Patriots-Ravens Drinking Game: Divisional Round Edition

Saturday night. It will be cold. The game will be on. What else is there to do but sit by the fireplace, watch the Pats take on the Ravens, and get hammered? Drink your face off while everyone at Gillette freezes their asses off. Here's a drinking game to play while the Patriots play the Ravens:

Boston Blood Sox is not responsible for the illness, hospitalization, and death you will inevitably experience if you play this game.

Anytime a commentator says...
"We're on to..." = 1 drink from a beer
"Cincinnati" = 1 drink
"Frosty," "frigid," or anything cold related = 1 drink
The temperature = drink for as many seconds as there are degrees out
"Wind chill" = 1 shot of liquor
"Saturday" = 1 drink
"Night" = 1 drink
"Football" = 1 drink
"Round" = 1 drink
"Brady" = 1 drink
"Contract" = 1 drink
"Terrell" or "Darrelle" = 1 drink
"Jones" = 1 drink
"Smith" = 1 drink
"Hoomanawanui" or any variation = 1 drink
Any name that ends in "-ski" = 1 drink
"Offensive line" = 1 drink
"Issues" = 1 drink
"Panic" = 1 drink
Something about the Patriots' early season struggles = 1 drink
Something about Joe Flacco's playoff record = 1 drink
The other commentator's name = 1 drink
Something about Edgar Allen Poe (Poe is on screen) = 1 drink, 1 shot (bonus points for drinking Amontillado)


Anytime this happens...
Penalty flag thrown = 1 drink
Penalty against Brandon Browner = 1 shot
Penalty flag picked up = finish your beer and say "How 'bout them Cowboys?"
Josh McDaniels calls a cute play = 1 drink
The play actually works = 1 shot
Tom Brady points out the "mike" = 1 drink (bonus points for drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade, and you can command anyone else to finish their drink, but if drinking alone you must finish yours)
Brady says "Alpha Milk" = 1 drink (bonus points for drinking a White Russian, same authority as above)
Brady says any word beginning in F = 1 drink
Brady says any word ending in -uck = 1 drink
The Patriots go no huddle = 1 drink per snap
You want the Patriots to go no huddle but they're not = drink the entire time between snaps
Rob Gronkowski spikes the ball = finish your beer, then spike the empty to the ground (bonus points for glass bottles)
Danny Amendola catches a pass = an entire beer
Amendola celebrates another player's big play = 1 drink
You're worried that Julian Edelman is hurt = 1 drink
Edelman drops a pass = 1 drink
You're worried that Gronk is hurt = 1 drink
Gronk manhandles a Raven = 1 drink
Gronk manhandles a teammate = 1 drink
Gronk actually is hurt = finish your beer, drink a shot, then finish another beer, then go outside and cry
Brady gets hurried = 1 drink
Brady gets hit = 1 drink, 1 shot
Brady gets sacked = 1 drink, 1 shot, snort a line of painkillers
Vince Wilfork makes a big play = 1 drink
Jamie Collins or Chandler Jones make a big play = 1 drink
Wilfork forces and/or recovers a turnover = 1 drink, 1 shot
Wilfork scores a touchdown = 1 drink, 1 shot, devour a turkey leg
The Patriots block a kick/punt = finish your beer
Matthew Slater makes a special teams tackle = 1 drink
Touchback = 1 drink
Kickoff return = drink for the entire return


Anytime this is on screen...
Highlights of previous Patriots-Ravens playoff games = drink for the duration of the highlight
A graphic of previous playoff meetings = same rule, drink until it's off the screen
A thermometer = 1 drink, and the last person to take their drink has to stand outside for a minute
Ray Lewis (live or in highlights) = finish your beer, give an inspirational speech
Brady yelling = 1 drink
Belichick scowling = 1 drink
Jonas Gray standing on the sidelines = 1 drink
Bob Kraft = 1 drink
Kraft talking to someone = drink the entire time Kraft is talking
People ice skating or doing wintry things = go outside and stay outside until you finish your beer
Pedro Martinez = drink for 45 seconds
An Harbaugh = 1 drink
An angry Harbaugh = 1 shot
A replay of a ball maybe crossing a line, but since there's no sensors in the ball, these almost always incolcusive replays eat huge chunks of our lives = 1 drink per camera shot/angle, plus 1 shot if they zoom in on the ball
An actual raven = drop some molly, play with glowsticks (like a rave, get it?, bonus points if wearing a Welker jersey)
The words "Do your job" = do your job and finish your beer, and then whoever gets to the fridge first to get beers for everyone, gets to be Belichick and order people around until the next time Belichick is on screen.


Enjoy the game, and remember to get lubed up responsibly. And by that I mean designate a sober person to call 911 for you and contact your next of kin.

Clusterfuck 2024

You know that excitement and anxiety you feel before a big winter storm hits? That's what I feel like thinking about the impending Boston Olympics. There's a Nor'easter coming, and it's forecast to slam Boston in summer 2024.

Sullivan's Tap near the Garden, with its long bar, could host the fencing. The Gold's Gym next to Fenway could host the weightlifting. The beach volleyball could be held in Revere. We could have diving off the Tobin. Cycling on Brookline Ave, during rush hour. The 100 meter dash at Park Street, running between the Red Line and the Green Line. Hurdles over the panhandlers in Harvard Square. The balance beam on top of the Citgo sign. Water polo on the Fenway concourse when it floods.

Can you imagine the Opening Ceremony? Dropkick Murphy's played on repeat, Dennis Leary saying stuff quickly and bitterly, Rene Rancourt singing the anthem, and wall to wall Wahlbergs.

Do you watch the Summer Olympics? How much? All of it, or just some basketball, gymnastics, and of course beach volleyball? Well, Boston, prepare yourself to not only watch the games, but have all of them shoved in your face on a daily basis. You'll be drowning in the sweat of athletes. You'll have to be a judo blackbelt to fight the traffic. You'll have to be as flexible as a 75 pound Romanian gymnast to go through this ordeal without suffering a mental breakdown.

Boston's infrastructure can barely handle the strain of the daily commute. And it only takes one problem - such as a breakdown on 93, or a stopped train on the Red Line, or a fallen wire on the Commuter Rail tracks - for the whole house of cards to collapse.

Boston's bid for the 2024 Olympics hinges on public transportation to move spectators, officials, and participants around the city. There will be no centralized Olympic Park. Everything will be spread out, mostly at facilities attached to the city's universities. Fencing will be at MIT, field hockey at Harvard Stadium, rowing in Lowell. Yes, Lowell.

The innovative plan requires that large amounts of money are donated to schools for buildings that will be used for the Olympics, then become part of the university. UMass Boston, for instance, wants to build new dorms. These buildings could be used as an athletes' village before being converted for use by college freshman to pass out in after drinking 4 Smirnoff Ices.

It would be a reinvention of how the Olympics are played and paid for. Which scares the hell out of me. I love innovation, but figuring out new ways to do things means making mistakes. Mistakes cost money. The people who want the Olympics here can quote prices all they want. But we here in Boston know better than anyone that estimates mean nothing.

Seriously, how can you estimate an accurate cost for something that's never been done before?

When considering the Olympics, you shouldn't try to weigh costs vs. benefits. You need to look into who will profit, and who will pay. Weigh the takers vs. the payers. Suffolk and other contractors will profit. And I'm sure the unions doing the work won't ask for more money or anything. The people on these committees will all make a tidy salary. Cops will rack up the overtime with security details (you pay for that). Someone might get a new soccer stadium out of the deal. Hotels will clean up. Local businesses will make some money. There will be part-time work available for a short period. And the State government will be able to tax all of this (the construction, the wages made by workers and cops, hotel rooms, sales tax).

Just remember, every dollar made comes from somewhere.

Frankly, I'm not sure Boston could handle the strain on its infrastructure, even if it is improved. Imagine Marathon Monday, every day, for weeks. Now imagine you had to get to work on that day. Imagine you had to get from A to B, but on the way were the crowds from the archery and the high hurdles trying to get to their events.

What's the worst that could happen? An already antiquated and overused Green Line could break down, delaying events, making people late for work. Or worse, a train could derail. At the very least, public transportation will become a massive pain in the ass, as opposed to what you feel riding the T normally: numbness with the occasional acute flare up.

I'm not sure Bostonians want to deal with that. But if they do, then go for it. All I know is that if I'm living in Boston in 2024, then I'll rent my place during the Olympics and take a vacation.

A Tyler Seguin free explanation of why the Bruins suck

The Bruins played two games against weak opponents over the weekend, and only got 2 points. The Senators had a losing road record, and the B's lost to them at home. The Hurricanes are the second worst team in the NHL, and the B's lost to them in a shootout. Want to avoid playoff hockey? Continue to lose points to poor teams.

Tyler Seguin's absence is not the reason the Bruins are 5th in the division, are a point out of the playoffs, and have allowed more goals than they've scored. The Bruins won the President's Trophy last year without Seguin. So winning without Seguin is possible. And having Seguin doesn't automatically cause winning. The Stars are also out of the playoffs. The 16 teams sitting in playoff positions all lack Tyler Seguins. Somehow, they can win without Seguin. The Bruins can also win without Seguin.

I'll agree that the Bruins should have gotten more in return for him, and that the lack of return for him is contributing to their current struggles, but his presence on this team would do little to improve some very serious issues. Such as...

Tuukka Time running out
Rask is 23rd in GAA (2.54) and 25th in save percentage (.911).

If Rask were caught wearing a Jeb Bush 2016 campaign button, I think fans and media would turn on him just like they turned on Tim Thomas. Rask's play isn't much better than Thomas' back in the 2011-12 season, when Thomas and his politics were blamed for the team's post-Cup struggles.

Rask hasn't been awful. But his job requires more than "not awful." His job is to help the team win. And he's not doing that.

He stopped 35 shots against Carolina Sunday, but the goal he allowed in regulation was a little soft. He's capable of doing better. He's capable of stopping that shot, and pitching a shutout to give his team 2 much needed points. And against Ottawa on Saturday the Senators' first goal over his shoulder was very stoppable. The B's probably win in regulation if Rask had done his job.

Seguin isn't a goalie, he wouldn't be able to help solve this problem.

Loafing Lucic a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty
Can someone slip some adderall in this guy's Gatorade to wake him up and get him focused? Lucic is just a lumbering oaf on skates these days. One goal and 4 assists the last 15 games. Did you even notice him in on the ice in those games? Only when the camera accidentally caught him wandering around the ice lost.

I don't care about the lack of scoring as much as I do about the lack of energy. Svedberg has skated more miles and with more intensity than Lucic this season. Lucic is not playing with any purpose.

Seguin is not a power forward like Lucic can be. Seguin wouldn't help.

No Shawn Thornton replacement. No fighters=no fight
Last year the B's were second in the NHL with 46 fighting majors. Today they're tied for 11th with 15, on pace for 31, a 32% reduction in fights. The Bruins are also on pace for a 23% reduction in points. Coincidence?

Shawn Thornton had 10 of those fights last year, and those were against the strongest, toughest fighters in the NHL. Those were the heavyweight bouts that got the blood pumping. This season Gregory Campbell leads the team with 4 fights. Lucic has 3. I guess Lucic's value as a scorer means he's too important to be fighting. Can't risk hurting those goal-scoring hands. Bobby Robins, currently playing in Providence, is third on the Bruins with 2 fights.

Fighting was part of this team's identity last season. Nine Bruins fought multiple times, 5 had 5+ fights. Even Bergeron dropped the gloves.

This team lacks energy. I understood not keeping Thornton, but the B's made no effort to replace him and the energy he brought both as a 4th liner and a fighter. Not replacing Thornton was like replacing your morning coffee with warm cream and valium.

Seguin doesn't fight.

Cap jail
The Bruins never made tough salary cap decisions until they were forced to before this season, trading Johnny Boychuk to the Islanders (who should rename their team: Lost). The B's didn't make compromises with who'd they sign, who'd they let go. They locked up their top 4 forwards, their top 2 defensemen (3 counting Boychuk), and their goalie.

Milan Lucic costs the team $6 million. He's on pace to score 12 goals. $500k per goal. That's a horrible rate.

Chris Kelly and Loui Eriksson combine to make $7.25 million. So not only do the Bruins spend for their best forwards ($17.75 million for Bergeron, Lucic, and Krejci), they also spend for guys whose production could be replaced by players making a third as much.

Is Marchand a $4.5 million player? At times. But he's paid that salary all the time.

You can't just retain everybody you want. The Bruins did that for years, re-signing everyone who played well. We as fans praised it. We thought the B's were building a strong foundation. What they were doing, however, was building their own prison cell around themselves.

They now have overpaid, under-performing players, and lack the flexibility to make significant changes.

Here Seguin would help, because he's not making much money. But Chris Kelly would still be on the roster.

By the way, Bruins fans, stop giving Neely all the credit when moves work out, and Chiarelli all the blame when they don't. I know we all love Cam, and Chiarelli is just a guy in a suit to us, but let's not divide credit and blame based on fanboy love.

This team can play better than this. But if they haven't gotten their collective heads out of their collective ass by now, when will they? They see the standings. They see the calendar changing to 2015. They've seen Krejci and Chara return. What will it take to wake the proverbial bear? Will Jack Edwards need to sacrifice himself to the hockey gods by humping the third rail at North Station?

Even if that works and they make playoffs, I'm not optimistic about their chances for a deep run. Rask is not yet a proven playoff goalie. Marchand is awful in the playoffs. This team has no defensive depth.

Tyler Seguin isn't a goalie, so he can't help Rask. Seguin struggles more in the playoffs than Marchand has. Tyler Seguin is not a defenseman. So even with Seguin, this team would be facing playoff difficulties, if they can get their act together and make the playoffs.

Photo Credit:
Jerome Miron/USA Today Sports

We're on to worrying about Baltimore

Baltimore. The Ravens. Dark wings, dark thoughts. Painful memories...

January 10, 2010 (which will be 5 years ago to the day on Saturday), Ray Rice abusing the Patriots like they were engaged to him, the Ravens scoring 24 in the 1st quarter, Brady throwing 3 picks.

January 20, 2013, the last meaningful game the Patriots lost at Gillette Stadium. Anquan Boldin and Torrey Smith taking advantage of Aqib Talib's injury. Joe Flacco throwing 3 TDs while Brady had a QB rating of 62.3.

Even January 22, 2012, when only a missed field goal prevented the game from going into overtime.

So yeah, there are reasons to not be thrilled to face the Ravens. Even though they're the 6th seed. Even though they were 6-6 this season against non-NFC South teams.

Joe Flacco's postseason resume is another cause for concern. Of the other AFC playoff QBs, only he and Roethlisberger have a fearsome playoff pedigree. Flacco is also a proven winner at Gillette. Hell, he's been significantly better than Brady in playoff games in Foxborough the last 5 years.

Psychological scars and matchup issues aside, if you can't beat the #6 seed, at home, then you don't deserve to win a Super Bowl. It's as simple as that. So while this is a relatively tough opponent for the Patriots to face, this is football, this is winter, it's supposed to be tough. It was tough in 2001 facing the Raiders, Steelers, and Rams. It was tough in 2003 and 2004 facing the Colts, Titans, and Eagles.

So let's move on from the past and focus on Saturday's game.

I'm going to be short and sweet in my analysis. The Patriots need to avoid the three Fs:

Fucking around
Fucking up
Fumbling (and throwing fucking picks)

The Pats can't play mediocre football for a half or 3 quarters, then hope to put it all together at the end. The clock in a playoff game moves unbelievably fast when you're playing from behind. So no fucking around, no waiting until after halftime to play your best.

Another thing the Pats can't fuck around with is play calling. Baltimore isn't good at defending the pass and were 4th best defending the run. So yes, Josh McDaniels, the Ravens will be expecting you to throw the ball. And that's okay. It's okay to do what they expect, because the reason they expect it is because they're not good at stopping it.

When Josh McDaniels was a young child, I bet he poured sugar on slugs, because he figured the slugs expected salt.

No fucking up starts with not letting Tom Brady get killed. Don't run plays that require Brady to sit in the pocket for 30 seconds while a receiver makes a double move or a crossing route develops. Short quick passes will keep Brady on his feet. Not doing so would be a colossal fuck up.

No Wes Welker style drops. No missed field goals. No botched snaps. No Patrick Chung fake punts. No blown coverages or missed tackles that result in 40 yard gains. No unnecessary penalties.

Last but certainly not least, protecting the football is of paramount importance, more than in most games. In the three recent playoff games against Baltimore, the Pats turned the ball over 10 times. Baltimore only turned it over 3 times. The Pats don't need to win the turnover battle to win the game. But if they don't lose the turnover stat, then it will be nearly impossible for the Ravens to win the game.

As physical and tough as the Ravens are, as well as Flacco has played in Foxborough, this is still the Patriots' game to lose. If they avoid getting cute, play a full 60 minutes, don't make massive mistakes, and keep the ball in their hands, they should win.

My prediction: Patriots 27, Ravens 17

Photo Credit:
Don Wright/Associated Press

Oregon players shouldn't make light of rape accusations

You shouldn't make light or fun of something as heavy and serious as rape accusations.

After Nike's corporate football team, a.k.a. the Oregon Ducks, beat Florida State in the Rose Bowl Thursday night, a few players were seen and heard mockingly singing "No means no" to the tune of FSU's War Chant.

I don't like Jameis Winston, so I don't care about him being mocked. He's arrogant, immature, spoiled, whiny, and stupid. And I can't like anyone who says something like this:

"The only thing as vicious as rape is falsely accusing someone of rape."

In Winston's mind, being falsely accused of rape is the same as being raped. Winston thinks what he's gone through is just as "vicious" as if some guy had forcefully penetrated him against his will. I wonder if he'll have nightmares, difficulty sleeping, panic attacks, or other symptoms of PTSD after being accused of rape. Hopefully he can find a good shrink or support group and one day get over the viciousness of the ordeal he's had to go through, which in his mind is the same as the ordeal rape victims go through.

I understand liking Winston as a football player. I don't understand liking him as a person.

Anyway, back to Oregon players making light of all this. Oregon says they will discipline the players. I don't know how you can effectively discipline college football players apart from benching them or revoking their scholarship. You can't really fine them. What else are you going to do? Give them detention? Even more laughable, take away academic credits? Or hold them back a year (also known as redshirting)?

In college football, the athletes (and sometimes the coaches) have all the leverage in the disciplinary situation. And poorly disciplined teams frequently succeed (see: Florida Gators). So long as the cash flows, and the donors buy a new uniform every week, discipline is a secondary issue.

Just look at the stupid actions of Jameis Winston that were proven. The crab legs. The fuck her right in the pussy. Those are great examples of discipline being secondary. And in theory, you'd think someone falsely accused of rape, who nearly saw all his life's dreams taken from him, would learn a lesson about how he behaves. You'd also think that someone who got away with a crime would continue to act with abandon. Which one of these two does Jameis Winston act like?

I don't care about Winston being mocked. But I can't laugh about this particular mock. The Oregon players just seem too happy making a joke about a possible rape. That's not something to laugh about. Doing so is fucked up.

Anyone who has seen my Twitter feed (@BostonBloodSox) probably knows that I too crack jokes about Jameis Winston, Florida State, and the Tallahassee PD.

Oregon is covering up the football as well as Florida State and the Tallahassee PD cover up sexual assault #RoseBowl #FSUvsORE
— BostonBloodSox (@BostonBloodSox) January 2, 2015

My jokes, however, are cynical observations of the absurdity of the case. I don't laugh or smile when I post them.The whole situation is so ridiculous, and such a sad joke in and of itself, that the only way you can talk about it without feeling dangerous levels of toxic rage is to joke.

Another example of a cynical joke about this particular story: If the Tallahassee PD investigated whether or not these Oregon players made this mock chant, even with video evidence, it would take them 2 years and the investigation would be inconclusive.

Another one: If an FSU player made a video like this, he'd delete it for some reason, and nobody would question why it was deleted.

These aren't jokes to elicit laughter. These jokes are meant to point out how tragically silly and painfully stupid the situation is.

A girl's extreme drunkenness is used to question the reliability of her story, yet somehow as drunk as she was, she was able to willfully give consent? Furthermore, I know the principle of innocent until proven guilty, yet for some reason in rape cases, the accuser is guilty of being a dirty lying slut until proven innocent. And if it involves someone famous then said hoe is even less likely to be telling the truth.

It's a joke that Winston thinks being accused of rape is "as vicious" as being raped. It's a joke that ESPN uses euphemisms like "off-field distractions" to describe the case. It's a joke that some in the media and many fans are 1,000% certain of Winston's innocence, there's no doubt at all, as if they've been present for all of Winston's sexual encounters and know for a fact that they've all been consensual. Then these people point to an unmotivated, poorly executed police investigation as evidence of this 100% certainty of innocence.

The Tallahassee PD's investigation into the accusation is the biggest, worst joke of all. Read the NY Times piece exposing how poorly it was conducted. Then imagine your sister or girlfriend or wife or mother accusing someone of rape, then watching your local police investigate it with minimal effort and in almost complete doubt of the accuser, Tallahassee Style. You'd be enraged.

Rage. Frustration. Disappointment. Cynicism. Those are appropriate reactions. Not laughter and smiles, along with joking mock chants.

If you're not busy from 4-7, watch USA vs. Canada in the World Juniors

It's New Year's Eve and you're probably busy buying liquor, making resolutions, and watching college football, but if you have some free time between 4 in the afternoon and 7 at night, then put on NHL Network and watch Team USA play Team Canada in the World Juniors.

Every player on Team Canada has been drafted by an NHL team, except for the 2 who aren't yet old enough to be drafted. That's how good they are.

How often do we in the US see our sports teams playing the role of David against Goliath? How often are we the plucky underdogs, fighting against all the odds, against a mighty opponent who seems almost unbeatable? Sure, we're massive underdogs in soccer. But in that sport we don't have much of a chance to win. We struggle with Ghana and Mexico. Beating giants like Germany and Spain and Brazil is nearly impossible. But in hockey, we're the underdogs, but we still have a legit chance. We can actually beat Canada.

This is a group stage game. Both Team USA and Team Canada have clinched advancement into the elimination rounds of the 2015 World Juniors. So what's on the line is pride. Two top hockey rivals fighting for pride, holding back nothing because there's nothing to lose. That's a recipe for high quality sports entertainment.

The winner of this game wins Group A and gets a top seed in the quarterfinals. The loser finishes second.

More importantly, the winner will have beaten the loser. In this rivalry, that's serious motivation.

So, if you have some free time from 4 to 7, turn to NHL Network and watch a bunch of young Americans play against a bunch of young Canadians in front of a bunch of older drunk Canadian fans.

If you like hockey, this is as pure and as competitive and as spirited as it gets. No fights, no contracts, no holding back, just a bunch of kids playing for national pride on an international stage.

Happy New Year.

The Patriots' road to the Super Bowl

Super Bowl 49. Super Bowl XLIX. Super Bowl X-licks. What does the road to the Super Bowl look like for the New England Patriots?

Divisional Round

vs. IND or CIN or BAL

If Baltimore beats the Steelers, the Patriots will host the 6th seeded Ravens no matter what happens in the other AFC Wild Card game. However, I strongly think Pittsburgh will win that game, so then the Pats would face the winner of the Bengals-Colts game. To be blunt, neither of those teams scare me. They both feature talented players, but they're not tough teams. The Patriots have thoroughly dismantled both of them this season and I'd expect the Pats to do the same thing in the Divisional Round. So it's on to the AFC Championship.

AFC Championship

vs. DEN or PIT

Again, this is based on the premise that the Steelers will beat the Ravens. Denver vs. Pittsburgh is a tough game to predict. The Broncos have talent, but have looked stale the past few weeks. The Steelers have flaws, but are a hot team. Pittsburgh's secondary isn't very good, so I'm leaning toward the Broncos to win.

The Patriots would have an edge against either team. The Pats are tougher than the Broncos, they have pass-rushers who can get to Manning, they have DBs who can pick him off. Denver's only hope would be for Ward to injure Gronk and Welker to take out Revis.

Pittsburgh would be a more difficult matchup. However, the Pats offense should be good enough to take advantage of Pittsburgh's DBs. Unless Josh McDaniels gets too cute. The Steelers were 27th in passing defense, so Josh "that's just what they'll be expecting us to do" McDaniels, might try to pound the ball on the ground (Pittsburgh was 6th in rushing defense).

The Patriots should beat Denver unless there are injuries, and should beat Pittsburgh unless they get too clever.

Super Bowl

vs. SEA or GB or DAL or CAR or ARI or DET

Carolina can't win 3 playoff games. Arizona can't make the Super Bowl without a quarterback. Detroit doesn't have the makeup for a deep playoff run. So that leaves us with the Seahawks, Packers, and Cowboys, with the Seahawks being the most likely winner of the NFC.

The Seahawks would also be the toughest matchup for the Patriots. They're red hot, they have playmakers on both sides of the ball, they don't make massive mistakes, they play with extremely high confidence but don't play outside of themselves. They also have the best passing defense in the NFL and the 3rd best rushing defense.

For the Patriots to beat Seattle, they'll have to win it on defense against Russell Wilson and Marshawn Lynch. Seattle was 27th in passing, averaging only 203 yards per game in the air. They were #1 in the NFL in rushing with over 172 yards per game. If the Pats can contain the run, manage a few field goals, make a play on special teams, make a big play downfield (which the Pats have struggled to do all season), then they're Super Bowl champions. Just a handful of big plays would decide a Seahawks-Patriots Super Bowl. It would be an epic game.

There are more ways to beat the Cowboys and Packers. The Patriots almost beat Green Bay in Green Bay despite a poor first half and despite some cheese-friendly officiating in the second half. Don't get me wrong I respect the Packers, there are just more ways to beat them than there are ways to beat the Seahawks.

The Cowboys are also beatable. Give them credit for going 8-0 on the road, in a year where some of the best teams in the NFL went 4-4 away from home. But until Romo and the Cowboys can win when there's pressure, I don't fear them. Maybe if they win a couple of playoff games and get to the Super Bowl, they will have garnered my respect. Until then, I will continue to see Tony Romo as a nervous holder bumbling a long-snap.

So there's the road. The Patriots beat the Bengals or Colts in the Divisional round. Then beat the Broncos or Steelers to win the AFC, so long as they don't get hurt or get smart. Then it's probably a tough, too-close-to-call battle against the Seahawks.

That Super Bowl will either be the confirmation of the beginning of the Seahawks dynasty, or an exclamation point on the Patriots' dynasty. If Super Bowl 49 is Seahawks vs. Patriots, we will hear the word "dynasty" at least 300,000 times in the 2 weeks leading up to the game.

Peyton Manning gives Patriots an early Christmas present

The Patriots clinched the #1 seed in the AFC playoffs thanks to Peyton Manning whizzing it down his leg against the Bengals.

Look, Manning is a great QB, and a Hall of Famer, and he's led his team on countless game-winning drives in the 4th quarter and overtime. But when did he get a reputation as a clutch quarterback, let alone as one of the most clutch QBs of all time, as Mr. Gruden was claiming moments before Manning threw a wobbly, game-ending pick? Did I miss that ruling on Peyton Manning? Was there a meeting where that was decided?

"One of the greatest crunch time quarterbacks of all time," was how Jon Gruden described Manning before that pick 6. Really?

I honestly didn't know what would happen last night when Manning got the ball back, down by 2, needing only a field goal to beat the Bengals. It was an exciting, tense, dramatic situation. And it was raining. And in hindsight, all that drama, plus some imperfect weather, those are ingredients for Manning Choke Soup.

Manning just can't let himself get past things. He obsesses over the weather, and scoreboard operators, instead of moving on with his life, and focusing on what HE can do to do his job well.

I'd feel bad for him if he didn't look like a jagoff trying to host the world's biggest pity party whenever something bad happens. I'd feel bad for him if he didn't try to blame failures on everyone and everything but himself. I'd feel bad for him if he didn't call out scoreboard operators for trivial things.

Let's think back to that story with the scoreboard operator in Denver. Peyton didn't like that the jumbotron was inciting noise from the Denver fans while the team was on offense. That's fine. But can't Peyton address that issue in-house? Can't he go to John Fox or John Elway and say "In the future, we need the scoreboard operators to help keep the crowd quiet on offense?" He's Peyton Manning! Doesn't he have enough influence in that organization to take care of the issue without going to the media? Can't he even go directly to the staff who operate the scoreboard and talk to them?

Nope. Because Peyton had to make it known to the entire world why he wasn't amazing at the end of a game his team won. And it was the scoreboard operator's fault. He didn't talk about it to the media to stop it from happening in the future, he talked about to explain what he saw as his inadequate play.

Could you imagine another QB in the League doing that? Brady? Ryan? Rodgers? Roethlisberger? Wilson? Romo (maybe)?

Could you imagine another QB in the League doing that and receiving nearly no criticism?

People like Peyton. He's polite. He's punctual. He wears suits to press conferences. I'd probably like him if  not for my favorite team competing against him for supremacy in the AFC. But if I wanted to like him, I'd also have to ignore the choking, the blaming others for failure, the way he lets things like the weather get to him, the endless commercials, the boring clean-cut Johnny Unitas routine, the accent that mixes together the most annoying parts of southern and midwestern, and the face. The Manning Face. The ultimate accessory in disappointing body language. Manning Face demoralizes teammates, not opponents. It's judgmental, it's sad, it isn't inspiring, it isn't unifying.

Give me Tom Brady unleashing torrents of F-bombs over Manning-Face any day.

The people who like Peyton Manning make compromise after compromise to like him. And good for them. I'm not as patient or forgiving with people as Manning likers. Ultimately, all that really matters to is that Peyton's failure on Monday Night Football propelled the Patriots the #1 seed overall in the AFC.

Winter is coming, and the best place to be in Winter is at home.

Photo Credit:
Scott Radakovich and NFL Memes