Thursday, January 05, 2012

Frazee Award for Goat of the Year

This Award is named after former Red Sox owner Harry Frazee, who sold Babe Ruth and many other talented players to the Yankees in order to finance his stupid Broadway plays. Basically, this Award is given to the biggest villain in Boston sports for the year. Here are the nominees:

David Ortiz, DH - Boston Red Sox
Josh Beckett, SP - Boston Red Sox
John Lackey, SP - Boston Red Sox
Jon Lester, SP - Boston Red Sox

Notice a trend?

The winner is...

John Lackey.

Not only does he sound like a drunk Kermit the Frog, he had one of the worst years as a starting pitcher in the history of the game. He was the first player to ever win 12 games with an ERA over 6.00. He allowed 114 earned runs, leading the AL. He also led the AL by hitting 19 batters. his 6.41 ERA and 1.619 WHIPs were jokes.

He was so bad that if the Sox made it to Game #163, there were rumors they'd acquire Bruce Chen to start instead of him. It takes some serious sucking to make Bruce Chen look like a savior.

His true villainy wasn't just on the field. He's a drunk. He, Beckett, and Lester would guzzle beers and devour chicken while their teammates were trying to win ballgames. At least Beckett and Lester weren't as blatantly out of shape as Lackey, though.

Lackey's attitude was obnoxious. He never blamed himself for anything. He called out fielders for missing plays with the bases loaded, seemingly forgetting that he was the one that loaded the bases.

He was one of the least likeable athletes in the world last year, at least among those who didn't commit a crime.

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