Patriots-Steelers drinking game: Super Bowl banner and NFL kickoff edition

It's here! Actual football returns! Finally when we see "Patriots vs." or "Tom Brady vs." it won't be describing a court case. Instead of cross examinations, it's now time for crossing routes. Instead of filing motions, we'll have receivers in motion.


Here's a drinking game to play while enjoying the Patriots begin their title defense against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Enjoy the game, do your job, and get lubed up responsibly (which means you should not, under any circumstances, actually play this game)...


Anytime a commentator says...
"Champions" = take 1 drink of beer, and let out a satisfied sigh
"Super Bowl" = 1 drink
"Banner" = 1 drink
"Ring(s)" = 1 drink
"4-time" = 4 drinks
"Do your job" = finish your beer
"Brady" = drink for 12 seconds
"Butler" = drink for 21 seconds
Any form of the word "win" or "winner" = 1 drink
"ESPN" or "Chris Mortensen" = drink 11 of 12 beers in a 12-pack
"Air pressure" or "PSI" = drink for 12.5 seconds
Anything about court cases = drink loudly enough to drown them out
Any word ending in "-gate" = 1 drink
"Suspended" = 1 drink, bonus points for smoking a blunt if they mention LeGarrette Blount
"Season" = 1 drink
"We're on to..." = 1 shot of liquor


Anytime this happens...
Touchback = 1 drink
Kick or punt return = drink for the duration of the return
Gronkowski scores a TD = finish your beer, spike the can/bottle (bonus points for spiking glass bottles)
Brady throws to someone besides Edelman or Gronk = 1 drink
They actually catch the ball = 1 drink
The Patriots go no huddle = 1 drink per snap
Brady says "Alpha milk" = 1 drink, bonus points if you're drinking a White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink, bonus points if you're drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade (only if you're a girl, deduct points if you're a guy)
Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink
Jerod Mayo makes a big play = 1 drink, 1 shot of mayonnaise
The Patriots give up a 10+ yard pass play in soft zone coverage = 1 drink
You think Roethlisberger will be sacked but he escapes = 1 drink
You miss Vince Wilfork = 1 drink, 1 shot, eat a turkey leg


Anytime this is on screen...
Roger Goodell at Gillette Stadium = HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A shot of footballs and/or ball boys = 1 shot of liquor
Highlights of Super Bowl 49 = finish your beer
Highlights of another Super Bowl (including Pittsburgh's SBs) = drink an entire beer
A Lombardi Trophy = 1 drink per trophy
A Super Bowl ring = 1 drink per ring
A banner = 1 drink per banner
A sign about Brady and/or Goodell = 1 drink
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink the entire time he's talking
Ernie Adams = drink a bottle of wine by the end of the game
The number 12 (including scoreboard and graphics) = 1 drink
A graphic of playoff/championship stats (for the Pats or Steelers) = 1 drink


Bonus drinking game rule:
Every time Tom Brady takes the field, remember that Roger Goodell and the NFL wanted him banned for this game as well as the next three. So raise your drink, say a toast to Tom, and a big "Fuck you" to Goodell.

BBS Awards: New England Patriots win Team of the Year

The Boston Blood Sox Awards (or Bloodies) are awarded for great success and/or pitiful failure in the 2014-15 sports calendar.

Back in January of 2008, I awarded Team of the Year to the Patriots. They were 16-0. This was before I realized that I should write these posts sometime after the Super Bowl.

I'm very happy to name the Patriots as the Team of the Year for 2014-15.

They won 15 games, including a very hard fought playoff battle against the Ravens, and of course the Super Bowl against Seattle. They were tough, they were imposing, they were difficult to match up against, they were clutch.

The stars were stellar. The role players rose to the occasion. They all did their job.

The season started poorly. At one point a reporter asked Belichick if he was considering replacing Brady (who was that idiot by the way?). The team believed in itself, even though the fans and the media didn't. The Patriots moved on to Cincinnati. Then to Buffalo, then the Jets, the Bears, the Broncos, the Colts, and so on. They scored 87 points in 2 games against the "AFC Finalist" Colts.

And the Super Bowl will probably be the Game of the Century for Boston Sports.

Belichick, Brady, Gronkowski, Revis, Edelman, Wilfork, Stork, Browner, McCourty, Blount, Gray, Vereen, Amendola, LaFell, Jones, Jones, Ninkovich, Casillas, Collins, Butler.

What a great team. What a great year.

I can't wait for the 2015 season to begin.

BBS Awards: Bill Belichick wins Lifetime Achievement Award

The Boston Blood Sox Awards (or Bloodies) are awarded for great success and/or pitiful failure in the 2014-15 sports year.

By winning his fourth Super Bowl, Bill Belichick cemented his legacy as the greatest football coach of all-time. Among Boston coaches in all sports, he's second only to Red Auerbach. NFL coaches can only dream of achieving half of what Belichick has achieved.

Four Super Bowl wins as a head coach, 2 more as an assistant. He's been part of 8 Super Bowls spanning 4 decades. Named Coach of the Year 3 times by the AP. His defensive gameplan from Super Bowl 25 is in the Hall of Fame.

He's won 232 games including 22 playoff wins. His 211 regular season wins is 6th all-time, and with 12 more wins he'll pass Paul Brown for 5th.

One of Belichick's biggest strengths is his ability to move on from adversity. "We're on to Cincinnati" became a theme of the 2014 season, but moving on has been a key part of Belichick's career. He was a failure in Cleveland, but was able to learn from the experience and move on. When the Patriots lost Bledsoe in 2001, he and the team moved on. When they lost 31-0 to the Bills in 2003, they moved on. When the SpyGate story erupted, when Brady got hurt in 2008, when Aaron Hernandez murdered people, when the team was 2-2 last year and people were questioning if Tom Brady should be the quarterback, when DeflateGate broke. Belichick moves on.

No team excels in the face of adversity like Belichick's Patriots.

Few coaches have lost Super Bowls as heartbreaking as the two that Belichick lost against the Giants. And yet he still isn't afraid of risking defeat. He still has massive balls. He had the balls to reject the Jets and work for the Patriots (having learned from his Cleveland experience how important it was to work for owners who let you do your job). He had the balls to keep 4 quarterbacks on his roster, one of them was Tom Brady. He had the balls to let Brady try to win Super Bowl 36. He had the balls to let Lawyer Milloy go, to sign Corey Dillon, to bring in Randy Moss, to drop Randy Moss, to trade Logan Mankins, et cetera.

His aggression has sometimes been questioned, and it hasn't always worked out, but that aggression is why he and the Patriots are 4 time champions.

You could write a 200-page thesis paper on leadership by talking about Bill Belichick. So I'll stop myself here.

But Belichick has yet to stop. He's still doing his job.

BBS Awards: Super Bowl 49 wins Game of the Year

The Boston Blood Sox Awards (or Bloodies) are awarded for great success and/or pitiful failure in the 2014-15 sports year.

There are about 85 years left in the century. That's around 14,000 baseball games, over 7,000 hockey and 7,000 basketball games, and counting the playoffs, about 1,400 football games. Odds are, none of those games will be able to top Super Bowl 49 as the Boston Sports Game of the Century.

The game was great, but so was everything going on around it. The build up with DeflateGate. The story-lines of old dynasty vs. new dynasty, of attitude vs. adjustment, of Sherman vs. Revis, of Carroll vs. Belichick. The two most talented teams, the two toughest teams. A powerful running back, a powerful tight-end, formidable DBs on both sides of the ball. The anticipation was unreal.

The game itself surpassed expectations, featuring some of the best individual plays of the season. Great throws, great catches, great interceptions, from both teams. So many big plays. So many heroes. Brady, Gronk, Amendola, Edelman, Butler.

And it ended with the best quarterback of his era leading his team to victory. And the best coach of all-time seeing his adjustments, his pre-game preparation, and his audacity pay off.

The lasting impact of the game is another rarity. The Championship tore down the divide between the glory years of 2001-2004, and the "almost" years of 2005-2013. It launched Brady and Belichick into the "best ever" category.

It's very rare that a sporting event has such high expectations, then exceeds them, and then has a major impact in the history of the game. Super Bowl 49 did all of that.

And just imagine what enduring all those blizzards would have been like had the Patriots lost.

BBS Awards: Malcolm Butler wins Tom Brady Award for Coming Out of Nowhere

The Boston Blood Sox Awards (or Bloodies) are awarded for great success and/or pitiful failure in the 2014-15 sports year.

This Award goes to players who went from anonymity to superstars. For example, Koji Uehara won it for 2013, Danny Woodhead in 2010. This year's winner didn't have a great season, or even a great game.

It was one play. At least that's how we'll remember it. Malcolm Butler was the center of 4 big plays in the 4th quarter of Super Bowl 49. He broke up a few passes on key downs. He made a few important tackles. And of course, his interception.

Most of us didn't know who this guy was before that night. Now everyone knows. Take Tom Brady's entire 2001 season and condense it into an hour of football. That was the night Malcolm Butler had.

BBS Awards: Rob Gronkowski wins Drew Bledsoe Award for Patriots Player of the Year

The Boston Blood Sox Awards (or Bloodies) are awarded for great success and/or pitiful failure in the 2014-15 sports year.

Tom Brady is the heart of the Patriots. And Rob Gronkowski is the muscle. As Gronk got healthy, the Patriots got healthy. As Gronk started to dominate, the Patriots started to dominate. The Patriots were 10-0 when he caught for 60+ yards, 3-2 when he didn't.

Not only did he produce, the way he played gave the Patriots a ferocious edge that they haven't had (especially on offense) for a long time. This was not a finesse team. It was a brutal, hard-hitting game when Gronk was on the field.

He also caught a TD pass in each playoff game.

His 12 receiving TDs were tied for 4th in the NFL and tied for 1st among tight-ends. He led tight-ends in yards, 20+ yard catches, first downs (60 of them), and yards after the catch. And don't forget he's one of the fiercest blockers in the League.

Patriots now more likely to win another Super Bowl after Goodell provided them with adversity

There's a factory in Foxborough, Mass. that takes the raw material of adversity and somehow turns it into wins. A few months ago the workers there turned an overblown story about under-inflated footballs into a shiny silver trophy. Several years ago they turned an uproar over videotaping signals which were visible to tens of thousands of people, into a nearly perfect season. The year after that, they went 11-5 despite losing their All-Pro quarterback. And a few years before that, a team that lost 31-0 to the Bills went on to win 21 games and 2 Super Bowls in a row.

The team most likely to succeed in adverse situations is the New England Patriots. They've gone through more -gates than a flight attendant. They survived the Aaron Hernandez arrest. They endured the hype around Tim Tebow.

Tom Brady will miss up to the first 4 games of the regular season. Those are against the Steelers, Jaguars, Bills, and Cowboys. Two good teams, another that always plays the Patriots tough, and the Jaguars. Fortunately, only one game is against a divisional opponent, and only one game is against another contending AFC team. Unless Goodell suspends Brady for appealing his suspension (he already suspended him for not submitting his cell phone, so don't dismiss it), Brady should return to play the Colts on an extra-dramatic Sunday Night Football, then the Jets and Dolphins.

Obviously without Tom Brady those first 4 games will be tough. This team might find itself 1-3 or even 0-4 to start the season.

Then again, it's plausible (or shall I say "more probable than not") that the Patriots can manage to go 2-2 in those games. Going 3-1 is within the realm of possibilities. And although it's unlikely, a 4-0 start isn't out of the question.

So the Patriots could start the season 2-2, and then get even better by adding Tom Brady to their active roster. This team started the 2014 season 2-2. We all remember "We're on to Cincinnati." The Pats then won 13 of the next 15 games, and the Super Bowl.

So as far as the impact of this suspension goes, I don't think it's incredibly severe. And considering how the Patriots rally when they perceive the world to be against them, I think they are now more likely to win the Super Bowl then they had been before Goodell threw the book at Brady.

And if the Patriots do win the Super Bowl in a few months... I don't think I'll ever stop laughing.

Photo Credit:
USA Today/Sports Illustrated

NFL Draft: Patriots surprise everyone by being completely unsurprising

The Patriots were on the clock, Malcolm Brown was probably the best player still on the board, and the Pats have a need on the defensive line. Under those circumstances, you'd expect Bill Belichick to do the unexpected and trade out of the first round. Instead, the Patriots made the obvious pick.

I'm satisfied with getting this player at pick #32. Brown won't be as good as Wilfork was in his prime. But for the next 4-6 years, Brown will be better than what Wilfork would have been here.

I could regurgitate all the draft analysis crap about how thick Brown is, how well his hips move, what kind of motor he has. I hate that cliched crap. What I will say is that at 32, this is the type of player you expect to draft. Maybe slightly better than expectations. You won't get an exciting playmaker at 32 unless he has an injury and/or criminal record. The last two times the Patriots picked at 32, they selected Logan Mankins in 2005 and Benjamin Watson in 2004. Matt Elam, David Wilson, Teddy Bridgewater. Those are other recent 32nd picks.

To sum up this pick in a word, it's "fine." This was a fine pick. I am fine with this pick. I think Malcolm Brown will be a fine player who will have a fine career. This pick is the equivalent of moving the ball 4 yards on 2nd and 10. It's good, it helps your cause, but by itself it doesn't mean a lot.

And again, that's what to expect when you're picking last.

I'm glad that the Patriots didn't trade up, because all the experts who have been watching college players' hips for the past 3 months pretty much agreed that this wasn't a talent rich draft. I'm also glad the Pats didn't move down, because those hip-obsessed experts also say that Brown is a good player, so I'm glad the Patriots took advantage of the opportunity to pick him.

Two closing thoughts:

Brown is listed as 13 pounds lighter than Wilfork, and there's no way in hell that's true. Brown is a big guy, but Wilfork has at least 50 pounds on him. So Brown better start gorging on pizza sheets and turkeys from Big Y.

Finally, how awesome is it to have the 32nd pick again? It's just a fantastically awesome number, isn't it?

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

BREAKING NEWS: TOM BRADY SKIPS WHITE HOUSE VISIT!!!

Tom Brady isn't going to visit the White House with the Patriots today. It's unbelievable, unfathomable, unconscionable, unconsiderable. I'm not sure if that last one is a word, but I'm practically hyperventilating over how serious and earth-shattering this story is, so I don't have time to check.

And much like some media and fans reacting to this story, I also don't have any time to think.

Reports on this report reportedly report that Brady isn't going to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue because of a "prior family commitment." I'm not actually quoting anybody, certainly not Brady or anyone from the Patriots. But by putting quotes around those words, I can make it seem like it came directly from a reputable source.

If Tom Brady is missing this most important of off-season activities for a legitimate family reason, then fine. But if it's just to spend time with his kids, then it's way, WAY out of line. Visiting the President for a token photo op is much more important than trivial things like time with your kids. This is America! Our glorious and revered leaders are of higher importance than our families! That's what America was built on.

But if Brady is lying (even though it's a source saying this, and not Brady), and this was politically motivated, then God have mercy on his soul. And his legacy.

As 98.5 The Sports Hub's Jim Murray very correctly stated about this story: "If you don't go to the White House for political reasons, you're a bad teammate." (that's an actual quote, not a made up one like earlier)

And that's so very very true. After winning his fourth Super Bowl and third Super Bowl MVP, we were all considering Tom Brady to be one of the greatest of all time, if not THE greatest. However, this newly revealed bad teammate aspect of Brady has tarnished that legacy. Super Bowl wins aside, how can you be the greatest of all time if you aren't a good teammate? It's not possible.

What makes this the act of a bad teammate is that it will create a media firestorm, which will possibly be a distraction. And the Patriots have little to no experience dealing with media distractions. Apart from DeflateGate, SpyGate, Tim Tebow, and Aaron Hernandez.

It's completely Brady's fault if the media makes a huge deal over this. It's Brady's responsibility, as a teammate, to predict what the media will overblow as a story. It's also Brady's responsibility to not do what he feels is right. No, a good teammate and a good leader caves in to peer pressure, and goes against his own principles in order to appease and conform to the masses. That's what leadership is all about.

The important thing to remember is that Tom Brady's motivations behind skipping - I could be more accurate and say "not going," but "skipping" makes it sound like he's doing something wrong, and it's more important to use provocative language to enhance a story than it is to be truthful - anyway, his motivation for blowing off this White House visit is more indicative of him as a teammate than anything he's ever done on a football field.

Such a shame. I used to really like Brady. But now... I don't know.

Patriots to begin 2015 season with win over Steelers

The Patriots will host the Steelers to begin the 2015 NFL schedule on September 10th, a Thursday night, according to "leaks."

This is great. The Patriots are essentially 1-0 with this leaked announcement. The win is already in the bag, it's just a question of score. And the weather forecast will have more impact on that than anything the Steelers will try to do.

Although, without Troy Polamalu to toy with and trick, it might be slightly tougher for Brady against the Steelers defense.

Yes, I'm being cocky. Because the Patriots won the Super Bowl a few months ago. And I feel that with 4 Super Bowl rings, it's time for me to shed my "let's wait and see" approach to my Patriots fandom, and just go full out cocky prick. The Patriots are better than the Steelers. Belichick is ten times better than Tomlin, Brady is far superior to Roethlisberger, Gronk is better than any pass-catcher on the Steelers.

Furthermore, the Patriots just don't lose at Gillette Stadium. It's a rarity. It's like seeing Bigfoot humping the Loch Ness Monster.

One fun fact about this game is that both LeGarrette Blount and Le'Veon Bell will be serving suspensions for drugs. So I wonder if they'll watch the game together somewhere in the area, then after that spend a few hours at the Taco Bell in Walpole.

Tom Brady's legacy cemented by the best Super Bowl win of his career

Tom Brady won his fourth Super Bowl Sunday night, along with his third Super Bowl MVP. He threw 4 touchdowns, which makes him the Super Bowl record holder with 13. Total completions, yards, attempts, completions in a game, all Super Bowl records now held by Tom Brady.

He's clearly the best quarterback of his era, and it's tough to argue against him as the greatest of all-time. The debate between Brady and Joe Montana would be like arguing who is the better President: Washington or Lincoln. It would be a matter of taste and preference, not of clear distinction. And whoever you thought was second best, would still deserve statues to their legacy, along with cities and high schools named after them. Can we change Vermont's name to Vertom? And change New Hampshire to New Bradyshire?

This was Brady's best Super Bowl performance. Not just because he threw 4 touchdowns. Not just because he had two touchdown drives in the 4th quarter. Not just because he threw 300+ yards. It was his best because he did it against an elite defense, and because his team needed him to do it. The Pats couldn't run the ball, the defense was giving up big plays, Brady needed to have the 4th quarter of a lifetime for his team to win. And he did.

In the 4th Brady was the most clutch he has ever been in his career. Never has winning hinged so much on his actions than it did in the final 15 minutes of this Super Bowl, and he answered the call. He was 13 for 15 in the 4th, for 126 yards. He was perfect on the game-winning drive (8 for 8). There was even a sack and a penalty thrown in to make his task more difficult, and he still came through.

He would not be denied.

Four rings, 3 Super Bowl MVPs, 21 playoff wins. To match Brady, just think of the mountain that good young quarterbacks like Andrew Luck, Aaron Rodgers, and Russell Wilson must climb. Luck is 25 and has 3 playoff wins and no rings yet. So he needs 4 rings, 3 Super Bowl MVPs, and 18 more playoff wins to match Brady. Rodgers is 31. He needs 3 more rings, 2 more SB MVPs, and 14 more wins in the playoffs. Wilson is 26, needs 3 more rings, 3 Super Bowl MVPs, and 15 more playoff wins.

Good luck, guys.

No more "what ifs" or "if onlys" for Brady. All the questions have been answered. All the doubters silenced. Brady is the best in the game. The best today, the best in the past 20 years, and perhaps the best of all-time.

Photo Credit: Kyle Terada/USA TODAY Sports

PATRIOTS WIN THE MOTHERFUCKING SUPER BOWL!!!

The Patriots won their fourth Super Bowl with one of the most exciting finishes to a sporting event I've ever seen. To go from feeling defeated and deflated (pun intended) as the Pats were about to lose another Super Bowl in heartbreaking fashion, to sheer elation as Malcolm Butler picked off Russell Wilson in the end zone, was a feeling I will never forget. I've never transitioned from sitting quietly to jumping up and down and screaming more quickly in my life. From despair to ecstasy in the span of a heartbeat.

We're on to the duckboats!

Tom Brady was named Super Bowl MVP for the third time. Many have argued that Julian Edelman should have won, but Brady's performance was much more critical than anyone else's. Especially since the Pats struggled to run the ball (21 of the team's 22 first downs were in the air). The 2 interceptions were his fault, but they also showed how much the game turned on every decision he made. Brady had to be great for the Pats to win, and he was.

Despite the picks, Brady had an MVP caliber night. He threw 4 TDs and for 300+ yards against the Legion of Boom. In the 4th quarter he orchestrated back-to-back touchdown drives. He was 13 of 15 in the 4th for 124 yards and a 140.7 passer rating. And on the game-winning drive he was 8 for 8 for 65 yards. When his team needed greatness, Brady delivered.

This was the most clutch performance of Tom Brady's career, and that's saying something.

What about Malcolm Butler though? What about Malcolm in the middle? What about Malcolm B, by any means necessary? What about chaos theory with Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park? As the Seahawks lined up to snap the ball on the 1 yard line and the clock ticked down, I was dreading sports radio and the Monday morning coaches that would be hammering Belichick for not allowing the Seahawks to score or not taking a timeout. Then an undrafted free agent from West Alabama sniffed out the play, attacked the ball, and won the game.

An undrafted corner out of a D-2 school makes a play that wins the game, so that the QB taken in the 6th round can win the MVP, while many argue that a 7th round receiver should have won it. That's how the Patriots do things.

All of the Patriots players showed up with good and great games. Julian Edelman with his 9 catches, 109 tough yards, and a score. Rob Gronkowski with 68 yards and a TD. Danny Amendola fought for all 48 of his yards, and also scored. Brandon LaFell with a touchdown as well. Shane Vereen caught 11 passes (the Seahawks as a team caught 12). And the much doubted offensive line protected Brady.

The defense did their job in the 4th quarter. The Patriots punted with 14:17 left, down 10 points, and crucially the defense forced a three and out (Lynch run for 2, Lynch run for 1, Wilson sacked by Ninkovich for -8). Brady and the offense then scored a touchdown. After another three and out, Brady and the offense scored another touchdown. Seattle's first two drives of the 4th took a mere 3:10 off the clock. Which gave Brady and the offense plenty of time.

The defense almost blew it in the end. Another freak catch in the Arizona desert. But Malcolm Butler saved the day.

It was an awful play call by Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrell Bevil. And Pete Carroll should have vetoed it. It was also a poor pass by Russell Wilson. All that being said, Malcolm Butler made one hell of a play. He saw the receivers setting up the pick, he attacked the ball, he beat his man to the spot and won position, then he held on to the ball.

Can you imagine Game 7 of the World Series, bottom of the 9th, down by 3 runs, and a rookie hits a Grand Slam? Because that's what Malcolm Butler did.

Love or hate the Patriots, you have to admit that when the Pats are in the Super Bowl you'll be entertained. All 6 of their Super Bowls with Brady and Belichick have been instant classics. This one might be the best.

I remember about 10 years ago Tom Brady was asked which one of his Super Bowl wins was his favorite. His answer was "The next one." He and the Patriots have finally won that next one.

Photo Credit: Getty Images