DeflateGate report probably made us generally aware of what was already suspected

The DeflateGate investigation is over. Ted Wells has concluded that the Patriots probably broke the rules and intentionally deflated footballs. And that Tom Brady was probably generally aware that this was going on. The report has more "probables" than a weekly NFL injury report.

Could you imagine if the most important lines in literature and cinema were phrased so inconclusively? What if the Gospels meekly proclaimed "And on the third day, Jesus probably rose, and we're generally aware that one day he will come again." What if Shakespeare's Hamlet asked "To probably be, or not to be? I'm generally aware that this is the question." How about classic lines in Star Wars and Terminator 2? "Luke, I'm probably your father." "I'm generally aware that I'll be back."

And aren't Ted Wells' conclusions things that we pretty much knew already? What new information has this investigation uncovered?

Didn't the 2 weeks of non-stop media coverage of DeflateGate take place under the presumption that the Patriots were probably guilty? From the initial leak of the story, to the Colts' suspicions earlier in the season, to the surveillance footage of a ballboy going into a bathroom with the footballs, the general consensus was that the Patriots were PROBABLY guilty. So by including qualifying words like "probably" and "generally aware," Ted Wells' investigation has only put into writing what most people had already assumed months ago: The Patriots are probably guilty, the quarterback was probably generally aware of it.

So what did the investigation unearth? Did it prove that employees deliberately deflated footballs? Did it prove that Tom Brady instructed them to do so? The report's conclusion only argues that Brady was "generally aware" that this was probably happening. What does that mean exactly?

I don't know why Patriots haters are thumping their chests about such an inconclusive conclusion. The haters long ago concluded that the Patriots were guilty. Most of them also thought it was a Belichick initiated conspiracy, and this report actually exonerates Belichick (in stronger language than it indicts Brady, weirdly). This report gives the haters a pile of inconclusive paper to use as ammunition in their never-ending and futile war against the Patriots. And I'm glad for that. The haters make winning fun.

I also don't know why Patriots fans can't face the fact that there's more than a little smoke here. Although speaking of smoke, the scientific evidence in the Wells report comes from a company that once claimed second hand smoke didn't cause cancer. I'm not sure how reputable their science is. I also don't know why Patriots fans should care.

As a football fan I've seen players busted for PEDs, I've seen teams violate the salary cap, I've seen players paid under the table, I've seen players tampered with, I've seen teams pipe noise into stadiums, I've seen falsified injury reports, I once saw a trainer trip an opponent, I once saw a head coach obstruct a kick return. I'm not morally justifying cheating, just pointing out that if non-Patriots fans thinks the Patriots are the only rule violators in the League, they need to grow up. And if Patriots fans think their team has any moral superiority to others, they too need to grow up.

NFL Draft: Patriots surprise everyone by being completely unsurprising

The Patriots were on the clock, Malcolm Brown was probably the best player still on the board, and the Pats have a need on the defensive line. Under those circumstances, you'd expect Bill Belichick to do the unexpected and trade out of the first round. Instead, the Patriots made the obvious pick.

I'm satisfied with getting this player at pick #32. Brown won't be as good as Wilfork was in his prime. But for the next 4-6 years, Brown will be better than what Wilfork would have been here.

I could regurgitate all the draft analysis crap about how thick Brown is, how well his hips move, what kind of motor he has. I hate that cliched crap. What I will say is that at 32, this is the type of player you expect to draft. Maybe slightly better than expectations. You won't get an exciting playmaker at 32 unless he has an injury and/or criminal record. The last two times the Patriots picked at 32, they selected Logan Mankins in 2005 and Benjamin Watson in 2004. Matt Elam, David Wilson, Teddy Bridgewater. Those are other recent 32nd picks.

To sum up this pick in a word, it's "fine." This was a fine pick. I am fine with this pick. I think Malcolm Brown will be a fine player who will have a fine career. This pick is the equivalent of moving the ball 4 yards on 2nd and 10. It's good, it helps your cause, but by itself it doesn't mean a lot.

And again, that's what to expect when you're picking last.

I'm glad that the Patriots didn't trade up, because all the experts who have been watching college players' hips for the past 3 months pretty much agreed that this wasn't a talent rich draft. I'm also glad the Pats didn't move down, because those hip-obsessed experts also say that Brown is a good player, so I'm glad the Patriots took advantage of the opportunity to pick him.

Two closing thoughts:

Brown is listed as 13 pounds lighter than Wilfork, and there's no way in hell that's true. Brown is a big guy, but Wilfork has at least 50 pounds on him. So Brown better start gorging on pizza sheets and turkeys from Big Y.

Finally, how awesome is it to have the 32nd pick again? It's just a fantastically awesome number, isn't it?

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

BREAKING NEWS: TOM BRADY SKIPS WHITE HOUSE VISIT!!!

Tom Brady isn't going to visit the White House with the Patriots today. It's unbelievable, unfathomable, unconscionable, unconsiderable. I'm not sure if that last one is a word, but I'm practically hyperventilating over how serious and earth-shattering this story is, so I don't have time to check.

And much like some media and fans reacting to this story, I also don't have any time to think.

Reports on this report reportedly report that Brady isn't going to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue because of a "prior family commitment." I'm not actually quoting anybody, certainly not Brady or anyone from the Patriots. But by putting quotes around those words, I can make it seem like it came directly from a reputable source.

If Tom Brady is missing this most important of off-season activities for a legitimate family reason, then fine. But if it's just to spend time with his kids, then it's way, WAY out of line. Visiting the President for a token photo op is much more important than trivial things like time with your kids. This is America! Our glorious and revered leaders are of higher importance than our families! That's what America was built on.

But if Brady is lying (even though it's a source saying this, and not Brady), and this was politically motivated, then God have mercy on his soul. And his legacy.

As 98.5 The Sports Hub's Jim Murray very correctly stated about this story: "If you don't go to the White House for political reasons, you're a bad teammate." (that's an actual quote, not a made up one like earlier)

And that's so very very true. After winning his fourth Super Bowl and third Super Bowl MVP, we were all considering Tom Brady to be one of the greatest of all time, if not THE greatest. However, this newly revealed bad teammate aspect of Brady has tarnished that legacy. Super Bowl wins aside, how can you be the greatest of all time if you aren't a good teammate? It's not possible.

What makes this the act of a bad teammate is that it will create a media firestorm, which will possibly be a distraction. And the Patriots have little to no experience dealing with media distractions. Apart from DeflateGate, SpyGate, Tim Tebow, and Aaron Hernandez.

It's completely Brady's fault if the media makes a huge deal over this. It's Brady's responsibility, as a teammate, to predict what the media will overblow as a story. It's also Brady's responsibility to not do what he feels is right. No, a good teammate and a good leader caves in to peer pressure, and goes against his own principles in order to appease and conform to the masses. That's what leadership is all about.

The important thing to remember is that Tom Brady's motivations behind skipping - I could be more accurate and say "not going," but "skipping" makes it sound like he's doing something wrong, and it's more important to use provocative language to enhance a story than it is to be truthful - anyway, his motivation for blowing off this White House visit is more indicative of him as a teammate than anything he's ever done on a football field.

Such a shame. I used to really like Brady. But now... I don't know.

Patriots to begin 2015 season with win over Steelers

The Patriots will host the Steelers to begin the 2015 NFL schedule on September 10th, a Thursday night, according to "leaks."

This is great. The Patriots are essentially 1-0 with this leaked announcement. The win is already in the bag, it's just a question of score. And the weather forecast will have more impact on that than anything the Steelers will try to do.

Although, without Troy Polamalu to toy with and trick, it might be slightly tougher for Brady against the Steelers defense.

Yes, I'm being cocky. Because the Patriots won the Super Bowl a few months ago. And I feel that with 4 Super Bowl rings, it's time for me to shed my "let's wait and see" approach to my Patriots fandom, and just go full out cocky prick. The Patriots are better than the Steelers. Belichick is ten times better than Tomlin, Brady is far superior to Roethlisberger, Gronk is better than any pass-catcher on the Steelers.

Furthermore, the Patriots just don't lose at Gillette Stadium. It's a rarity. It's like seeing Bigfoot humping the Loch Ness Monster.

One fun fact about this game is that both LeGarrette Blount and Le'Veon Bell will be serving suspensions for drugs. So I wonder if they'll watch the game together somewhere in the area, then after that spend a few hours at the Taco Bell in Walpole.

What the Celtics can win in this series

The Celtics have essentially no chance to beat the Cavs in a 7-game series. Even winning a single game seems far-fetched. But there are some things the Celtics have a good chance to win in this series: the experience, an increase in the trade-value of current players, the solidifying of Brad Stevens' reputation as a quality coach, and an increase of the team's appeal to top talent in the league.

Playoff experience is priceless. And while the C's aren't contending for the 2015 NBA Championship, the postseason experience some of these players get in the next few weeks could help them in future playoff runs. If the Celtics can play just one reasonably close game in this series, it will be a fantastic learning experience.

Isaiah Thomas has no playoff experience, neither does Tyler Zeller, Marcus Smart (obviously), or Kelly Olynyk (happy birthday to him, by the way). Getting a playoff series under their belts can only help them improve. Think about it, when has playoff experience ever made any player in any sport worse? Has anyone ever said "Oh, Player X was an okay player, until he played that series against Milwaukee. Ever since he got that playoff experience, he just hasn't been the same."

This series can also increase the trade-value of some of these players. If Isaiah Thomas averages 20+ points, if Tyler Zeller gets a double-double, if anyone makes a big game-winning shot, they could become more valuable in a future trade. Players with good postseason performances on their resume often command a higher price on the market.

Brad Stevens makes his players better. That's a scientific hypothesis that's been repeatedly tested this season, and continually reaffirmed. If Stevens can coach his ragtag bunch of misfits to a win or two, or just a few close games, then his reputation as a great coach will grow stronger. Players want to play for a coach who puts them in position to play better. And that also puts the player in position to get paid better.

That's one way the Celtics can increase their appeal to the league's top talent. Right now, the Celtics aren't a big draw for prime time players. But being a playoff team makes them more appealing than a lottery team. And being a playoff team that has proven postseason performers and a coach who makes players better, is even more appealing.

And as that appeal draws good-but-not-great players, the team becomes an even more appealing destination. Then eventually maybe you land the big star that puts you back into championship contention.

So this series won't end with the Celtics winning. But it might be the start of the Celtics' winning.

The Red Sox have horrible pitching, and I don't mind one bit because they're entertaining

Wade Miley got knocked around for 7 runs Wednesday afternoon. He allowed 5 hits and 3 walks, and only got 5 outs. And I'm not upset about it. Nor am I upset that Justin Masterson and Clay Buchholz were also recently roughed up. This rotation is shaky and unreliable, and I'm not bothered.

My surprising mellowness after a 10-5 defeat isn't because the Red Sox are 6-3. It isn't because the Sox have won all 3 of their series. And it isn't because they're in first place. The number responsible for the smile on my face is 56, as in the number of run the Sox have scored.

Because of the offense, this team is exponentially more entertaining than the 2014 Red Sox. They've scored 56 runs in 9 games (more than 6 per game). Through 9 games last year, the Sox had scored 33 runs (less than 4 per game). Last year it took the Sox 16 games to score 56 runs (3.5 per game).

So even when the pitching is awful, the team is still in the game. And even if it's 8-2, like it was at one point Wednesday, you still want to watch the Sox hit because they're capable of coming back. And even if they don't, they're not painful to watch as they were last year.

A healthy Dustin Pedroia is fun to watch at the plate, compared to what it was like watching an injured Pedroia struggle to hit. Mookie Betts is exciting at the plate, as opposed to the frustration that Jackie Bradley Jr. caused.

So the parade of poor pitching can continue, so long as the offense continues to keep the Sox in the game, so long as these at-bats aren't torturous to endure.

All I want from the 2015 Red Sox is to be entertained, and so far they have been entertaining.

Photo Credit: AP Photo/Charles Krupa

These are the playoffs for the Bruins, and they're losing

For the Bruins, the playoffs started Thursday night, because they're staring elimination in the face. If they didn't realize this before losing to the Panthers 4-2, they realize it now. The B's no longer control their own playoff fate. They need help or they're out. They could even be knocked out before they take the ice against the Lightning Saturday night.

Before this loss to Florida, the Bruins were standing next to the electric chair. By losing, they've sat down in it. Now they need a call from the Governor, or a last-minute power outage to escape.

It's a good thing Claude Julien gave so much rest to guys on Tuesday night in Washington. It's a good thing that Chris Kelly and Gregory Campbell were given so much ice time Wednesday. Because the B's really looked sharp and energized in the 2nd and 3rd periods.

Speaking of Chris Kelly, the goalless streak extends to 26. And he had 12:26 of even-strength ice time in this game. David Pastrnak had 9:52.

You're playing back-to-back games. You have a 34-year old who hasn't scored since Valentine's Day. You have an 18-year old who has scored 10 goals since re-joining the team in January, and is +13 in that time. Which player will bring more energy? The 34-year old, or the 18-year old? Which will bring more offense and make more plays? The slumper or the scorer?

You have a coach who plays a man who hasn't scored in 25 games, over a man who has been scoring. Not just in Thursday night's game, but in the 3rd period of Wednesday night's 3-0 loss. In the 3rd period, down 3 goals, Julien gave Kelly 4:40 of even-strength ice time, and Pastrnak only 2:54.

Maybe Julien is planning on murdering someone, and he's trying to establish an insanity plea. He's certainly driving me crazy.

So here's the situation: The Senators have 97 points, the Penguins 96, the Bruins 95. The Sens and Penguins are in, the Bruins out. The Senators have 1 game left, the Penguins 2, the Bruins 1. If the Penguins win Friday night against the Islanders, they clinch their spot. If the Penguins lose in OT or a shootout, they can still clinch with 1 or 2 points on Saturday. On Saturday afternoon, the Senators are in Philly. The Bruins need them to lose in regulation to take their spot. If Pittsburgh wins either of their games (or loses both in OT/shootout), and if Ottawa wins, the Bruins will be eliminated before their game against Tampa Bay at 7:30 Saturday night.

And even if they get help, the B's will need to help themselves against the Lightning.

The Bruins were once in the driver's seat of their playoff destiny. Now they're outside of the car, and they need either the Senators or Penguins to give up their seats, or they'll get run over.

Photo Credit: Robert Mayer/USA Today Sports

Now that Braden Holtby is the new Bruins owner, maybe he'll do something about Chris Kelly's ice time

Braden Holtby now officially owns the Bruins. Three games this season, 3 shutouts, 88 saves. With the playoffs starting I don't know how active Braden Holtby will be in operating the Bruins' day-to-day operations. But hopefully we'll soon have a new GM, maybe a new coach, fewer reality TV shows, and please for the love of everything holy, less Chris Kelly. The Braden Holtby era of Bruins ownership has begun!

Give an assist (a rare one) to Kelly for Holtby's ability to acquire the team. Kelly had another goalless game Wednesday night. That's 25 in a row. He hasn't scored since February 13th. He hasn't had an assist since March 5th. And yet for some reason last night, with the Bruins down 3-0 in the 3rd period, Kelly got more even-strength ice time in the 3rd than he had in the 2nd or 1st. What the fuck, Claude?

There's nobody on this roster less likely to score a goal or contribute to a goal, and yet Claude Julien put him on the ice for the same number of shifts (6) as he had in the 1st and 2nd periods.

Chris Kelly isn't the only problem the Bruins have, nor are the Bruins' difficulties as simple to solve as reducing a defensive specialist's ice time when you need to score. But this is just baffling.

Kelly has spent over 6 hours on the ice since his last goal (360:46).

Down 3 goals in the 3rd, Kelly got 4:40 of even-strength ice time. David Pastrnak, who's scored 5 goals and 14 assists since Kelly last scored, was on the ice for 2:45. Kelly 4:40, Pastrnak 2:45. Are you kidding me? How is this even possible? I'm looking at the time on ice report on NHL.com and I'm thinking that they must have made a number of mistakes, as this is simply ludicrous.

Kelly had more even-strength ice time in the 3rd than Pastrnak, Spooner, Connolly, Marchand, Krejci, Lucic, and Bergeron. That's right, Patrice fucking Bergeron. Why? How?

Those players have 99 combined goals this season. Kelly has 7. And only 3 in 2015. Those are guys getting paid millions because they can score, and they're playing less than a guy who hasn't scored in 25 games.

I can't even think about anything else today. You're down 3 goals. You have 20 minutes of hockey and you must score 3 goals in order to secure a valuable point. You have 12 forwards on your bench. Some of them have 20+ goals this season. Some have been carrying you the past few weeks with their offense. And so you send a guy riding a 25-game drought on the ice more than most of them.

So please, new Bruins owner Braden Holtby, tell Claude Julien that he either needs to change the way he plays favorites with the most offensively inept player on the team, or he needs to find a new team.

Photo Credit: AP Photo/Nick Wass