pass Them Bye

For the Miami Dolphins this was the last week of an already finished season. It was a cold Gillette Stadium evening, with an assaulting wind. The Dolphins didn't want to be there. Who would?

On the other side of the ball, the Patriots had a chance to advance a round in the playoffs before the playoffs even started. They did their job and earned a week off. They wanted a win and they took it.

It's good to see Rob Gronkowski back. The Patriots' Red Zone offense is simple and deadly when he's on the field. And between the 20s and he causes so many matchup problems, and helps guys like Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez take advantage of the attention he draws. And he can block.

It's also great to get a week off so dinged up players can be fresh for the Divisional Round. Which will be Sunday the 13th at 4:30pm. If Houston wins, it will be against the Texans. If Houston loses, it'll be against the winner of the Indy/Baltimore game.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Patriots-Dolphins Drinking Game

It's the last week of the regular season. 'Tis the season for seeding. Here's a drinking game to play during the Pats/Dolphins game:

Anytime a commentator says...
"New Year's" = 1 drink from a beer
"To you and yours" = 1 drink from your beer, 1 drink from the beers of those sitting next to you
"Playoff picture" = 1 drink
"Control their own destiny" = 1 drink
"Seed" = 1 drink
"Bye" = 1 drink
"Home-field" = 1 drink
"Snow" = 1 drink
"Nor'Easter" = 1 drink
"Cold" = 1 drink
"Brrrrrr" = 10 drinks


Anytime this is on screen...
Thermometer = 1 drink for every degree below 32 it is
Playoff scenarios = 1 drink
Graphic with Patriots/Belichick's record in December games = 1 drink
Most consecutive game with TD pass graphic = drink from beer for 48 seconds if it's before Brady gets #49, 49 seconds if after
Things encrusted in snow/ice = 1 drink
Steam coming off someone's head = 1 drink
Steam coming off Vince Wilfork's head = drink for 7.5 seconds
People ice-skating = 1 drink
People skating at Patriot Place = 5 drinks
Anyone wearing New Year's attire = 1 drink
That Mark Henderson guy plowing snow off the field in the 1982 Pats/Dolphins game = drink for 30 seconds
Rob Gronkowski = finish drink, then spike the can/bottle
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Snowballs tossed jubilantly = drink the entire time they're being tossed
Brady yells "Alpha Milk" = 1 drink (bonus points for White Russians)
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (bonus points but extra drinks for Mike's Hard Lemonade)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink each snap
Patriots allow 15+ yard pass play = 1 drink
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of seafood
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return


Get lubed up responsibly.

Minnesota Loves Giving Gifts to Boston

It's the time of year for giving, and that's what the Minnesota Vikings did for the New England Patriots on Sunday. Minnesota's 23-6 thumping of the Houston Texans made it so if the Patriots win next week, they can secure a first-round bye if Houston loses or if Denver loses. Essentially, the Vikings more than doubled the chances of the Patriots receiving a bye, considering the Texans face the Colts, while the Broncos face the Chiefs. Houston is more likely to fall to Indy than the Broncos are to fall to KC.

This isn't the first time that Minnesota has given Boston a tremendous sports gift. Old friend Kevin McHale shipped Kevin Garnett to the Celtics as an early Christmas present in 2007. That worked out pretty well.

The Twins released David Ortiz just before Christmas 2002, and he was signed by the Red Sox the following January. Ortiz has hit 343 homeruns and knocked in 1,088 RBI for the Sox since then.

It's nice that there's such generosity between Minnesota and Massachusetts. It wasn't always so heartfelt and nice.

Merry Christmas, Minnesota. And thank you.

Patriots Don't Try, Still Win

The Patriots have scored 294 more points than the Jaguars this season. Yet when they played yesterday, the Patriots only managed to score 7 more points than the Jags.

The Patriots played poorly. There's no getting around that. This was a hangover game. Last Sunday was a long, tough game. And it's hard to bring the energy down to Jacksonville after two nationally televised games against elite opponents. I'm not worried about the problems the Patriots had in this game reappearing in the playoffs.

I am actually pleased, in some ways. All year I've heard sports-radio callers and some pundits complaining that this team's defense hasn't won a game without the support of the offense. People have been clamoring for games to end with a Patriots defensive stop. They finally got it.

The D stopped the Jaguars near the goal line at the end of the game. Granted, the Jags have an abysmal offense. But stops are stops. The defense finally won a game.

The Patriots host the Dolphins next week and a first-round bye is still possible. If the Pats win, and either the Broncos or Texans lose, then the Pats will receive a bye.

The Texans are at Indy at 1:00pm. The Broncos host the Chiefs at 4:25, and the Pats also play at 4:25.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

Ignorant College Bowl Picks: Saturday's Games

I finished the season 79-81-1, which isn't a horrible record. I'm somewhat proud of it. Here are my picks for Saturday's bowl games...

Gildan New Mexico Bowl - Albuqueruqe, NM
Nevada +9.5 vs. Arizona
I gotta go with the Wolfpack in this one. Don't know why. But here's a picture of an Arizona girl.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - Boise, ID
Utah State -10.5 vs. Toledo
USU went 10-2 and the game will be played in the Rocky Mountains. Advantage Aggies.

All I Want for Christmas Is the NHL... To Die

More talking between owners and players, still the same lack of resolution. And I'm realizing that even if the NHL returns in the early months of 2013, the underlying problems with the League will go unaddressed and unresolved. It's a great sport played by great athletes who compete in a horrible, moronic, short-sighted League. The best thing for hockey is for the NHL to die, and a new League to replace it.

This new League should have a similar number of teams but in places where people actually care about hockey. Having 2 teams in Florida and only 1 in Quebec makes no sense. Having a team in Arizona and none in Wisconsin makes no sense.

This League should allow its players to play in the Russian Winter Olympics. Olympic hockey is the best free advertisement for the game, and it reaches a global audience.

This League should widen the ice to allow for a less cramped, better flowing game. The players are much bigger (and faster) than they were in 1924, the ice surface should also be bigger.

This League would have a luxury tax system along with a cap, so big market teams could spend a little more, but they'd have to pay the small market teams in order to do so.

This League wouldn't allow work stoppages every 5 years. Its owners and players would care more about the long-term success and prosperity of the League than short-term profits. There would be a commissioner independent of the owners, like Kenesaw Mountain Landis was when MLB appointed him Commissioner in 1920 after the White Sox threw the World Series. And that commissioner's sole interest would be the good of the game, not the wealth of the owners or players.

The NHL is an old, overgrown, decaying tree. It needs to be cut down and turned into mulch to clear the way for a vibrant new tree to grow.