My favorite defensive performance of the season so far

The first few weeks of the season, the Patriots defense looked like an all-time great unit: Picks, fumbles, sacks, shutouts, scores. But it was mostly against bad QBs and bad teams. I'm not taking anything away from the Pats' D, but is it really a huge achievement to get 4 picks against the Dolphins?

What I've been wanting to see from this defense is if they had the ability to consistently make tough stands against decent offensive players. And that's what they did Sunday in Philadelphia.

The Eagles only had two drives that lasted more than 5 plays. The Patriots forced four 3-and-outs. They held the Eagles to drives of under 20 yards seven times. Cameron Johnston has a season-high 8 punts.

Last night I thought this win was ugly, but as I look back on the defensive performance, it's very attractive on that side of the ball: five sacks, a forced fumble, holding the Eagles under 100 rushing yards, under 200 passing yards. And it's not like the offense was putting the defense in great situations either.

So more than any other defensive performance this season, the 60 minutes in Philly yesterday impressed me the most.

But you're only as good as your next 60 minutes, which will be against the even better offense of the Dallas Cowboys.

Photo credit: Mitchell Leff/Getty Images

Patriots vs Eagles Drinking Game: Super Bowl Edition

Patriots in the Super Bowl again. Feels like a sequel to Groundhog Day where the protagonist over and over lives the same football season every year. Patriots start out as favorites, meet adversity, get dismissed by pundits, win a few games, Pats haters whine about something, ESPN makes outlandish claims, Pats win two playoff games, two weeks of media garbage, concluded with a thrilling football game.

History will be made on Sunday. No player has ever won 6 Super Bowls. No player wearing an Eagles jersey has ever won a Super Bowl. One of those things will happen Sunday. With this drinking game, you too can make history. You too can be the GOAT of Sunday evening drinking and Monday morning hangovers. There are no days off when it comes to abusing your liver.

So get lubed up, do your job, and we're not done (drinking).

Anytime a commentator says:

"Super" = take 1 drink of beer

"Bowl" = 1 drink, bonus points for hitting a bowl

"Fifty" = 1 drink

"Two," "too," or "to" = 1 drink

"Minneapolis" = 1 drink

"St. Paul" = 1 drink, say a prayer

"Twin cities" = two drinks

"Minnesota" = 1 drink

"Concussion" = finish your beer, slam can/bottle against skull

"Protocol" = 1 drink, then go inside a tent for 5 minutes

"Rob" = 1 drink

"Gronk" = 1 drink

Name that ends in "-ski" = 1 drink, eat some Polish kielbasa

"History" = 1 drink

"GOAT, greatest, best, etc." = 1 drink

"Tom" = 1 drink

"5-time" = drink for 5 seconds

"6-time" = drink for 6 seconds

"Champion" = 1 drink

"Bill" = 1 drink

"Malcolm" = 1 drink

"Brandon" = 1 drink

"Nate" = 1 drink

"Steven" = 1 drink

"Cris, Chris, etc." = 1 drink

"Al" = 1 drink

"NBC" = drink for as many seconds as your local NBC station (e.g. 7 seconds for channel 7)

"Here's a guy" = finish your beer

Anytime this is on screen:

Roman numeral = 1 drink per numeral/letter (so LII is 3 drinks, VIII would be 4)

Lombardi trophy (real or image of) = 1 drink per trophy

Super Bowl logo (any year) = 1 drink per logo

Vikings logo = 1 drink per horn (bonus points for drinking mead)

Ice or snow = 1 drink (bonus points if drinking cocktail with ice cubes)

Bill Belichick not talking = 1 drink

Bob Kraft talking = 1 drink

Josh McDaniels holding tablet or sheet = 1 drink

Matt Patricia = 1 drink, put pencil behind ear, first person whose pencils fall out drinks entire beer

Ernie Adams = 1 shot of gin

Green Man = 1 drink per man

Dog mask = 1 drink per dog

Roger Goodell = finish beer, throw it at TV

Highlights from previous Super Bowls = drink during entire highlight

Replays of Gronk concussion = 1 drink, 1 shot

Carson Wentz on sideline = 1 drink

Wentz highlight = 1 shot

Any kind of injury report or list = 1 drink per injured player

Anytime this happens:

Penalty = 1 drink per penalty yard

Touchback = 1 shot of liquor

Kickoff/punt return = drink during entire return

First down = 1 drink of beer

Turnover = finish your beer

Field goal = 3 drinks

PAT = 1 drink

Missed kick = 1 shot

Brady points out the "mike" linebacker = 1 drink, bonus points if drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade (but only if you're a girl and/or weigh less than 160 pounds, if not it's negative points)

Brady says "alpha milk" = 1 drink, bonus points if it's a White Russian

Brady throws pass to a non-WR = 1 drink

Patriot besides Brady throws a pass = 1 shot

Brady gets pissed at himself and/or others = 1 drink

Gronkowski catches pass = 1 drink

You're worried Gronk is hurt = 1 drink, 1 shot

Gronk actually is hurt = 1 drink, 1 shot, enter alcohol abuse protocol

Gronk scores = finish your beer and Gronk spike it (bonus points for glass)

Danny Amendola gets the ball in a non-receiving way (run, throw, return) = 1 drink

Amendola makes a clutch catch = finish your beer

Dion Lewis or James White gets the ball in a non-running way (catch, return) = 1 drink

Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink

Slater downs the ball inside the 20 = 1 drink for each yard inside the 20 (5 yard line = 15 drinks)

Slater lines up at WR = 1 shot

Bernard Reedy is on the field = entire beer

Kenny Britt catches a pass = finish beer

Dwayne Allen thrown to = finish beer

Patriots go no huddle = 1 drink at first snap, 2 at second snap, 3 at third, etc.

Patriots try a trick play = 1 drink

Patriots successful with trick play = 1 drink, 1 shot

Patriots score TD on trick play = whole beer, 1 shot, 1 glass of wine

Eagles player acts like they're flying = 1 drink

Eagles fumble the ball = 1 drink

LeGarrette Blount runs someone over = 1 drink, bonus points for hitting a blunt

Jay Ajayi runs 10+ yards = 1 drink, bonus points for smoking a jay

Chris Long makes a tackle = 1 drink

Justin Timberlake exposes a body part = 1 drink per part

You hold in a piss during the game AND commercials = 1 drink per play, 1 drink per commercial

A commercial tries to be funny but fails = 1 drink

You flip over to Puppy Bowl = 1 drink per puppy on screen

So enjoy the game. Then enjoy the ambulance ride, then the hospital visit, then the morgue. Your funeral procession can be like your own personal championship parade for winning this drinking game. The hearse is like a duckboat.

Abundance of penalties poses health hazard to NFL refs

Friday night's Patriots pre-season game against the Eagles saw 28 flags. To put that in perspective, if officials threw state flags instead of yellow ones, starting with Alabama and throwing the flags in alphabetical order, they would have gotten to Nevada. Speaking of Nevada, how long until there is an over/under Vegas line on flags thrown in games?

The big question is, will the regular season be officiated so tightly? And a follow up to that is, what health risks will NFL officials face if they call penalties as frequently as they have in the pre-season?

Arm fatigue and rotator cuff injuries
Obviously the act of throwing flags will cause significant wear and tear on officials' arms. And don't forget all the gestures and signals officials make with their hands and arms. The illegal contact motion could cause severe strain on the triceps.

Don't be surprised if several NFL officials require Tommy John surgery before the season is over.

Carpal tunnel syndrome
Especially for the head referee, who has to switch his microphone on and off to explain penalties. All that repetitive clicking with the thumb and forefinger will take its toll.

Laryngitis
The refs making announcements are most vulnerable to this, especially the ones who explain calls in detail. Ed Hochuli's arms might be strong enough to endure throwing all those flags, but will his pipes be able to endure explaining all of them? By November and December, refs will be hoarse, and some will have to refrain from talking as their voice boxes deteriorate.

Lower back pain
Flags thrown need to be picked up. That requires bending over. Lift from the knees, refs.

Eardrum damage
Thousands of fans booing coupled with at least one irate coach on the sideline screaming into the ear of some poor line judge. That's going to do some serious damage to the eardrum.

Mental and nervous breakdowns
I can imagine an NFL official on his day off at home watching his kids play, then one kid slightly nudges another, and when the ref reaches for a yellow flag in his belt and finds nothing there, PANIC. Refs will grow so accustomed to throwing flags at the slightest hint of contact between two other human beings, that when they're at home or at their Monday-Friday jobs, they'll have no idea what to do without that flag.

And how many times can you say "illegal contact, hands to the face," until the words lose all meaning? And then you wonder if any words had any meaning? And if words don't have meaning, do thoughts? And if thoughts have no meaning, do people? Then you fall into a catatonic state and they commit you.

At least one official will be committed to a mental institution before week 10.

All joking aside, the penalties are too much. The games are already too long, too riddled with stoppages. I'll still watch every Patriots game, of course. I think my watching of neutral games will go down. Especially the usually mediocre Thursday Night Football matchups.

My watching of NFL RedZone will go up, my watching of non-Patriots games on CBS and Fox will go down.

Maybe NFL Network could start a YellowZone. Every flag from every game. #QuadBox.

The Broncos Don't Impress Me Much

What's with the Eagles fan hugging Thomas in this picture? Weird.

I'm not saying that the Broncos aren't good. I'm not saying that the Broncos aren't great. All I'm saying is that I'm not nearly as impressed by 52 points and 4-0 records as most everyone else seems to be.

I've seen this show before. In 2007 with the Patriots. That team had an offense so good that most NFL teams couldn't handle it. The margins of victory inflated as opponents tried in vain to keep up. And the Pats kept piling on the points.

Speaking of which, why the hell did Denver kick a field goal up 49-13 in the 4th quarter Sunday? With 6:53 on the clock and on 4th and 11, the Broncos attempted a 53-yard field goal to increase their lead from 36 to 39. This difference would have made the Eagles try for 2-point conversions 4 times instead of just once. That is if the Eagles managed to score 5 touchdowns in the remaining 6:53.

Why kick that to go to 52? Why not go for it on 4th down, probably fail, and let the clock eventually tick to 0?

Anyway, the Broncos remind me of the Oregon Ducks. Which is funny because they beat Chip Kelly on Sunday. For all of Oregon's offensive prowess, they haven't won a National Championship. Ever. They've been to one BCS title game and lost to Auburn, 22-19. Legions of pundits seem to think that NFL teams want to be like Oregon, but they don't. The Ducks' system doesn't even work in college. There are some interesting things to learn about it, but overall its success has been drastically overshadowed by the traditional fundamentals of Alabama and other SEC teams.

What happens is Oregon beats the tar out of weaker competition, like Portland State, like Washington, like Washington State. But when they get into a tight, tough game, especially one that requires the defense to step up and make plays, they fail. In the early season against weak competition they routinely score 40, 50, 60 points per game. And everyone sucks their kneecaps for scoring 7 TDs against inferior opponents. Then they get tested and either the offense can't score at will or the defense can't contain their opponent when it matters most.

And the Broncos seem so much like the Ducks. I don't care about margin of victory. Win a tough, close game and then I'll be impressed. Or dominate a team that can play on the same level talent-wise.

I know 4-0 is 4-0 is 4-0. But the Chiefs are 4-0. The Patriots and Seahawks are 4-0. The Saints and Dolphins are 3-0. So what makes Denver so superior to those teams? Because they score more points? Who cares?

The Broncos are in Indy on October 20th and that's a test. In November they play the Chiefs, then the Pats, then the Chiefs again. That Sunday Night game in Foxborough will be like the Oregon Ducks travelling to Stanford.

Until then, I'm as impressed with the Broncos putting 52 up on the 1-3 Eagles as I am with Oregon scoring 55 against 1-3 Cal or 66 against Nicholls State.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo, Joe Mahoney

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly from the Patriots Preseason Opener

I'd like to extend a personal thanks to Italian filmmaker Sergio Leone for coming up with the title The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly for his 1966 Western starring Clint Eastwood and Eli Wallach. He has provided titles to sports stories (along with a format to break down games) for nearly 50 years. Molte grazie, Mr. Leone.

To the Patriots...

The Good:
The Patriots ran all over the Eagles. While LeGarrette Blount stole the show with 101 yards and 2 touchdowns, Steven Ridley's performance was more important for us to see. Ridley ended the 2012 season with a chilling concussion...

Before Gronk's surgeries, Welker's departure, and Hernandez's arrest, the status of Ridley's brain was a big off-season worry for the Pats.

Ridley ran the ball 8 times for 92 yards, most of that achieved in a 62-yard run on the first play from scrimmage. It was good to see Ridley running with confidence and running effectively.

This team will need to have a reliable running game. Not just consistent positive yardage and to keep defenses honest, but the ability to drive down field on the ground and occasionally run for 20+ yards. And having faith to run the ball on 3-4 yard short yardage situations. The Pats don't have a go-to receiver right now on those 3rd and 3 plays. They have to be able to convert some of those on the ground.

As a team the Pats ran for 248 yards. Not bad at all.

The new Patriots receivers also looked good when Brady was in the game. After an incomplete on his first pass, Brady threw 7 consecutive completions. Kenbrell Thompkins caught 4 of those passes, all shorter than 8 yards. Amendola caught a 6-yard pass, Aaron Dobson a 23 yarder. Shane Vereen's 13-yard TD catch was impressive. With a lack of quality WRs as well as no more Danny Woodhead, guys like Vereen will need to be a threat to catch passes.

Last year Vereen caught 8 passes for 149 yards and 6 first downs. Woodhead caught 40 passes for 446 yards and 22 first downs. Closing the gap between those statistical performances will help ease the pressure off the new receivers.

The Bad:
The secondary didn't look good when starters were in. However, Devin McCourty and Alfonzo Dennard did not play. That emphasizes how important they are to the secondary, and it also emphasizes how much of a drop off there is from the top 2 cornerbacks on this team and everyone else. Kyle Arrington can tread water as a #3 CB, but as a #1 or #2 he drowns. It's like taking a kid who can't swim from the shallow end of the pool to the deep end.

The Ugly:
Tim Tebow is not a quarterback on this team. He is a horrible thrower. He is woefully inaccurate. He takes too long to make a decision, and those decisions aren't good. His delivery is even slower than his progression. He can run (4 carries for 31 yards), but he is not a passer.

I do think Tebow will make this team, but be used as an element in trick plays, gimmick formations, and as a short yardage runningback. Then again, if Blount continues to do well, do you need another big runningback like Tebow taking up a roster spot?

So what we learned Friday night we kind of knew already: Brady is great. Ridley can run the ball. The secondary lacks depth. Tim Tebow can't throw.

Patriots host the Buccaneers Friday night, which should see more Brady and less Tebow. Or maybe more Tebow running and trying other things, and less Tebow passing.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Matt Rourke

Riley Cooper Might Be a Racist, He Might Not Be, But He's Definitely a Douchebag

Dan Wetzel at Yahoo! wrote a very good piece about Riley Cooper, suggesting that the Eagles WR should apologize to the black security guard he said the N-word to, and that the man who was the target of the slur has been lost in the conversation.

Cooper didn't just use the word in a joke, or in a general way, he said it to a person. And in a threatening way. This 6' 3" 222 pound pro athlete felt the need to try to intimidate some security guard, and used the slur to do it. And he was quite comfortable using it in conversation.

I don't know if Cooper is a racist or not. His teammates might have forgiven him. And he'll undergo some sort of bogus "anger management" or "racial sensitivity" training after this incident. And these classes will mean as much to him as his classes at Florida meant. He'll show up, pass without trying, and move on with his life.

He'll learn to not use that word. He'll learn to behave himself in public, especially when someone is holding their phone up and obviously recording. He will not, however, learn how to avoid be a douchebag.

He was pissed off at the security guard because he couldn't get backstage. As if Riley Cooper is a recognizable face (especially in a sea of fake-hicks wearing plaid cutoff shirts) and should be granted limitless access wherever he goes. Cooper probably could have gone through his team in order to get backstage, it happens when concerts are held at sporting venues. I'm sure the team would have found a way to accommodate him. Instead, Cooper wanted to skip all that and be recognized as better than everyone else. The security guard did his job, and he got called a nigger for it.

Yes I typed it. I typed it because Cooper said it. And he said it in a threat. What Cooper did was absurd, and his absurdity needs to be reinforced by actually using the word Cooper used.

To reiterate, Cooper is 6 foot, 3 inches tall. He weighs 222 pounds, almost all muscle. He's a pro athlete in a physical sport. And he was threatening someone. Cooper has to be the big, tough man. He had to threaten the guy who didn't bow down before him. He had to find a way to insult and belittle the security guy. Because how dare that NOBODY get in the way of Riley fucking Cooper?

I don't care about the Eagles fining him (What was the point of that, by the way? How token of a gesture is that?). I don't care about his apologizing. I don't care about his teammates forgiving him. I don't care about his sensitivity training. Racist or not, sorry or not, he's proven himself to be a massive tool.

By the way the Patriots and Eagles are practicing together next week. The practices will be closed sessions. I hope Adrian Wilson jacks this douche-nozzle up. Then Cooper will be asking security guards at concerts where he can keep his crutches.

Also, kudos to the security guy for not flipping his shit and going after Cooper.

Kevin Garnett Calls Philly Fans "Fair-Weathered"

I love how much the media giggles at KG's jokes. Such jock sniffers.

Anyway, I know this was a passing remark. But of all the cities to accuse of having "fair-weathered" fans, Philadelphia would be at the bottom of my list.

Just as a warning to any Philadelphia fans reading this, prepare for some backhanded compliments as I compliment your loyalty while simultaneously insulting your teams.

Before 1980, Philadelphia fans were enduring a World Series drought that was longer than the Cubs'. They hadn't won a World Series in their existence (established in 1883) until 1980. 97 years of futility. Even now, the Phillies have the same number of rings as the Cubs. The Phillies were the first team to rack up 10,000 losses. And even though they've had success recently, they're still 1,056 games under .500 as a franchise.

Yet Philly fans were still there, still hurling AAs at JD Drew when he was a Cardinal. If the movie Rookie of the Year had been set in Philly, the kid would have been discovered at the Vet because he could throw a battery from the outfield to home plate without it bouncing.

Then we have the Eagles. The little brother of the NFC East. Dallas has 5 Super Bowls, The Giants have 4 (plus 4 pre-SB titles), the Redskins have 3 (5 total titles), and the Eagles have 0. They do have 3 pre-Super Bowl titles, but who cares? Their last championship was won in 1960.

The Eagles have had their share of good teams. They've been consistent contenders. But have also been consistent chokers. They're run of three straight NFC Championship losses is legendary. Then they actually make the Super Bowl and Donovan McNabb gets indigestion.

Yet Eagle fans are among the most loyal (and they won't hesitate to remind you of that) fanbases in the NFL. Just look at the wide variety of jerseys worn at an Eagles game. The throwbacks seen aren't new editions of old jerseys. The jerseys are vintage. These fans have been obsessing over their pathetic team for years.

Then there's the Flyers, who haven't won the Cup since 1975. The 76ers have won 2 titles in Philly, the most recent in 1983.

Philadelphia has seen 14 major championships. 5 of those were won by the Philadelphia Athletics, so I'm not sure those count. The 9 titles won by Philly's current teams took 300 total seasons to accomplish. And Philly teams have only 1 title since 1983 (1 title in over 110 seasons).

Yet Philly fans adamantly support their teams. I think it's really unfair of Kevin Garnett to call Philly's fans "fair-weathered." They've endured some shitty weather in Philly and stayed in their seats to cheer/boo their teams.

And it's not like we don't have fair-weather fans up here in Boston. Garnett doesn't know that, of course, because the weather's been great in Boston since his arrival in 2007.

Goodnight, Dream Team

Tom Brady is now 4-0 in his career against the Eagles, and the Patriots improved to 8-3 on the season. It was a nice win, but not particularly impressive. Victory is only as impressive as the opponent. And Philadelphia without Vick isn't a very good team. So let's make fun of the self-anointed "Dream Team" and move on.

The big plays allowed by the Pats' secondary were worrisome. They've typically been able to prevent opponents from torching them so badly. Usually they surrender territory 8 to 15 yards at a time. And if Vince Young had been more consistent, then this game might have been a bit more interesting thanks to those big plays.

The Patriots offense is very good. That's not news. A few key players got back to being involved yesterday. BJG Ellis got the ball 14 times, and although he only got 44 yards, he scored twice, and he helped set-up play-action for Brady. The Patriots ran the ball 36 times

The wide receivers got involved too. Welker caught 8 passes for 115 and a pair of TDs. And Branch caught 6 for 125. The last time the Patriots' top two receiving leaders were actually wide receivers was week 5 against the Jets.

Defensively, it wasn't pretty, but it was effective. Vince Young had a lot to do with that. So did Andy Reid. 4th and 1 on the 3, you have a 6' 5" 235 pound QB and you don't sneak it? Instead you force your inconsistent QB to throw a pass that has little margin for error? Thank you, Andy.

We're not going to learn anything new about the Patriots in these next few weeks. They're up against some weak teams with mediocre to bad quarterbacks. This is time to pile up wins and get into the best playoff position as possible.

Patriots host the winless Colts next Sunday at 1.

Photo Credit:
AP Photo

MOSS IS STAYING

The Patriots and Randy Moss announced today that they agreed to a deal worth $27M over 3 years. This keeps Randy in a New England uniform for 2008, and keeps a key piece of last year's offensive juggernaut.

The past few days have been difficult for Pats fans. Guys like Rosevelt Colvin, Asante Samuel, Donte Stallworth and Randall Gay all leaving. Only special teamers like Lonie Paxton and Kelley Washington were free agents who were retained.

And then came the rumors. Hopeful media personalities from all over the country concocted stories of Randy Moss being interested in going anywhere and everywhere out of New England. One rumor had him going to Green Bay. Another had him going to Philly. Another had him reuniting with Daunte Culpeper.

Someone left a comment on my article about Gay leaving and observed that I wasn't at all upset by any of the losses the Patriots have endured this off-season. And days like today are why. By "losing" Rosevelt Colvin, Donte Stallworth, and Asante Samuel, the Pats actually gain something. Had these guys been retained and overpaid for, the Pats would have less cap room. Which means other positions would suffer. In effect, hanging onto guys like Samuel and Gay for an inflated price would be the true loss.

The $9M per season Moss will receive is somewhat of a bargain. It isn't nearly as cheap as he got in 2007. Nor is it lower than he would have gotten if the Patriots had placed the franchise tag on him. However, wrapping him up for 3 years is extremely good news.

In fact, some sources speculate that the Eagles offered Moss more money. Not surprisingly, Randy decided to take less money to play on a better team, with a better quarterback, for a better coach, and in a nicer city.

Sources:
Boston.com
Philadelphia Daily News

CASHANTE SIGNS WITH THE EAGLES

You know, nobody ever talks about how stupidity amongst NFL teams serves to prevent the construction of dynasties and keeps a level playing field.

A good player like Asante Samuel puts together a few good seasons, which is amplified by the fact that he's on one of the best teams in the League. Then he hits free agency, and someone is bound to overpay for him.

It's the Az Zahir Hakim phenomenon. You might remember Az from the Rams' Greatest Show on Turf. Some team parked a dump truck full of money in front of his house, he left St. Louis, and entered obscurity.

But this keeps teams from getting too good. If there were no salary cap, the Patriots would have matched the $60 million, 6 year deal the Eagles gave Samuel. But there is a cap, and that figure is simply way too high for a cornerback, even one as good as Samuel.

And if this news saddens you, and you really need a laugh, here's Asante's explanation for his decision:

"I just want a chance to be able to win and get back to the Super Bowl. That's why I picked the Philadelphia Eagles."

I guess he feels like he is more likely to win in Philly than in Foxborough. Good luck.

Source:
Boston.com

Photo Credit:
AP Photo/Matt Rourke