Patriots-Texans Drinking Game: Monday Night Football Edition

Have a case of the Mondays? Then have a case on Monday. Here's a drinking game for tonight's Pats/Texans game...

Anytime a commentator says...
"Christmas" or "Holidays" = 1 drink from a beer
"Season's greetings" = drink beer for 10 seconds
"This guy" = 1 drink
"Here's a guy" = 1 drink
"Look" = 1 drink
"He's a football player" = 1 drink
"Potent" = 1 drink
"Balanced" = 1 drink
"High-percentage" = 1 drink
"Control their own destiny" = 1 drink
"Milkman" = 1 whole beer


Anytime this is on the screen...
Playoff scenarios = 1 drink
Graphic with Patriots/Belichick's record in December games = 1 drink
Most consecutive games with TD pass graphic = 1 drink
People shopping = 1 drink
Quincy Market = 5 drinks (because "Quincy" comes from the Latin word for 5, fun fact)
Santa = 1 drink
Christmas lights = 1 drink
Blinking Christmas lights = 1 drink per blink
People ice-skating = 1 drink
People ice-skating at Patriot Place = drink whole beer
People singing carols = 1 glass of wassail, or cider, or eggnog
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Bob Kraft talking to someone = drink beer the entire time he's talking


Anytime this happens...
Jon Gruden makes Mike Tirico giggle = 1 drink
Jon Gruden laughs at himself = 1 drink
Jon Gruden praises a body part of a player = 1 drink
Jon Gruden repeatedly gushes on and on about one player = drink every time he's mentioned, and drink for as long as Gruden rants
Jon Gruden refers to someone by a nickname you've never heard before
Tom Brady yells "Aplha Milk" = 1 drink of eggnog or a White Russian
Brady points out the "Mike" = 1 drink (or 3 drinks from Mike's Hard Lemonade for bonus points)
Patriots get a 1st down = 1 drink
Patriots go no-huddle = 1 drink per snap
Patriots allow 10+ yard run play = 1 drink
Patriots force a turnover = 1 shot
Vince Wilfork forces or recovers a turnover = 1 whole beer, 1 shot
Wilfork returns a turnover for a TD = 1 whole beer, 1 shot, 1 pound of Texas beef
Kickoff touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink during the entire return

Get lubed up responsibly.

Dodgers Sign Zack Greinke

I wanted the Red Sox to sign Zack Greinke. Not just because he'd improve the team now, but down the road he would be a very good #2 pitcher if the Sox can acquire or develop an Ace in the next few years.

The Dodgers crushed that idea, by committing $147 million over 6 years to Greinke. And that's simply too much money. $24.5 million per season is Ace money, and Greinke is no Ace. This is the second largest contract given to a pitcher, behind only the $161 million deal C.C. Sabathia and the Yankees agreed to.

Zack Greinke was the best free agent pitcher on the market, by far. But it was not a very good market. Greinke was the least unattractive girl on a Tuesday night at Applebee's, not the hottest girl in a downtown club on a Saturday night. That's what the Dodgers paid for.

Then again, they are clearly not afraid to spend money (they're the reason the Red Sox are able to spend money this off-season). The Dodgers had around $190 million in 2013 salary commitments before this signing. Now they're well over $200 million.

Jeremy Jacobs Is the Anti-Robert Kraft

Patriots owner Robert Kraft is frequently credited as being instrumental to bringing the NFL owners and NFLPA together last year during the NFL lockout. This year, Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs seems to be playing the opposite role. While Kraft assumed the role of mediator and conciliator, Jacobs has acted as the opposite. Jacobs has been divisive, uncompromising, and argumentative. He is the wedge that has driven the owners and players apart.

It's almost as if Jeremy Jacobs didn't want there to be a 2012-13 NHL season.

Jeremy "Scrooge" Jacobs continued his avaricious agenda by getting into a shouting match with Buffalo Sabres goalie Ryan Miller.

Can you imagine an owner of any other team in any other sport getting "heated" with an individual player? Can you envision Robert Kraft or John Henry getting into a shouting match with Peyton Manning or Derek Jeter? Only the most absurdly hardline owner could lower themselves to argue heatedly with labor.

But that's what Jacobs is. He's hardline. Which doesn't make sense because he makes most of his money elsewhere. The Bruins are just a small part of the Delaware North empire which he commands. Delaware North pulls in $2.6 billion in revenues, so why is Mr. Jacobs so adamant about a few hundred thousand dollars in revenue?

Well, I think he's just an asshole. He's always been an asshole. We forgave and forgot him being an asshole when the Bruins won the Cup, but tigers can't shed their stripes. He is a bona fide, world-class asshole.

He doesn't care about the game. He doesn't even care about money. He cares about pride and spite. He is an embodiment of the Seven Deadly Sins, specifically Pride. And he, more than any other person on the planet, is killing the game of hockey.

Army Unveils Special Uniform for Army/Navy Game

When Oregon or Maryland seemingly use kaleidoscopes to design uniforms, I cringe. Most college football special edition uniforms are disgusting and/or obnoxious. However, the kit that Army will be wearing in the Army/Navy game is, and there is no other word for it, cool.

The uniform is a tribute to 1944, which was a good year for the Army. The football team won a national title and the U.S. Army won the Battle of the Bulge. A map of the Ardennes region (where the Battle of the Bulge was fought) is imprinted in this jersey's numbers, sleeves, stripes, and gloves.

That along with Army's already badass black and gold color scheme, plus subtle touches like the "A" logo on the gloves, and a helmet decal paying tribute to the 101st Airborne Division (which held on to Bastogne while surrounded by Germans in the Battle of the Bulge), add to the utter coolness of this jersey.

I'm a history buff, a football fan, and a lover of well-designed aesthetics. And these uniforms impress me in all three aspects. It's a great football uniform, it looks sick instead of making me sick, and it honors our history.

This is the best college football uniform out there.

Harvard Wins Basketball Beanpot

Ten years ago, if you'd proposed a Beanpot style tournament for the college basketball teams in Boston, the idea would be dismissed because BC would be the undoubted favorite. How things have changed.

Harvard beat BC 79-63 last night. It was the Crimson's 5th straight victory over the Eagles.

What's really unfortunate for BC is that Harvard wasn't supposed to be that good this year. Harvard lost co-captains Kyle Casey and Brandyn Curry before the season due to a cheating scandal. The Crimson were 3-3 coming into this game. One of their wins was over MIT (the Engineers compete in Division III). Another win was against the Manhattan College Jaspers.

BC was actually favored to win last night's game, and it was close at halftime, with Harvard clinging to a 31-29 lead. Then the Crimson started the 2nd half with a 7-0 run and kept their foot on the gas. BC simply could not stop them. Harvard went on an 11-0 run after the first media timeout. The game was effectively over with 12 minutes left to play.

Sivani Chambers scored 21 points for Harvard. Wesley Saunders added 18. Jonah Travis scored 14. For BC, Ryan Anderson stood out, scoring 23 very hard points, mostly down low. No other Eagle scored more than 15, and only two others scored more than 10.

Harvard won the physical battles. They got some key offensive rebounds and had 9 team steals compared to BC's 2. They also got to the line more often, and shot better with their 3-pointers.

Ten years ago BC was a perennial NCAA tournament team, the undisputed best college basketball team in Boston, and behind UConn the second best team in New England. Now, there's no other way to put it, BC is Harvard's bitch.

Photo Credit:
Boston Globe

Patriots Lose Edelman, Sign Donte Stallworth

The Patriots placed Julian Edelman on Injured Reserve, ending the wide receiver's 2012 season. The team signed former Patriot Donte Stallworth. However, Edelman's contributions in multiple phases of the game will be tough to replace.

Edelman scored 5 touchdowns this season: 3 were caught, 1 was a punt return, 1 was a fumble recovery on a kickoff. He averaged 15.5 yards per punt return, the 2nd best in the NFL. He was a key contributor on offense and special teams.

While Patriot fans revel in the team's 6 game win-streak and divisional title, what's not spoken much about is how riddled with injury this team is. Chandler Jones, Logan Mankins, Dan Connolly, Rob Gronkowski. One more injury to a receiver, such as Wes Welker or Aaron Hernandez, and this team could be in trouble.

This is why securing a first-round bye is so vital.

BC Football Names Steve Addazio Head Coach

It didn't take long for BC to find a replacement for Frank Spaziani. Yesterday afternoon Steve Addazio was announced as the new head coach for the beleaguered program. Addazio has been the head coach at Temple the past two seasons. He had a 13-11 record with the Owls.

Before that he was the offensive coordinator at Florida for 2 years, the same time Tim Tebow was there. Perhaps Addazio will bring some of that option stuff to Chestnut Hill, where offensive creativity has been sorely lacking for years. He was part of Florida's coaching staff from 2005 to 2010.

Addazio's two BCS titles as an assistant coach, as well as his experience in Gainesville, should buy him some credibility when recruiting and coaching offensive players.

The 53 year old Connecticut native has also been an assistant coach at Syracuse, Notre Dame, and Indiana. He coached high school football in Connecticut from 1988 to 1994.

Addazio brings some new blood to a program that desperately needs it. In the last 8 years he's been moving up through the ranks of Florida's coaching staff. He went from an offensive-line and tight-end coach, to becoming the assistant head coach, to offensive coordinator, and then head coach at Temple. BC needed a coach who is making steps forward in their career, not one who is standing still, or taking steps back.

Addazio's background as an offensive-line coach also fits with BC's reputation as a program that produces NFL caliber talent in those positions. Addazio played on the offensive and defensive lines when he played at Central Connecticut State.

BC and Addazio agreed to a 6 year deal. Hopefully by then Addazio has done so well that he's fielding job offers from the SEC and NFL.

Red Sox Sign Shane Victorino... Why?

The Red Sox continue to spend money, this time signing Shane Victorino to a 3 year deal worth $39 million. $13 million per season seems like a lot for a 32 year old who has never hit 20 homeruns in a season and had an OBP of .321 last year, and slugged .383.

He's a decent fielder, but who cares? He steals bases, and again, who cares? He doesn't hit for power, he doesn't get on base, and he'll be paid $13 million next year. Why? It just baffles me.

For 2013 the Sox have committed $31 million to Jonny Gomes, Mike Napoli, and Shane Victorino. That's a significant chunk of cash for a backup outfielder, a decent first-baseman, and a glorified Carl Crawford.

It seems weird to give Shane Victorino so much money yet be so stingy with Cody Ross.

Do these seem like wise spending decisions? Thankfully, all of these deals are short-term.

Here's what I think the Red Sox are trying to do: They want the 2013 and 2014 Red Sox to finish above .500, and at least seem close to contending during the summer. That will keep fans interested, keep Fenway's seats full (at least keep tickets "distributed"), and create the illusion of improvement.

To actually fix the problems with this team will take 3 or 4 years. I think the Sox know this. What they're doing is overpaying for marginal temporary improvements while the long-term solutions are being addressed. It's like overpaying for a condo while your house is being built. Because the alternative is being left out in the rain.

Once again, PR and ticket sales seem to be steering this team's decision-making.