Why There Will Never Be an NFL Team in London

There hasn't been much talk about the NFL moving a team to London this week, but it's always been a topic of discussion when this game is played. There will never be an American football team based in London and here's why:

Time/Distance
Because of the time zone difference, you can't have night games in London unless they start at 1:00am local time. So no Thursday, Monday, or Sunday night football. A 4:25pm game would have to start at 9:25pm in London. No night games in London or when the London team is on the road.

There's also the considerable jet lag teams would suffer flying to and from Britain. Because of this, the London team itself would probably have the best home-field advantage in the NFL. And would struggle the most on the road. Especially West Coast games. San Diego is 5,500 miles and 8 time zones from London.

Lack of Rivals
The Packers have the Bears, the Giants have the Eagles. The Patriots have the Jets. Who would be London's rival? The Patriots would be closest, at about 3,200 miles. And Washington was burned by the British in 1814. Somehow I don't think much animosity has carried into the 21st century.

Exchange Rate
Due to the cap, players in London would get paid the same amount as their counterparts in the States. Due to the exchange rate, their money would be worth less. $100 equals £62.23. And something that costs £100 costs $161. So players would effectively have less money to spend on houses, cars, strippers, et cetera. So if Darnell Dockett wanted to tweet a picture of $100k, it'd be £62,230 in British notes.

Brits Don't Like the Game
They prefer rugby for a physical sport. And of course soccer is king. While most Americans view soccer as boring and devoid of action, the Brits like that it doesn't pause (how many pauses are in a football game? well over a hundred), and the game can change in an instant. Scoring is rare in soccer, which makes it tense, and one goal could decide the game. Many Brits see our football as slow, hiccuping action, and they don't like the pads.

Having an NFL team in London would be like having a hockey team in the Arizona desert. Thankfully, the NFL isn't as dumb as the NHL.

Ignorant College Football Pics*

Be advised, this post includes pictures of scantily clad women showing school pride, among other things.

Last week my picks were 7-7, bringing my season total to 40-34-1. Here are my selections for this weekend's games:

Louisville -3.5 vs. Cincinnati
Tight race atop the Big East. Nobody cares.

Texas -19 @ Kansas
Longhorns should roll in Lawrence.

South Carolina -13.5 @ Tennessee
Cocks should repeatedly violate the Vols.

Arkansas -6 vs. Ole Miss
Home field advantage.

North Carolina -7.5 vs. NC State
I finally believe in the Tar Heels. So they'll probably lose.

Maryland +2 @ Boston College
BC hasn't beaten an FBS team.

Duke +27.5 @ Florida State
Has the looks of a scare game, FSU wins but doesn't cover.

Texas Tech +7.5 @ Kansas State
Tech's only loss was to Oklahoma. And they crushed WVU just like K-State did.

Oklahoma State -7 vs. TCU
TCU will learn how hard the road is in the Big XII.

Wisconsin -6 vs. Michigan State
Tough to win in Madison.

USC -6.5 @ Arizona
Why not?

Georgia +7 vs. Florida (Jacksonville)
Yes. Upset in Jacksonville.

Ohio State +1 @ Penn State
Rare time I'll be rooting for OSU, so they'll likely lose.

Vanderbilt -32.5 vs. UMass
The Minutemen are struggling to adjust to FBS.

Syracuse +2.5 @ South Florida
Vomit.

Michigan +2 @ Nebraska
Interesting divisional races in Big Ten.

Oklahoma -11.5 vs. Notre Dame
When they win, OU tends to win by a decent margin.

Mississippi State +24 @ Alabama
The Bulldogs are a legit threat to win the SEC West and Bama might be thinking a week ahead to LSU. Could be close.

Oregon State -3 @ Washington
I like Beavers.

Buffalo Bills to Get New Stadium on Waterfront?

I know this has little to do with Boston or New England, but half my family is from Western New York, so shut up and read the post.

Some crazy millionaire proposed building a 70,000 seat retractable roof stadium as part of an "entertainment complex" on the waterfront in Buffalo. This is not a proposal by the Bills, or the NFL, or the city of Buffalo, or the state of New York. It's just some guy with some money with an idea.

The guy is Nicholas Stracick, a former MLB umpire who sued Walt Disney and won a huge settlement. He accused Disney of stealing the idea for their Wide World of Sports theme park.

So this guy is insane, and this scheme is still in the backroom plotting phase. It's not a real plan.

Although it makes sense in some ways. The Bills currently play in an antiquated aluminium bowl in Orchard Park, 15 miles south of Buffalo. But the Bills are a regional team. They draw fans from Rochester, Syracuse, and southern Ontario. And a stadium in Buffalo would be easier to get to than the current one in Orchard Park.

I don't know how much of an economic boon this would be for Western New York. This millionaire wants to include a hotel and a museum in this complex. And wants the taxpayers to shoulder 30% of the $1.4 billion bill.

But for the team, it'd be good. For the NFL, it'd be good. The Bills need a new stadium, and the NFL needs the Bills to have a new stadium. Maybe this particular plan isn't the right plan, but something needs to change with the Bills and their stadium.

And good luck to the architect that has to design a retractable roof that can withstand 50 inches lake effect snow.

Carlton Fisk Charged for DUI

What happens to someone when they park their F-150 in a cornfield? Maybe an embarrassing conversation with the property owner. What happens when they are found unconscious in that F-150 with an open bottle of vodka? A citation for DUI. Even if they are Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk.

Police in New Lenox, Illinois received calls about a pickup truck in a cornfield. They found Fisk passed out in the truck, with an open bottle of vodka. Fisk agreed to go to a hospital, but refused a blood alcohol test. Police issued him a citation for DUI, and for a lane violation (yeah, seriously), and illegal transportation of alcohol. He posted bond and was released.

This comes one day after the anniversary of Fisk doing this:

Maybe he was celebrating, or maybe he misses the thrill of the game, or maybe he didn't start drinking vodka until he parked safely in the cornfield. Perhaps a voice told him "If you drink it, he will come."

Bobby Valentine Throws David Ortiz Under the Bus

Bobby Valentine didn't make easy for himself in Boston. He tried to use the media as a tool but wound up injuring himself, like a child playing with a rotary saw. He still hasn't learned his lesson.

In an interview with Bob Costas on NBC Sports, Bobby V accused David Ortiz of quitting on the team once the Sox traded Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford on August 25th.

Hey Bobby, you're lucky Ortiz was trying until August 25th. And why should he push himself in a meaningless September? Why jeopardize that Achilles? Both David Ortiz and the Red Sox need that Achilles in functioning condition next year.

And that's assuming Valentine's accusations hold any merit. Which is quite an assumption. In the same interview Valentine denied that he ever said "Nice inning, kid," to Will Middlebrooks. What's particularly insane about that is that Valentine was the one who told the media he'd said that to Middlebrooks.

Bobby V has some deep-rooted psychological issues. He thinks these lies he tells are the truth. He's like Matt Damon in The Informant!.

Valentine also mentioned that front office personnel were frequently in his office before and after games. Although he had nothing but praise and sympathy for Larry Lucchino and ownership.

In Spring Training, Valentine berated Mike Aviles for not executing a relay drill properly. Valentine had never explained the drill to the players, so they confronted him about screaming at Aviles. In the interview with Costas, Valentine alluded to this attitude from the players: "I think that is unique to that group of guys. I don’t think it’s indigenous to all of baseball, or at least I pray it’s not."

The Sox have plenty of attitude problems, but this instance was Bobby Valentine's ego getting in his own way. And the incident probably ruined any chance he'd have at being respected by the players here. Why would you respect a manager who doesn't tell you what he expects you to do, then yells at you for not doing it?

That incident with Aviles was the beginning of the end for Valentine. And ironically it was Aviles who was sent to Toronto in exchange for Valentine's replacement.

Bobby Valentine is the least credible personality in all of sports. Because what he views as reality just isn't real.

Red Sox Have New Manager, Zach Greinke Should Be Next

The Red Sox decided to be quick about finding a replacement for Bobby Valentine and they've done that. They've hired John Farrell and done so before the World Series even started. The managerial position is now in order, but that's only a small part of the problems with this Red Sox team.

Let's be blunt here. This isn't a good team. It hasn't finished above 3rd place since 2009, and hasn't won a playoff game since 2008. They had talent on paper, but that hasn't translated into success on the field. Especially with the pitching.

The Red Sox do have money. The LA Dodgers very generously took a lot of bad financial commitments off the Red Sox' ledger. How to spend it to improve the team?

I like Zack Greinke. He's not an Ace, but he's a solid pitcher that can provide some stability to a very chaotic rotation. He was 15-5 with a 3.48 ERA last year, which would have made him the best starter on the Sox.

What I like most about Greinke is innings. He can give you 210 to 220 innings. Starting pitchers who go deep into games help preserve a bullpen and prevent a weak bullpen from being overexposed.

He turned 29 this past weekend so he has a number of good years ahead of him.

This team won't become a World Series contender overnight, or in one off-season. And having Greinke as a #1 pitcher isn't enough to get you there. But Greinke would only be the #1 pitcher in 2013. In 2014 and beyond, he could be this team's #2 or even #3, behind some much better pitching. He's a foundation guy that can make a rotation deep. And deep rotations=playoff contention.

Red Sox Trade Mike Aviles for John Farrell

You know what Fenway Sports Group does? They try to do everything differently. They can't just accept the norm and appreciate its efficiency and how well it functions. They have a compulsion to think and act out of the proverbial box. And this managerial hiring/trade is no different.

Have you ever heard of such a thing in baseball? Trading a Major League player for a Manager? It's only happened 5 times in MLB history. Unassisted triple plays have occurred 15 times in MLB history. So this is rarer than that.

Mike Aviles is hardly an All-Star, and the Sox can easily improve in that position. So I'm not upset about losing him. It's just the notion of surrendering anything substantial to get a 2 year manager with a .475 record. What does Farrell have that the other candidates looked at don't have? What makes him worth paying a price?

I said after the Sox hired Bobby Valentine that the Manager isn't very important. He can really only hurt the team. And that's how I feel about Farrell. He might help foster a certain attitude, but such an attitude must be supported by the performance of the players on the field. Farrell, or any Manager, isn't a solution to problems. The problems are with the roster and they need to be solved on their own.

I don't mind John Farrell as Red Sox Manager, but I can't help but worry that the Red Sox selected him for reasons beyond the realm of baseball. The fans wanted Farrell. Farrell brings that notion of discipline. He knows Boston, we know him, and he knows the organization. This smells a bit like a PR hire.

When the Patriots acquired Bill Belichick, they surrendered a 1st round pick in order to sign him. It was a football decision, and it's worked out for the Pats.It was not a PR hire.

When the Sox hired John Farrell, was the decision a baseball decision? How much PR and placating the fans was involved? How much did the Larry Lucchino publicity machine contribute to this decision?

Was this about selling tickets, or winning games? I just don't know anymore with this ownership. And that's why I don't trust them.

Patriots Blow Save, Win in Extra Innings

One good thing about the Patriots is that they play entertaining 4th quarters. One bad thing about the Patriots is that they play entertaining 4th quarters.

At some point this team MUST learn how to close. The difference between good teams and great teams is the ability to close games when you're ahead, and occasionally steal them when you're behind.

If NFL games were 3 quarters long, the Patriots would be 5-1-1 (tied with Buffalo 21-21 after 3 quarters). Not only that, they would've beaten Tennessee by 18, Denver by 17, Seattle by 10, and New York by 10. In 7 games, the Pats have "won" only three 4th quarters. They've been outscored 4 out of 7 games in the 4th.

The Patriots didn't make game-deciding plays until very late in this game. They didn't make game-changing plays either. They dropped passes, didn't take advantage of the safety, didn't take advantage of Alfonzo Dennard's INT, or a facemask penalty on a punt. The Jets gave the Patriots chances to put them away, and the Pats refused. Instead they tried flea-flickers, and that shit needs to stop right fucking now, Josh.

This lack of opportunism is an alarming trend.

Even more disturbing is a realization I had while watching this game: the success or failure of the Patriots depends on Devin McCourty more than anyone else.

That's a scary thought, but it's true. Look at this game. McCourty returns a kickoff and the Patriots look strong. He fumbles a kickoff and the Jets almost win. His blown coverages and pass interference penalties have punctuated game-winning drives for opponents. And his interceptions have sealed victories for the Patriots.

McCourty has had much more influence over the outcome of games than an inconsistent 3rd year defensive back should have. Other players need to step up and take more control of the game.

On the bright side, a win is a win. And Alfonzo Dennard looks very good for a rookie. The Pats ultimately made enough plays to win. The Jets clearly suck. There are some things to be optimistic about.

One request, though... Football stadiums should play "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats whenever there's a safety. Everybody would love it. All the fans would dance and if they don't dance well they're no fans of mine.

Patriots play the Rams in London next Sunday.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo